Meant to be ~ Book One Of The "Meant To Be" Series

Chapter 50

I let out a loud sob as I sit in Tobias' car. He left me the keys so he went back home walking. Me and Tobias met in this car for the first time when he drove me from LA to Chicago. I keep sobbing as the lights of the car turn on because of the opened door. I look at myself in the mirror and I look like a mess. My mascara and eyeliner is smudged on my cheeks. The beautiful silky brushed curls that were in my hair before I left the house are replaced with soaking wet and tangled fur. The rose pink dress is wet and I keep shivering from the cold. My sobbing continues as I start the car and drive home. I wipe my tears with my palm which makes my makeup worse.
  Its a long, rainy, stormy and sob full ride home. When I arrive I park the car in front Tobias' house. I get out of the car and take the keys. I knock on his front house door. He opens the door slowly. I hand him the keys and he just takes them. He stares at me, dead in the eye. I blubber and sob.
   "I-I am so" I stutter. "So sorry" he hands me over a jacket and slams the door in front of my face. I wipe my tears, but they are fast replaced by new ones as I put on Tobias' jacket. Its his football jacked, his 'jock' jacket. I slowly start walking home and I open the door with my keys.
   "Beatrice?" I hear my moms voice from the kitchen. "Is that you? Why are you here so early?" She asks joyfully as she walks closer to the front door. Her smile disappears when she sees me. I sniffle and run to my room bubbling. She doesn't follow, she knows I would just kick her out of my room. While on my way upstairs Caleb and dad see me–a wet, broken messy piece of garbage. I run up the stairs and close the door behind me fast, locking it. I sit on the ground, leaning my back on the door as I wrap my arms around my knees and cry in them. Never in my life have I cried more. My mouth keeps letting out screams and squeals that Im not aware of. My heart aches and my throat gets sore from my sobs. The tears burn my ice cold face and I shiver. I take off my heels and throw them in the other part of the room screaming. I stand up and take the water out of my hair with my hands. I look in the mirror and see the smudged eyeliner and mascara. I take a wipe and harshly clean the makeup, so harsh I leave red marks on my face afterwards. I take off the dress, but carefully, trying not to ruin it more than it is. I lay it on the bed and wear a nightgown that Tobias bought me when we went shopping. I take the dress and place it carefully on the dresser so it's doesn't get wrinkles and so it can dry off. First I feel like I want to rip the necklace off my neck, but then I know I will regret it. I kneel to the ground. Still crying. Still sobbing. I blob my head up and look at Tobias' room from the window. The lights are on but the curtains cover his room. I sit on my dresser and search for it. Its somewhere hidden in the drawers. I hid it so Tobias wouldn't find it, thought I didn't think I would need it again, but unfortunately . . . I do. I smash things on the ground until I find it. The razor blade. Its filled with my dried blood. I pull up my gown sleeve and push it roughly on my arm. I have never been so rough like this. Blood has never come out so fast. After a few seconds I need to stop. The whole table is filled with blood and Im starting to worry if I die from blood loss. . . Which in fact, I don't care. All though I know when to stop, so I do. I go to the bathroom and stare at myself in the mirror. I look so different, so broken. I wash my hand. It stings so badly and I let out a few screams. After there is no blood in my arm I take a towel and place it on my hand, then tie it so it'll stay there. I take a few napkins and wipe off the blood from the table.
  This while problem is because of Eric. Because of that cowardly cow. I pick up my phone and dial his number. After a few beeps he answers.
   "What a pleasant surprise" he says calmly.
   "Kill me" I say fast. "I don't fucking care anymore! Just kill me and get over with it! Tell everyone it was a suicide or whatever the fuck you want, just do it. I can't get you the money, not that fast. Don't hurt my family. Kill me, get everything that belongs to me and just get fucking away with it!" He pauses, we both do. He seems surprised by it all. Its like he has no idea what happened. Now I get it. My phone! He installed the camera on my phone! He has been spying me through my phone. I can hear his breaths through the phone.
   "What the hell happened?" He demands.
   "Tobias broke up with me! Is that what you wanted? There! Now you have it! He left me, because of you" I say. At first he stays silent, but after a while he bursts out laughing. I don't question him though. He has a low disgusting laugh that makes me want to vomit.
   "It was that easy?" He asks. "Well I guess the job is over baby girl" he says and hangs up. Beeps take over the phone and I just sit there trying to process the information that I don't get. This is what Eric wanted. He just wanted us to break up. He just wanted us to be separated, broken, dead inside. And he got what he wanted. I was too worried about my family, I didn't even realize that he didn't have the guts to hurt them. Its all my fault. I should of been smarter. I drop the phone and lay on the bed. I stare at the ceiling as the same questions fly around my mind. I hate the world for making everything harder. I hate humanity for being paranoid. I hate Tobias for leaving me. But mostly, I hate myself, for being stupid.