Meant to be ~ Book One Of The "Meant To Be" Series

Chapter 43

I scream and pull my hair as I wake up from a terrible nightmare. I hear Tobias hushing and wrapping his arms around me. I gasp for air as I feel the burning tears fill up in my eyes. My hands are on Tobias' chest and his arms are around my back holding me tight as he whispers to calm down.
   In my nightmare I saw Mason. He was being tortured but there was nothing I could do. He kept groaning and screaming in pain as I tried to help him. He breathed heavily as his eyes curled backwards.
"You did this to me" he said in his last breath and stopped breathing. I checked his pulse and he was dead. His beautiful brown eyes, still open, looking right back at me with love, hate and shame.
   "It was just a nightmare. Its okay, Im here" He comforts me as he strokes my hair. I let out a high pitched voice as I cover my face with my hands and let my tears stream down my face. I sob as flashes of last night's conversation with Mason's mother come to my mind. Mason is gone, and its all my fault. If I hadn't lose my temper and throw pillows to the fucking fireplace he would still be alive. One of the persons I loved the most, was afraid of hurting him, wanted the best of the best for him, is now dead...gone, forever.
   "Its all my fault" I whisper near Tobias' chest crying. He shakes his head.
   "It is not your fault" he says "If he hadn't sacrifice himself, you wouldn't be here now"
   "But thats what I want Tobias! I can't take it anymore! I am tired of living this fucked up life where everyone hates me! I am tired of people sacrificing themselves for me- a depressed immature teenager that os tired of living!" I yell crying "I just want all the pain to be over. I want to be over" I say more quietly as Tobias pulls me in his arms again. He doesn't say anything for a while. He just holds me in his strong arms stroking my hair with a worried look on his face.
   "Please don't say that" He speaks up "Please" He rests his chin on the top of my head. "Tris, you are more than you think. You are... Perfect. I love you so, so much. I can't even imagine how life would be without you. Never leave me, please. Do this one thing for me. I promise it will get better, I will help you through everything, I will do anything. Just please, hold on a little longer. Please, do this one thing for me" He whispers and I slowly nod. "Promise?" He asks quietly as he pulls back to look at me and I nod again. "Promise me" he says.
   "I promise" I say. Though, I don't know if I really mean it. Am I strong enough to face all the problems in my life? No. No. No.
His eyes are filled with hope and happiness, but in the same time he looks worried and concerned. He know me better. He knows I wont be able to handle anything anymore but he doesn't say a word. He just pulls me into his embrace again as we enjoy the silence and the company and existence of each other.
   "Thank you" He says after a while. I furrow my eyebrows a little as I, confused at why he is thanking me. Is it because I promised I wouldn't do anything stupid? Because he can trust me? I honestly do not know.
   "For what?" I ask lifting mu head up to look at him. His lips curl into a little smile that is hardly visible, but I know its there and he answers.
  "Everything" and he kissed the top of my head. Everything? All I did was ruin and break him, make him feel miserable. I still don't get why he is thanking me because I am the biggest problem to the people I love the most. But for once, I feel the urge to ask.
"Tobias?" I whisper.
"Mhm?" He hums quietly. I take a deep breath.
"Why do you hold on?" I ask as I pull back to look at him.
"On what?" He asks confused and furrows his eyebrows.
"On me" I say. "All I have done is bring sadness and worries to your life and to everyone around me. The others gradually left, but why do still hold on on me? I am not worth the pain"
"Don't say that" he says and brings his hand to the side of my face. "I love you more than anything in this world. You have never brought sadness to my life or any of that. Stop underrating yourself. You are strong, just hold on a little longer and everything will be okay again"
"But Im tired of fighting" I whisper. "I can't do it anymore" My eyes start filling with tears as my quiet voice breaks from the crying that will be happening in the next few seconds. He sighs and takes my head in his hands.
"Ill help you through everything, just please, don't do anything stupid" he says and presses his lips to mine.

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A/N
The story will get better and you guys will be getting more fourtris so don't worry.
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