Conflicted

➸thirty-six

"I understand you're upset but—"

"You don't understand. She was in a coma for two months. Two months that we'll never get back." I cut her off. Skylar watched the two of us, frowning. "Please just let her rest. You can try again tomorrow."

"I can't leave her now."

"Zayn, please, come." Lia said, grabbing my hand. I sighed in defeat and stood up, walking closer to Sky. She focused on my every move. "I love you. I'll be back to see you tomorrow." I sniffled, grabbing her hand.

She exhaled, and the nurse stood at the door, waiting for me to leave the room. I couldn't look back because it would only break my heart more. "Everything's going to be okay." Lia said, rubbing circles into my back.

"I can't lose her again."

"You won't. Just give it some time." She said, swiping the pads of her thumbs under my eyes.

I've cried before, but it's never been like this. All I could think about was the way she reacted. It was as if I've lost her all over again.

—

One week.

The first four days I went to visit her every day, but it was the same as before. She doesn't remember me. She doesn't remember anything from the past year.

I contemplated on going the fifth day, but I decided it was best if I didn't. It's not like she will react any different.

The sixth day I went to the hospital, I watched her talk to her brother and Lia. It felt good to see her smiling, I just wish I could have been the reason for it.

I sat in my office, downing another bottle of alcohol. I stopped counting after the tenth bottle. This was the only thing helping. I spent the past few hours drowning my sorrows in alcohol. I wasn't used to this feeling. I've never felt so much in my life.

Having not been in a relationship before Skylar made everything hurt more. The one person I let in, and it's all coming back to hurt me in the end. It is my fault that she's in this situation and I'd give anything for it to be me in her shoes, but that's not the case.

I laughed to myself, opening another bottle, taking a swig. The doorbell rang, the loud noise ringing in my ears. I eventually made my way to it, tripping along the way. I opened the door, seeing the last person I would have expected it to be.

Skylar's Pov

I took a deep breath before ringing the doorbell. Everything about this place seemed so familiar, but the memories were not there. To say Zayn's house was big would be an understatement. It's huge. The house was a mini castle. "It'll be okay." Lia said, squeezing my hand.

Everyone has been telling me this Zayn person is my boyfriend, but I'm pretty sure I've never met him before. They told me that he paid for my treatments and that he's rich. That really makes me question how we got together. The door swung open and he stood there, eyes bloodshot, a bottle in hand. His eyes went wide when they met mine and he closed the door.

Lia opened it, gesturing for me to go first. I shook my head and she stepped inside, me following. "Zayn." She called out. "I don't want her to see me like this." He slurred from afar. His accent was thicker than I remember from the hospital.

"Just go to your room, I'll talk to him."

"Um, where is that?" I asked.

"Oh right, sorry." She smiled, heading down a long, dark hallway. I followed behind her, towards the light at the end of the hallway. She allowed me to walk inside first and I gasped. "Is any of it coming back to you?" Lia asked.

"No." I answered truthfully.

She walked towards a door across the room and tapped on it three times. "I'm coming in."

I watched her open the door and take a step inside, shutting it gently behind her. I looked around, admiring the graffiti covered walls, walking into the giant closet. I noticed a lot of my stuff hanging up, as well as some pretty expensive dresses and shoes.

I took a seat on the floor, squeezing my eyes shut. If all of this true, why can't I remember.

"I thought I'd find you here."

I looked up at Lia who stood in the doorway. "How is he?" I asked.

"He'll be okay. He's just taken this a lot harder than I thought. He's always so nonchalant. Who knew Zayn Malik was human and actually had feelings." She snickered. Zayn Malik.

"Wait, what's his last name?"

"Malik."

"As in the people who sign our paychecks?" I asked in shock.

"We haven't worked at Cave Castle in almost a year. I work for Zayn, and you used to work for another company but there was an altercation, so Zayn's been trying to get you to work for him."

"Wow. That's crazy."

"It's funny, you two despised each other so much before." She laughed.

"But we're dating?" I asked.

"Yes. Now I have to get going, I'll come to see you first thing in the morning."

"W-wait, you're leaving me here?" I gulped.

"You live here. He won't hurt you." She said reassuringly.

Part of me didn't believe her but the other part wanted to believe her.

"Why can't I just come stay at our place?" I whined.

"You don't live there anymore. Some of your stuff is still there but for the most part, your belongings are here."

I really don't want to stay here tonight. Even if Zayn and I are dating, I don't remember him and I don't feel comfortable staying with someone I don't know.

I stood up and followed her to the main part of the house. "You'll be fine I promise. He does have a bad temper. Don't upset him." She said, hugging me.

I closed the door behind her taking a deep breath. This is going to be a long night. I slowly walked back to the room, coming face to face with him.

"Can I get you anything?" He asked. I shook my head no, avoiding eye contact. "Oh, this is yours." He told me, grabbing something off the table and walking towards me. He handed me my phone and I smiled in appreciation.

"I'm going to my office, if you need me it's on the opposite side of the house, second door on the left."

"Okay."

Our eyes met, and we both stared at one another until he directed his attention towards the floor. I watched him leave and I felt slightly bad. I didn't mean to kick him out of his room. His room was bigger than it should have been. His king size bed was centered between two windows and a massive flat screen television was across the room, facing the bed.

I sat down on the bed, melting. It was extremely soft and I felt like I could lay here and never move again. I sighed, smiling to myself. I felt at home.

A/N: ALL I CAN SAY IS I AM SO SORRY AND I'VE MISSED WRITING SO MUCH