Love and Other Potions

Punk'd {Sirius}

Requested by Monneeyyzz, glummyberms3, and notofuckingk.

Young Sirius

"Y/N!" a familiar voice yells through the sea of students.

"Yes dearie?" you call back.

A grinning Sirius comes into view.

"What are you doing on this fine morning?"

"I'm discovering a new breed of penguin off the coast of Antarctica. You want to join?"

"Only if I get cuddles in that cold weather."

He winks at you.

"As long as the penguin doesn't have a mate. I'm not going to let you come and be an igloo-wrecker."

He blinks at you as you laugh.

"If you weren't so cute, I'd be mad."

"Oh, I'm so fortunate that my chromosomes lined up just right to avoid the wrath of Sirius Orion Black."

"Damn right."

You chuckle again.

"Y/N, you should sit with me in the Great Hall."

"Why?"

He sighs dramatically.

"Potter is simply insufferable."

You gasp.

"Don't say such a thing about your soul mate!"

He mock glares at you.

"Peter always stares at me oddly though," you complain.

"It's probably because it's the closest he's been to an attractive person that wasn't made of cardboard."

"He's with Lily all the time."

"So?"

"I am so telling Lily that you think I'm more attractive!"

"Don't! I want to live to see next week!"

"Too late pretty boy!"

He smirks at you.

"Pretty boy?"

You cough into your sleeve to distract him.

"I'll sit with you only because Remus will be there."

"Really? I invite you and you come for my best mate?"

"Yeah?"

He shrugs.

"Alright."

You watch as James takes an ungodly sized bite of his chicken drumstick. The bite is so big that he can barely chew and keep his mouth closed.

"So Y/N."

You turn to Remus.

"How did Lucius Malfoy take your rejection?"

You laugh.

"He was so surprised that I could turn down such 'romantic' gestures."

"What romantic gestures?" Sirius says in a voice that's an octave lower than his normal one.

"Well, it started with simple finger hearts at me whenever he saw me. I ignored him so he progressed to wolf whistles and crude hand gestures that imitated sex."

"Really?"

"Yeah, Remus was there for most of it. That's how he knew."

"That's interesting."