"How have you been these past few weeks?" Dr. Jareau asked kindly, watching the boy with long hair play with a rubiks cube again. Manic smiled a bit, looking up at the doctor's blue eyes. "Better than I was when I got here, I guess."
Dr.Jareau smiled. She could see that he was feeling a bit better but there was still much to be done. She was glad that he wasn't having much personality attacks again. "Thats good, now have you drawn your pictures I wanted to see?"
Manic nodded, picking up the big leather art book from the small table in front of him. He flipped into it until he stopped at the fifth page. He held up the book, showing the doctor the pictures he drew.
Ups! Ten obraz nie jest zgodny z naszymi wytycznymi. Aby kontynuować, spróbuj go usunąć lub użyć innego.
Ups! Ten obraz nie jest zgodny z naszymi wytycznymi. Aby kontynuować, spróbuj go usunąć lub użyć innego.
Ups! Ten obraz nie jest zgodny z naszymi wytycznymi. Aby kontynuować, spróbuj go usunąć lub użyć innego.
Ups! Ten obraz nie jest zgodny z naszymi wytycznymi. Aby kontynuować, spróbuj go usunąć lub użyć innego.
She looked over the series of drawings with interest. They were very good and held so much meaning to them. Manic was a boy with many talents.
"Who's the girl?" She asked, "A girlfriend?"
Manic nodded. "No, my sister Lola....And that's her eyes when I was arrested." He pointed to the picture of the blue green colored eye that had tears in its eye. He pointed to the hands and said. "That's me and her holding hands...She keeps me from my painful thoughts and the last one are lyrics to a song I love....They resonate with me well,"
Dr. Jareau nodded, staying quiet so he could continue.
"I uh...."He trailed off, setting the book down. "Lola's is really the only reason I'm still alive today,"
"What do you mean by that?" She asked sincerely.
Manic looked down at his hands, fiddling his fingers. He bit his lower lip before speaking again.
"I walked around with a front that I don't care about anyone or anything but....behind all of that....I hate myself." He explained quietly. Tears forming but not falling. The Doctor watched as his shoulders started to shake a bit. "I walk through my life everyday trying to be the modeled son for my parents, trying to be the tough guy at school, trying to be the best brother to my sister but all the while......I am hurting inside."
Manic let out a silence sob, not daring to look up. He didn't want Jareau to see him cry. But she saw his tears falling.
"I never told anyone but.....I've tried to kill myself before.....Things got too much to handle for me and I took my dad's six shooter, drove to Sweet-water River and was going to kill myself....."
Dr. Jareau looked on, sadness and sympathy lacing her blue eyes. She sighed, putting down her pen, not wanting to document this.
"What stopped you?"
Manic stayed quiet, wiping the tears and looked at the doctor again. His eyes red and irritated. his breath shaky and his hands intertwined in each other. He moved his hair out of his face.
"Lola called me just before I pulled the trigger...." He sobbed out. "She called me asking if I wanted to go to the drive in,"
"Manic, sadness doesn't make you weak. Being in pain doesn't make you less of a person," Jareau said, leaning forward. "You don't have to go at this alone anymore, holding this hurt and pain inside is not healthy nor should you do so......You bare the world's problems on your shoulders. Although, that's an admirable trait of you, does not mean you have to suffer the weight in silence.....You're strong but remember, you're human."
Manic sat there, letting the tears fall out of his eyes. He thought of his family. He loved his mom and dad dearly. He loved his older brother. But no one loved Lola more than him. She was his other half, his weight to the world. The only thing stopping him from ending his own life. He knew he had to live. If not for himself, then for her.
Fuck.....I'm so sorry if you're a sobbing mess like me right now.
I'm so sorry.
I just want you guys to know that his mental disability runs more than just a psychotic road. He's struggled with depression since he was a kid and probably the reason why he's also dealing with IED and the heaviness that comes with it. Him finding out only added his sadness and stress. He already hates himself, no one telling him that he has this only added the self hate and loathing.
