Catch 22

I love you

Luke was thankful Ben was out with friends still and Jack and his Dad were both in bed when he and Ashton arrived.

"Come on I'll show you to my room." Luke said as Ashton followed silently behind the blonde.

"Are you hungry or thirsty?" Luke asked once they were in his room.

Ashton shook his head as he took in his surroundings. Luke was rather messy but it was cozy. He had a small couch at the end of his bed in front of his tv. There were pillows and blanket scattered across the couch. His desk sat on the opposite wall in front of a window. It was littered with papers and old soda bottles.

"Sorry about the mess." Luke bit his lip noticing Ashton looking around.

"It's nice in here." Ashton said not looking at Luke. He was still taking in the sight.

"Not nearly as nice as yours." Luke disagreed.

"Yours is more comfortable." Ashton gave a small smile as his eyes finally landed on Luke.

"I'm glad you think so." Luke shrugged.

"Make yourself at home. If you want to shower I can get you a towel and some clothes."

"Thanks, I'm okay right now though." Ashton answered taking a seat on Luke's computer chair.

"Ash, I wanted to apologize for going out with Zayn." Luke sighed.

"I was upset with you for breaking up with me and I made a snap decision. Then we talked and agreed we just weren't meant to date. I kissed him, yes, but honestly I was just tired of missing you. You were on my mind all night. It was killing me. I was hoping that kiss would distract me from you but it only made me wish it was you and then you were there and-"

Ashton placed a hand on Luke's knee interrupting him.

"It's okay, I shouldn't have broken up with you."

"I know why you did it. I just wish you would have told me sooner." Luke sighed.

"I didn't want you to find out. Ever. I was hoping Zayn wouldn't tell you." Ashton pursed his lips.

"Ashton, I had to know. This isn't okay. That was private and he used it against you, against us." Luke shook his head vigorously.

"I wanted to fix this on my own. I almost told my mother I was gay today after Calum left. But I couldn't do it. I almost broke down into tears in front of her. That would have opened a whole other can of something I didn't want to get into." Ashton sighed leaning back in the chair and closing his eyes.

"Ash, I'm so sorry. I can't imagine what you're going through." It was Luke's turn to put a hand on Ashton's knee.

Ashton looked at Luke. Luke slowly pulled his hand away.

"Luke, I have something I need to tell you." Ashton said very seriously all of a sudden.

"O-okay?" Luke bit his lip ring nervously.

"I think...I think I'm in love with you." Ashton said not looking away from Luke.

Luke felt his jaw drop a bit. He shook his head.

"You can't.... possibly..." Luke was at a loss for words.

"I know it seems sudden and I don't expect you to say it back. I just wanted you to know." Ashton said hurriedly.

"Ashton, we've not ever really dated how can you possibly..." Luke let his sentence trail off, unable to repeat Ashton's words.

"Because, I don't have to date you to know that I love you. You're an amazing person. You're down to earth despite the fact that you are a Hemmings. You are understanding and you seem to genuinely care about me and how I feel. You're kind enough to help others." Ashton smiled at Luke.