Through the Darkness || Finn&Rey

Chapter 9

I enter the dining hall, and sit with Poe for a few minutes; he jokes about me taking all the young women back to my new room, to which I decline. A small piece of me is offended that he thinks I would do such a thing; I do not tell him the only girl I need is already asleep in my bed. I tell him I'm going to eat in my room tonight, as I stand I see Koden approaching, I nod slightly as I pass him. I glance to see that Poe's attention is directed to Koden; then I subtly take two trays and sneak from the hall.

I struggle to swipe the key card in the lock; eventually I'm able to quietly kick the door open enough for me to enter, closing it behind me with my foot.
Rey is sound asleep. She had rolled over facing the rest of the empty bed; I release a breath I didn't know I was holding after I place the trays on the desk.

"Rey..." I whisper, almost not wanting to disturb her. She immediately wakes up, pushing herself around to face the direction of the sound - to face me. Distrust and fear is written across her features. I step back, wondering how many times something had woken her on Jakku and she reacted like this; my shoulders slump as I imagine it.
Then I notice it, she is wearing my jacket. It hangs loosely on her body and she has zipped it all the way up, "Finn," she sighs and slips back under the covers, closing her eyes.

"Hey, I got you some dinner," her nose wrinkles and her eyes squeeze shut tighter.

"I'm not hungry," she mutters, pulling the jacket above her nose as she rolls over.

"Okay," I do not push her; I walk over to the small lamp and turn it on before sitting at the desk to eat the warm soup.

"Stop slurping," she groans, through the fabric of the jacket, I can help but laugh.

"Stop sleeping in my bed," I counter playfully, regretting the words as soon as I say them.

She doesn't react how I assumed, "No, I haven't slept in days..." she mumbles, I stop eating.

"Why?" I ask turn to face the bed.

"You know why..." I really don't,

"Because I kissed you?" my voice rises in pitch as I ask.

Her voice is quiet and muffled as she speaks into my jacket, "No, because I liked it," I then find myself on the floor at the edge of the bed.

"Is that why you're avoiding me?" I whisper, "Rey?" she stays silent for a moment.

"Partly," she mutters.

"Why else?" I query.

"You confuse me," I feel like she is keeping something from me, I sense it in the way she seems to shift uncomfortable. I furrow my brow.

"How, what do I do?" I ask quietly.

"I don't know how, I like being around you, but I don't like the way you make me feel," her words cut into my skin.

"How do I make you feel?" My voice in strained and breaks slightly at the end, she takes a moment for her to answer.

"Vulnerable," I let the word sink into the cuts she made, "like I don't have control." She adds before pulling my jacket all the way up and pulling the covers above her head.

"You make me feel confused-" I say loudly so she can hear through the layers she is under, "because one moment you hold me in your sleep and the next you ignore me," Rey rolls over to face me, pulling her face out from under my jacket.

"What do you prefer?" She asks quietly, looking into my eyes.

"Your arms around me..." I whisper.

"It scares me how much I like that too," her face is expressionless and she looks away from me. I stand up but she doesn't seem to notice.

I tip toe around the bed and carefully slip under the covers, the bed moves, so it's obvious she knows I'm on here too, I lay down close to her. She sucks in a sharp, surprised breath as I bring my arm across her body, to the top of her chest and slowly unzip my jacket. I then wrap my arm around her small waist, pulling her back against me. Unexpectedly she twists in my arm, and presses her head against my chest, her arms wrap underneath mine and she holds the back of my shoulders, I don't know if she is consciously aware how perfectly she is avoiding my scar. She sighs as I press my body closer to hers. I let her go for a moment, running my hand along the front of her body until I find the opening, I slip my hand under my jacket and wrap my arm around her waist, I run my large hand up and down the soft fabric of her thin shirt. The gentle motions soothing her, she begins to breathe deeper. I shift us down so I am lying flat on the bed, pulling her with me, her arms underneath me, one of her legs falls between mine; she is practically on top of me and the feeling is unlike anything I have experienced. It is a feeling of peace combined with an amazing burning heat that spreads through my body.
I wrap my other arm under my jacket holding her closer to me. After a few moments she takes her arms from underneath me where she must have been crushed from my weight. She slowly slides up my body until her head rests in the crook of my neck, she brings her left hand up my chest until she cups the back of my neck, I lean my head down and rest it against hers. I sigh intensely, sensually, and squeeze Rey a little tighter to me.

I wake what must be a few hours later, my arms sliding out from their place against Rey's back. she carefully sits upright, I watch her glow in the light from the lamp, she notices that I am awake,
"Sorry," She whispers, I watch her slowly remove my jacket and toss is carefully on the chair by the desk, "I was too hot," I nod, too tired to think. I close my eyes and open my arms, inviting her to slide back down against me. She does as I silently request, kissing my cheek before she nestles into my neck again. As I slip into sleep I hear her whisper again that she is sorry.