Through the Darkness || Finn&Rey

Chapter 81

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I am so sorry for such a long break, I have missed updating! I hate to say it though but my updating may be quite irregular for the next few weeks, I have essays due and exam coming soon. I will try to update at least once a week, I'm so sorry but I'll be back to regular updates before you know it :) Thank you for your continuous support I appreciate it all.
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My day starts slowly and I sulk through the halls knowing I don't have Rey to return to tonight - and a lot of nights to come. Rehab is slow and repetitive. It always begins the same way: some stretches to start, then a few basic exercises, some sit ups here and some push ups there. To follow that is a lot of practice using equipment, and even more weights. Some patients have advanced to heavier weights, and even I feel the burn of my muscles strengthening now.

I find my way to Jaeden's room and by now I can't muster the strength to act happy. He greets me joyously, but I can't seem to smile when I return his greeting. He squints his tired eyes at me and I look down. I am about to start placing out the required equipment but his question makes me stop mid step. "Rey's gone again?" his voice laced with cautious surety.

"How'd you know?"

"You looked like this every day she was away the other week. Then when she came back you were back to yourself again," he slowly pulls himself into a sitting position.

"Yeah, I don't know how long she'll be gone this time," I admit and he frowns.

"Don't you trust her?" He asks. Our friendship has definitely deepened over the past month but for some reason I feel his question has crossed some type of line.

"Of course I trust her." I don't let myself contemplate what would happen if she was to find someone else; because my mind will never let the thoughts leave. It would be best if I just kept that locked away.

"Then what is it?"

"It's just hard without her," Jaeden nods in sympathy. He may not have a relationship of his own to compare his feelings too, but he doesn't need to, because he seems to understand me quite well.
"Come on, let's get started."
Jaeden agrees and I turn back around to lay out the weights.

***

A few days have passed and I'm learning to not sulk like a child, but I still have my moments. I thought sleeping without her would be impossible, but we find our way to be together even in our dreams. Even if it's just walking through the forest with our hands locked, it's enough to cause me to wake with a smile.

I approach the administration desk to see if I will have anyone new added to my roster, the familiar glint of silver wheel caps glistening under the fluorescent lights catches my eye.

"Hey, Poe," I call as I wait for the droid, XR49P, to rummage through the holofiles. He smiles up at me from his seat; the nurse pushes him to a halt in front of me and goes behind the desk.

"Hey. Busy day?"

"You could say that. When do you get out of this place?" I groan, I miss seeing him in his pilots uniform and rushing from the military compound to the hangars multiple times a day. I hear a long crash and look over to the nurses and droids all of them are looking at a young girl with long dark hair who has just dropped a tray full of someone's breakfast. I open my mouth to say something my mind had not yet decided when Poe speaks again.

"They want me to stay in the infirmary while I complete my rehab, it just makes it easier. But they let me sleep in my room the other night; I just need help getting in and out of bed." I nod.

"That's great!" He shrugs, and I think for a moment. "So do you think you'll be able to come and stay over at the housing unit now that you're allowed out more often?"

"I don't see why that would be an issue," his smile almost, almost makes it to his eyes like it used to. It's the biggest smile I've seen from him in weeks and I feel guilty for not offering earlier. Rey told me Poe needs me more than her and I feel like I haven't made enough time for him; but that will change now.

"Stay over tonight, we have a spare room."

"Really?" His eyes widen and I'm confused by his utter surprise, and it makes my guilt reach deeper in my gut. I nod in reply, "But I have to be back for rehab tomorrow morning," I nod again.

"Of course, I'll get you here right on time," I grin and see XR49P approaching from the corner of my eye "How's it coming along?" The droid passes me the holocharts as I ask.

I make sure they're in order, "Yeah I'm doing well," I glance at him for just long enough to see his smile waver.

I nod slowly, then pat his shoulder as I walk past him.

"I'll see you tonight."

"Yeah, have a good day..."

"You too," I call back to him as I walk into the first room and set up the equipment.

Starla finds me a few hours later when I am about to go on break. I am rubbing a towel over my sweaty hair when she tells me that she misses me and wanted to eat lunch together.

"Of course," I wrap my arm around her small shoulder and pull her against my side in a friendly hug and gesture to the door. I throw the towel into the basket in the corner of the room and my patient does the same, giving me a smile before going to lay on her bed and insert some tubes into his skin.

"See you tomorrow," I call as I follow Starla out, and I hear her repeat my words with a tad more finality.

"It has been such a long time since we've spent any time together, I thought you'd be up for lunch," Starla states casually as we walk to the break room.

"Thank you for offering." I think for a moment longer. "I always have time for my favourite nurse," I flash her a cheeky grin and she rolls her eyes.

I sit at one of the tables while Starla grabs some food from the fridge.
I nod at a few nurses who I have become friends with over the few weeks I've worked here. I don't keep to myself as much as I did before, and I realised I shouldn't have been so secluded.

"How's the rehab program going?"

"Really well, a few patients have left now. I don't know what I'll do when they all recover," I admit to her my worries in a way that doesn't do justice to how much they have been affecting me.

"Why don't you do some proper training if you're interested, you can work here,"

"What about training with the new recruits and be a foot soldier?" I hear one of the nurses call out from her table. I've seen him multiple times, he was Poe's nurse after his first crash, and I can't get rid of the image of him wrapping Rey's chest in the bandages. I still don't know his name. I swallow at the idea of being a part of their army, and look at the man across the room. "You have the skills for it, I heard you're a pretty good shot," my lips curls in a half smile and I shrug.

"I guess, I'd have to speak to the General..."

"Why don't you speak to her about being a part of the negotiation unit? They deal with wider disputes; less combat more reconciliation..." Starla mutters as she takes a bite from her fruit. I nod at the idea.

As I turn over the option in my mind I hear a small voice, "What about both?" The young girl with long dark hair slips into the conversation. I recognise her long hair, it takes a moment to place it; she was the one who dropped the tray this morning. Suddenly she looks up from where she had been placing lunch packs on the trays and I recognise her further, she is the girl who Rey laughed at for calling me Mr Finn. She turns her wary glance at me, obviously she is not sure if she was allowed to have a say.

"What do you mean?" I ask, kindly smiling at her and she straightens her slightly slumped shoulders.

"Why don't you train with the troops, but you work for the negotiation team?" I do not respond in words but I pull out the chair near me for her to sit in. She cautiously takes a step forward, and when I gesture to the vacant seat she approaches and quickly sits down, trying her best not to draw attention to herself.