Assassin's love ||RusAme||CountryHumans||

Mixed feeling's

《Russia's POV》

After America walks away I walk to my car, I get in and drive home. How could he like me? No. That's not what im supposed to ask, How could he kill Father? I sigh and continue driving, Should I kill America? Yes, he killed dad! But he didn't know at the time. So? Maybe he wouldn't have done it. He killed one of his friends, you really think him being my dad would change anything? He said he loved you, so yes, it would change America's mind. Well it's too late now. Do you hate him? Yes. Are you sure? Yes. Think about him, his smile, his laugh, you like none of it? I hate him, of course I don't like any of it. I don't think you hate him. You're me, and if I say I hate him then I hate him. Think about every moment you had with him, none of it was pleasant? None of it. Okay then, sit in a pool of your own rejection but you don't hate him, just think about it more.

Why am I arguing with myself? I obviously hate America and that's the end of it. But do I hate him? Why would I not hate him? I mean his laugh is cute, his smile is aswell. The way he got so exited over a simple ice cream, No. Stop thinking about him! You hate him and that's the end of it!

I arrive home and I see my sibling's asleep on the couch, normally I would smile but I can't bring myself to do it. Instead I go get a blanket and cover them with it, I then go to my room and change out of my formal clothing and get changed into some shorts, I didn't bother to get a shirt. I then plopped down on my bed, I soon fall asleep.

Im walking down a street and I spot someone, America. I decide to follow him sense I might get the chance to kill him, he takes a right. I follow close behind him, he then stops walking and turns around, he doesn't seem surprised that im here.

A"Get it over with" He said coldly, but I swear I heard a bit of hopefulness in his voice. He then reached his holster and threw me a gun,

A"If you want it to be painless go for the head. If you want it to hurt go for the stomach area." He straightened his posture and took off his sunglasses, he then smiled a bit. Why is he smiling? I don't know you're asking me?!

I raised the gun and pointed it to his head, I knew how to shoot a gun but for some reason I couldn't pull the trigger. I look at the safety, it's off, I check the ammo, it's full. The gun is ready to be used, I just can't use it. I lower the gun and look at it closely, nothing is wrong with it it's perfectly normal. America starts to laugh, I feel my face getting hot again, that laugh. It's as sweet as honey and as innocent as a child, I want to hear it more. But you can't. Why not? Because that's America's laugh, and you said you hated him right? Oh... Right.

R" Why are you laughing?! Is this a joke to you?!" I said in a serious tone,

A"Im laughing because you haven't fired," he started to walk up to me, I raised the gun in defence. He walked up to me and he stopped once the gun was pressed against his skin,

A"Do it. Kill me." he said looking into my eyes, I felt my face growing hotter. There was a weird feeling in my stomach, I tried to pull the trigger but I couldn't. I then moved the gun so that it was facing the sky, I managed to pull the trigger and it went off, I then moved it back to America and I started to pull the trigger but I couldn't do it completely.

Why? Why can't I kill him? He killed Dad, he deserves this! Then why can't I do it?! Because you love him. What? You can't kill him because you feel something for him, your face getting hot, the feeling in your stomach. That's love. No. Nonononono, I can't love him he killed Dad! But yet, you do. Go to his grave and talk to him, he might send you a sign.

I sigh and put the gun down and look America in the eyes, his beautiful purple eyes, the golden ring around it. They fit him so perfectly, he was beautiful, all of him. His hair, his clothes, his eyes, even his height. I then found myself hugging him, he didn't hug back for a few seconds but he did eventually. I pulled out from the hug, I looked at America, there was a strand of hair in his face. I put my hand on his face and pushed it out of the way, my hand rested on his cheek. He was smiling, so was I. What am I doing? This isn't a good idea, but this feels good. It feels right.

I lean closer to America, I move my other hand to his waist. We make eye contact before our lips touched, he put his hands around my neck and leaned into the kiss. We parted for air when he said,

A"I love you" 

R"I... Love you too.