Beautiful Scars (A Jack Barakat Fanfic)

28). Sometimes Being Okay Is All We Need

*A/N* My new Jalex fanfic  Love Sucks is published if anyone wants to check it out.

Pushing down the nauseous feeling in my stomach, I imagine a meadow. It seems dumb to say it, but it's my happy place. A lot of people want to leave rehab but I don't, it scares me. Outside the walls of this waiting room, I have nothing, no career, or hobbies. All my old friends have finished high school and gone.

I never got to sit my exams, I'll be lucky to work in the supermarket. Then again, I'm not sure anyone wants to hire someone with 'suicidal tendencies'. I don't think anyone would hire me. I told Doctor Harper this but she promised that people would, apparently Nick got a job when he left. It seems wrong to be breaking up our little group of merry misfits, I'll miss them. Who knew you could find friends in that hell hole? They're still never be the same as Ja...

Picturing the meadow again I give a smile to Rosanna, the receptionist, as I wait. I need to be a better person, the old Nora is gone, I'm a new person. The depression isn't gone and I have to be careful with my meds but I can start again.

"Nora? You look like your about to pass out." A familiar voice laughs, not someone who I expected to pick me up.

"Why are you here?"

"Well Ben is still trying to battle with the vending machine outside..." Gareth trails over, sticking a hand in his pocket. It's been almost over a year since I've seen that idiot. Ben didn't even bother saying they were back together. "So how are you? I'm not family so we have to wait for Ben to sign you out." He trailed off, sticking his hands into the depths of his skinny jeans.

"Gareth, I've been in a mental hospital for over a year now."

"Okay, I get it 'how are you?' was a dumb question." He continues, before Ben appears, grinning, holding up a packet of vending machine cookies.

"How are you?" He asks me, still smiling and Gareth beside him sighs.

"Can we just go?" I ask, moving my bags that were sitting on the floor with my foot. Those bags being my entire lively hood.

"You know for someone getting out of rehab you're grumpy." Ben inquires before going up to Rossana to sign me out. It was weird to think; I'm going to miss the ugly pea green walls of this place. I promised to visit all my friends here, yesterday when we had a small leaving party in the rec room.

"I'm fine." I lie, picking up my bags. The urge to die was less now, but I got told that occasionally I would still have waves of depression. The thought of me trying to die again was scary, especially out where I wasn't monitored as much.

"Gareth, do you want to take her to the car? While I continue, with this paper work shit." Ben continued, throwing his keys in Gareth's direction.

"Sure." he mumbled, before leading me out into the big old world.

"So where are we going?" I ask, sitting in the back of Ben's new car. It was obvious that we weren't going back to my parents' house, I had known for quite some time that they had sold it.

"My apartment. We managed to move all your stuff from your old house into the spare room. Your parents have given both you and Ben a lot of money, I think it's their way of apologizing?"

"And what do you know of Ruby?" I asked, watching Gareth tap his black painted nails against the window to the tune of something.

"I don't know? Her and Ben don't talk, last I heard she broke probation. No offense but your sister isn't a good person, at all." He continued, turning around in the driver's seat and throwing something at me.

"Chocolate."

"I'm back." Ben announced, sliding into the passenger seat while I destroyed the chocolate.