Meant to be ~ Book One Of The "Meant To Be" Series

Chapter 35

(Guys, Im sorry because; My time management always sucks 😂 so we are back in time in this fanfiction because I kept forgetting that New Year was coming and I forgot to write about Christmas and New Year I am so so so sorry! But don't worry because the New Year chapters will be up soon!😅 So in the fanfiction its still 2015. Sorry😞)

  "Bye" I wave at my family as they drive away to LA. My father didn't get the job so they had to go back home. They were more relieved that I have Mason by my side now because they know he will take care of me. As for my aunt, she will be coming back from Europe in 2016. Today the day before New Years Eve. Me and Mason went grocery shopping and today we are going to cook all day. I don't really enjoy cooking but maybe doing it with Mason will be fun. He puts his arm around my waist as he kisses the top of my head and pulls me closer to him.
   "Shall we?" He says jokingly with a horrible British accent.
   "We shall" I say, in the same accent and we laugh going inside the house.
   "Lets make the apple pie first!" He says exited.
   "Okay, lets do that first" I say and get the ingredients. Me and Tobias never did these kinds of things together. We never cooked together, cleaned my house together and usual house stuff. We would go out have lunch and just spend time laying in my bed, having random conversations. He never had to ask me what I like or don't like, he always knew and if he didn't, he would figure it out somehow.
  Every time I look at Mason, I see fear in his eyes. Fear of losing me. Fear of thinking that he isn't good enough. Fear that I still love Tobias more than I love him. He knows I still love Tobias, he does know, it's obvious.
  I start making the pie and I feel his strong arms wrap around my waist and my stomach as he buries his face in my neck breathing slowly. He places soft and tender kisses on my neck. I dust off the flower in my hands on the counter and turn to him. I wrap my arms around his neck as I stare at him. He avoids my eyes and stares at the ground.
   "What's wrong?" I ask. He closes his eyes and shaking his head. He manages to put on a smile but I know its fake.
   "Nothing" he says.
   "Mason" I say placing my hand on the side of his face, lifting his head up so he can look at me "What's wrong?" He sighs and pulls back. He covers his face with his hands and takes a few steps back.
   "Im sorry" he says, his voice cracks.
   "For what?" I ask coming closer.
   "For not being like him" he says and I see tears building up in his eyes "Im sorry. Tris, I really really like you b-but... I can see it in your eyes. Every time you look at me, I can see that you wish I was Four. I know you still love him, and Im trying my best to be the perfect guy for you. I love you and I am just afraid of you being hurt again and-" I go over and pull him in my embrace hushing him. He hugs me back and cries in my shoulder.
   "Mason" I start off "I do not like Four anymore" lies. "I like you and only you" lies. "I love you more than anything and I love you just the way you are, so don't say any of that. Four is in the past now" lies! They are all lies! Lies that I tell my family! Lies that I tell Mason! Lies that I tell myself! But they are not much more than lies! Just big pretty comforting lies! I will never be over Tobias. He was the only one that understood me! The only one who knew who I really was!
   Its true that I like Mason, but I don't love him. It hurts to just think that but its the truth. No one can replace Tobias, ever. No one will ever understand me like he did. I want him and only him.
   "Why do you keep lying Tris?!" He starts to raise his voice "Why do you keep comforting me with lies! Why won't you just admit it? Huh? I know you still love him! What does he have more than me? What can I do to make you love me like you love him? Why won't you just-"
   "Fine Mason! I still love him! Is that what you want to hear? He is what I think about when I wake up in the morning! He is what I think about when I go to sleep! There is nothing I can do! I am sorry Mason! You are one of the best guys I have ever met! You are even better and nicer than Four, but the heart wants what it wants!" I yell crying. He tries to blink his tears away but one streams down his face. "You deserve much better Mason! I am just a-a spoiled brat! Four is an idiot and I don't know why I still have feelings for him!" I kneel to the ground sobbing "But I don't want you to leave me! Not like he did! I want you to be here, by my side. Humming me to sleep! Telling me I am beautiful even though Im not! Hugging me and telling me I am everything you have dreamed for! Saying that you would do anything for me! I don't want this to be over! Because with you I feel safe again!" I say. He sits next to me as he wraps his arms around me, placing my head on his chest as he strokes my hair and shushes me. He pulls back a little and wipes my tears staring at my eyes. He presses his lips between my eyebrows and then on my lips. His lips against mine calm me down. He carries my small body to my room and tuck me in bed. I open my eyes a little and see that he wants to leave.
  "Wait" I say and he turns to me. His eyes are puffy and bloodshot but he still manages to place a smile on his face.
  "Yes?"
  "Can you stay with me?" I ask and he nods. He slowly walks and slides in bed with me. I place my head on his chest as he strokes my hair and kisses the top of my head every one in a while.