Catch 22

Lou's game

Luke nodded and averted his gaze.

"I-I want to apologize, for the last time we talked. I was out of line." Ashton sighed.

Luke looked up meeting Ashton's eyes again but said nothing.

"I'm sorry. I'm also sorry for all the dumb things I said. You know I didn't mean any of them. I was just upset. I know it doesn't excuse it and I should have apologized sooner." Ashton kept his eyes focused on Luke's.

"I'm sorry too." Luke said biting his lip.

"C-can I...Can I sit?"Ashton hesitated.

"Ash..." Luke sighed. Ashton had missed hearing Luke call him Ash.

"Please, just for a minute." Ashton looked at Luke with pleading eyes.

Luke nodded sliding over a bit to make room for Ashton on the end.

"I've missed you." Ashton said in a whisper. Luke closed his eyes tightly.

"Ashton...please." Luke begged in a quiet voice.

"I know, but it's true. I've hated being away from you." Ashton knew he shouldn't be saying these things but he couldn't help it.

"I've missed you too." Luke sighed not looking at Ashton.

Ashton felt a small smile pull at his lips.

The two of them sat in silence for a few minutes. Luke was chewing on his lip nervously.

"Ash, I-" Luke stopped himself he didn't know how to say what he wanted to say.

"You what?" Ashton urged.

"I wish things had played out differently for you and I." Luke said finally.

"I wish you and I were together...but I guess that's the story of another us." Luke sighed.

"We could be." Ashton said his voice barely audible.

"Ashton, we have long term plans with short term fixes that's not going to help us. You aren't comfortable coming out yet and I can't push that on you, but I also can't wait for something that may never happen." Luke shook his head.

"There's not a life I want to live without you in it." Ashton frowned.

"Can't we at least be friends again?" Ashton asked feeling a sinking feeling in his stomach.

"We tried that already." Luke shook his head again.

"But I-" Ashton stopped himself. He couldn't make the words form in his mouth. He didn't know what to say. He couldn't lose Luke forever.

"I can't avoid you forever." Ashton fought to keep his composure.

"Just for now." Luke shrugged.

"We have two more years of school. After that we never have to worry about seeing each other again." Luke swallowed hard. It wasn't easy to say these things.

"I can't avoid you for two years Luke and I don't want to never see you again, besides my best friend and your best friend are dating. We can't keep doing this." Ashton shook his head vigorously.

"Then what do you suppose we do?" Luke huffed.

"Be with me." Ashton said suddenly.

"Ashton." Luke groaned.

"Please, give us a chance. Once we think this is going to work I'll consider telling my mom. Please just at least give us a chance to make sure this is what we want. We don't have to tell anybody or we can tell Mikey and Cal. Please." Ashton felt his pulse race as he waited for Luke's answer.