Beautiful Scars (A Jack Barakat Fanfic)

25). I'm Sorry, I Love You.

"Alex." I sigh, finding my best friend sitting beside a grave.

"Oh, hey dude." He weakly replied, leaning against the gravestone, and staring at the dirt. His light brown hair covering his eyes, as he sat quietly among the graves.

"Back here again? Your mom gets worried, she called asking me to find you. Ever since...Nora, she's been on edge." I continue, couching down on the grass beside him, careful not to knock over the flowers.

"You haven't seen her since that night, have you?" Alex questioned, as he stared up at me, his eyes red and puffy. Any other time I would have thought he was high.

"Nope." I admitted, standing back up and brushing the dirt of my jeans. Offering Alex a hand I up, I asked. "So who's grave are you at today?"

"Some girl named Beatrice." He tells me, as I pull him onto his feet.

"Why do you even like it here?" I question, stretching my arms out and yawning.

"It makes me feel closer to him."

"Oh." I say, pausing for a moment and staring at Alex. "This must have made it worse." Everyone was always asking me if I was okay, but nobody thought to ask Alex.

"Jack?"

"Yeah." I mumbled, as he started walking out of the graveyard. I wasn't sure where we were both going but it didn't matter. I think we should all go back and practice. Music might take our minds off it.

"Why haven't you visited her? Rian, and Zack have. So has Josh and his crew, I have, and Ben won't leave her side. Yet you haven't gone, hell, even your parents have gone." He continued, kicking a pebble with his shoe.

"I'm not allowed too. Ben's scared, he thinks I'm the reason she tried to k-k-kill herself." I stuttered, pushing away the tears that threatened to fall.

"That's fucking bullshit! She wants to see you, you're the only reason she's still alive. Jack she fucking loves you." Alex ranted, as we walked. He was earning a few stares from people but we both didn't give a shit.

"Then why didn't she ever tell me?" I snap back, not even knowing the words were there.

"Some words don't need to be spoken?" Alex shrugged, before remembering that maybe he should call his mom before she worried.

But those words were the only ones that needed to be said

Maybe I shouldn't even try visit her, I need to stop being her medicine. Nora can survive on her own without me, she doesn't need me. Watching Alex talk to his mom on the phone, I pushed back all thoughts of Nora. Alex, Rian, and Zack were my friends and I should start being better for them.

"So Jack what do you want to do." Alex asked, stuffing his phone back into his pockets.

"Get drunk, although I don't think I can ever see another bottle of Vodka in my life."

"I don't think that getting wasted is the solution." He laughs.

"Let's go practice, I just need to get my mind off things." I continue, my voice quieter than normal. We're acting like everything's okay, but it isn't. Everyone is quieter now, the silence filling every room. My family, my friends, everyone doesn't know what to do. It's like they're treating the situation as if Nora died, but then again she has died.

Nora's dead.

I don't think I'll ever see her again, I don't know if I want to. She wont be the same person, hooked up to tubes in a hospital bed as they trying keeping her alive.