Through the Darkness || Finn&Rey

Chapter 36

I knock on the metal door and patiently await permission to enter entry, I hear a muffled "Come in," So I obey.
"Close the door behind you, please," The General sits at the head of the large table, her brother beside her. I gulp, staring at the stoic man, this being our first proper encounter. He has a large cut running down his cheek, and he stares at the side of my head where the large bruising bump protrudes through my skin. I glimpse out of the corner of my eye that The General gestures her hand to one side of the table, "Take a seat," She instructs; I am intimidated and feel my heart beat accelerate.

"Thank you," I politely respond in a husky tone. I sit on the opposite side to Luke, a few seats away from The General.

"Finn, I'm intrigued by you," He outstretches his hand.

"Likewise," I stand, extending the span of the table to shake it. "I've heard a lot about you," I admit, sitting back on the leather seat.

"And I you," He is quite standoffish. It is off-putting, but I suppose being alone for a few decades on a desolate island is bound to produce copious amounts antisocial tendencies.
"Rey speaks fondly of you, and you defended her valiantly on the island," His words are kind but his expression portrays an inner brooding.

"Thank you." I flicker my eyes down.

General Organa had stayed quite during our introduction but now has her head turned towards me.
"We have called you here to ask..." Her voice fades, she squints her eyes in an extremely curious way, "Are you... wet?" I look at my hands that are clasped together on the table.

"Yes, I apologise, I didn't have a chance to change," I say sincerely, embarrassment embedding itself under my skin. Luke and The General both glance at each other for a moment, as if knowing exactly what the other is thinking, but I don't quite understand.

"Did you bathe with your clothes on?" I think I hear a hint of humour in her voice.

"None ma'am, I found a lake-" I rub the back of my neck, not being able to finish my incomplete thought, "Then I informed by C3P0..." I trail off, the rest being self-explanatory.

"You went in the lake with all your clothes on." She states, not really asking so I nod affirmatively. The General sighs, and I'm not quite sure why.

"Okay, anyway, we were wondering if we could talk to you about what happened yesterday morning?" The emptiness inside me intensifies, and the numbness deepens. I rest my head in my hands. I can hear General Organa's seat roll on the concrete before she paces around the table and sits beside me; briefly placing her hand gently on my shoulder. "What happened, Finn?" There is something in her voice that indicates that she is already aware of what has occurred between Rey and I – yet she seems eager to hear it from me also. I contemplated not telling them because I do not want to witness their disappointment towards me grow; and I also do not want to discuss it.

"I'm sorry, I have already organised transport and-" she cuts me off.

"I know, Finn, We'll get to that later, first we'd like to know what happened, from your perspective," my eyebrows quiver slightly and I feel an unexpected nausea swell inside me.

"Truthfully, I do not know," I admit, "I know Kylo Ren was there," my voice lowers as I say his name before continuing, "And I did some things that are unforgivable..." I try to keep my eyes open, and focus on the General; knowing if I was to close them or blink even more a moment I'd see her face again.

"It is just the three of us in this room, Finn, you can tell us anything," I flicker my eyes between my two superiors, the very ones I heard so many stories about. I take a breath, and tell them what I remember, which is fragmented and hard to follow. Occasionally I have to reiterate that I don't know how much of what I can recall is even real.

"Okay," Is General Organa's only response.
I glance over to Luke who has a faraway look in his eyes and I wonder if he had listened to anything that I had said.

"Why did you let Kylo Ren in?" Luke asks coldly, and my brow creases in confusion. Why did I let him in the room? I specifically remember not giving him permission to enter.

"Luke." The General's tone is firm. I feel like a child. General Organa speaks before I have a chance to contemplate his question.

"Why do you want to leave? Dameron asked if he could escort you off the planet," I avert my gaze from her, and look down upon the table.

"I cannot stay, not after what I did to Rey,"

I fade in and out of reality my mind wandering to what happened in the room often blocking most of The General's explanation. "He manipulated you," She says kindly. I watch as she turns her attention to Luke, even though she still addresses me, "He used the Force to control you..." The General says with an intense, scolding gaze. She glances back to me and looks at me with sad eyes, "What he made you do was not your fault, you shouldn't feel guilty," I nod, even though I had not absorbed all of what she had said. I slip deeper into my own mind. Luke's question gnaws at me, I know how easy it is for a Jedi to manipulate a Stormtrooper; a discreet wave of the hand has one of them following any order. But I did not think I was that weak minded.

"How did he do it?" I mumble, turning my full attention to Luke, "How is it that he was able to get inside my head?" I demand, he stares back at me with an emotionless expression.

"He is powerful, Finn, anyone could fall victim to him," The response comes from beside me. I am unsure if The General is being genuine or if she pities me. Either way it does not make me feel reassured, more so flustered.

That feeling grows with Luke's response, "Leia." he uses the same scolding tone that his sister had used previously, "He deserves to know the truth, don't treat him like a child." Silence encompasses us and I feel myself longing to know what he is referring to.

"What aren't you telling me?" I ask when I can no longer take the silence. I glance briefly towards General Organa before staring at Luke directly in the eyes.

"Leia might have been right when she said Kylo Ren is manipulative, because he knows exactly how to get his way..." His response lacks substance and I blink slowly, my forehead aching from my tightly furrowed brow.

"I don't understand," I admit, searching his stoic face for clues, but he gives none away, stating silent.

"Kylo Ren never wanted you to kill Rey," I immediately turn my gaze towards The General.
That cannot be true, it doesn't add up. Nevertheless, I do not get the chance to ask what she means. Nor am I able to find out how Kylo got out of his prison, or ask what has happened to him now because we are interrupted by a knock on the metal door.

A young man is revealed once he is granted permission to enter, "Sorry to intrude, General," he says humbly. Wearing the officers' uniform he is pardoned and asked to state his business.
"General, your assistance is required immediately. There has been a pressing issue that needs your attention," He bows his head slightly towards her before leaving the room.

I focus my attention on The General, as she rises from the table. As if forgetting what we were talking about she holds my gaze and says: "You will always have a place with the resistance, Finn. You'll find it one day." I continue to look up without a word, remaining quietly seated. as she leaves the conference room. I am unsure if she is refusing to let me leave, or if she is foretelling that I will return.
However, I do not dwell on her parting words; my mind revolves only around what she disclosed.
I turn back to Luke, but somehow he has already disappeared down the hallway.