Daughter of the Naga | Lesbian Story|

Chapter 42

I opened my eyes to the tranquil and serene ambiance of my chamber. My throbbing head rested on a soft feathered pillow as pieces of memories came back slowly to me.

I propped myself up from the bed and waited until my blurry surroundings stopped spinning in my vision. The waking pain then raged through my body. I bit my lips from crying out and managed to get to a sitting position. I realized it was still nighttime.

My arms and legs were covered with bandages. Taking a deep breath, I swung my wobbly legs over the side of the bed. But then I cried out from a stinging pain, which shot through my body. I remembered I had been hit by a hard object during the fight.

"My lady!" Kesar's voice came to me.

I looked up to see her worried face as she rushed forward. Kesar wrapped her gentle hands around my body and carefully righted me back to the bed again.

"You're still recovering. The wounds might reopen if you move too soon," she said, staring at me with anxious eyes.

"How..." I croaked. "How long have I been sleeping?"

"You slept through two days and a night," Kesar answered. "Lord Romanir said you need more rest. If the wounds have no infections, you shall be all right with just a few drinks of the holy Soma."

After I regained some leverage with my mind and my body, Kesar went over to a wooden tea table by the bedside. She poured a cup of herbal remedy. She then brought the cup to my dry lips and nursed me with it.

The juice tasted divine and was thirst-quenching. After I finished it, Kesar wiped my damp lips with her soft handkerchief. Her eyes never left me.

"What about the others?" I asked. "Are they alright?"

"Everyone is truly worried about you," Kesar said. "Even the Queen was here."

"The Queen visited me? Which one?" I said in surprise.

"It was Queen Jayarajadevi who came by," she said. "She seemed the most worried. When you were first brought to the Aswins House, she constantly ordered the palace maids to tend to you."

I felt blessed with the Queen's concern, but at the same time, ashamed of myself for failing her hope.

I sat back with a sigh. Now everyone knew me for who I really was. Then I wondered how this made Amarisa feel, seeing me weak and defeated. I was no longer worthy of her attention.

"Kesar, how...how about Amarisa?" I asked. "Did she come to see me, too?"

I was hoping to hear Kesar say 'yes'. I wanted to know that the princess cared about me and that she still loved me. But Kesar dropped her gaze from mine and stared at her own hands instead. I just knew the answer right away.

"She didn't come to see me, did she?" I said. Kesar stayed quiet as I took a deep ragged breath. I could hear my own heart shatter one piece at a time. My princess must have been embarrassed. She realized that I wasn't as great as she thought. Amarisa had seen the real me and how weak and unworthy I was.

All my friends might as well think I had tricked them all into believing that I was the Destined One. I disappointed their King and Queens. Issarak would be so pleased that the duel had shown my true form. A weakling mortal girl that they mistook as a savior. His theme had gone as planned. With all the hopes I had crashed, I did not even deserve to be here, much less deserve Amarisa's love.

I wished I could do the impossible, the unimaginable and beyond just for her.

A wave of soul-crushing pain raged through my chest. My face contorted with grief as I clutched my heart from the deep anguish.

"Are you alright, my lady?" Kesar wrapped her arms around me. Her stirring emotional eyes stared at my pained expression in alarm.

"I have failed everyone, Kesar," I said in a trembling, teary voice. "I let Amarisa down. I let the King and Queens down. I have no talents, no special powers, and no wits. What made them think I could save their empire? You are wrong about me! I'm not as holy as you think, Kesar. I'm useless. I'm nothing! Now that the princess has ceased to long for me, I no longer wish to live. Why didn't you let me die?"

Hopeless tears streamed down my cheeks. It was the first time Kesar saw me cry. I cried from all the sadness and pain. I cried from a broken heart and the lost love that never came into its full bloom. Amidst it all, I also cried because I was angry at myself.

What did the gods want from me?

The wrecking sob shook my entire being. Kesar pulled me to her chest and held me there. She rubbed my back and whispered soothing words into my ear, but she let me cry.

I didn't know how much time had passed. After I shed all the tears left in me, I was drained. Kesar coaxed me back to bed again. She pulled the blanket over my shaking form. The maiden wiped my tear-stained cheeks and brushed away the hair from my face.

"Don't leave me too, Kesar," I whispered, still panting from the outburst. A sad smile appeared on her sympathetic face. She leaned forward and kissed my forehead softly. Sleep loomed nearer as my heavy eyelids began to close. Before I lost myself to the comfort of sleep, I felt Kesar's gentle lips on mine.

"How I wish you could see yourself through my eyes."