Beautiful Scars (A Jack Barakat Fanfic)

11). Drugs Don't End Pain (Trigger Warning)

*A/N* I am so sorry that I haven't updated this in ages, I've just had the biggest writers block on this story. Also this chapter involves self harm, so please read at your own risk.

Everything sucks, and I find myself hating life as each day goes by. I'm suck in this routine that I have no control over, 182 days of the year have gone by in a blink. Jack would have been proud of that reference but he isn't here, he's always practicing. I'm starting to think he's trying to get away from me, but I don't blame him.

Sighing, I rub my eyes before leaning back on my bed. I needed to go see Pete soon, the tiny bag of pills I bought from him were running out. I don't know why I've become reliant on drugs for my happiness, I just don't feel the same without them. I'm afraid that everyone just likes the high version of me, even teachers say I'm more positive.

Hearing the familiar text sound of my phone, I sit up staring around my dark room in a daze searching for it. I've been lying on the floor for a couple hours now, it's a nice way to spend the weekend, alone and crying. Groaning, I grip the phone in one hand while wiping the tears away with the other.

Not A Drug Dealer (PETE);

Nora, can we talk?

Frowning, I stare down at the message. I know it's serious by Pete's lack of emojis, and he actually used a comma.

"Yeah, what's up? And where do u wanna meet?" I type back, hoping Pete's got more 'supplies' for me.

Not A Drug Dealer (PETE);

I'll tell u when u get there and meet me at Rowan bridge.

Standing up, I stare down at my pajamas knowing that I'm going to have to change. Grabbing the first shirt on my floor, I pull it on before texting back Pete. "Meet in 20."

Throwing on whatever I could find. I didn't want to go out today, so I looked like trash walking down the stairs and not bothering to say goodbye. I grabbed my backpack, slinging it over one shoulder as I walked out the door. Maybe I should have at least fixed my appearance but recently I lack any motivation to do anything

Walking down the road, I slumped my shoulders, making myself as small as possible. I wanted to disappear when I felt the scorn of the neighbor piercing into my back. I didn't blame them for despising me, I hated myself too, I always said the wrong things and looked like wrong way. Taking longer strides, I just wanted to leave away from everyone judgment.

"Nora." Pete acknowledge, as I approached him standing on the bridge. Pete looked like his normal dark shady self, only their was something off about the way he was standing. Pete stood beside the bridge, near the massive dick tagged on the bridges support beam. Everything about him was off, like he didn't want to be their.

"Pete." I replied nearing him and wondering why out of all places he chose to stand right beside the dick.

"Want a cigarette?" He offers, holding out his packet.

"Thanks dude." I mumble, gratefully taking it and leaning against the bridge beside him.

"So, Nora you and Jack..?" Pete asks, his cigarette lazily resting in the corner of his mouth.

"We haven't fucked." I admitted, blowing out a cloud of smoke.

"Well that makes this less awkward."

"Pete cut the crap. Why am I here?" I ask, getting aggravated that he asked me out here just to chat.

"I'm going to have to cut the drug supply." Pete interjects, causing me to almost drop the cigarette out of my mouth.