To Love Again !!!

Chapter - 21

Amrit was nervous not to mention tense. She couldn't help but remember the last time. No matter how much she tried to stop her mind from wavering but it just refused to obey her commands today and then the presence of people. It was driving her nuts. Though there wouldn't be a lot of people in the Gurdwara but just the thought of being there and getting married was turning her thoughts into knots. This was ten times worse than it had been last evening. Last evening had been a breeze.

And then her mother had been dropping unnecessary hints here and there. She didn't need this right now. Are you sure about this? There is still time think about it? Damn. Her mother needs to learn how to keep distance from her when she was not in the right mood anyway. Preeti had tried to calm her down but it was not helping. So she had shooed everybody away from the room where she sat dressed as a bride. Everyone who saw her told her she made the most beautiful bride ever but it was not so much of how she looked that worried her but the ceremony. The hang ups were back with a vengeance. Someone knocked on the door and she sat up in the chair straighter.

Beeji walked in with a smile and closed the door behind her. She looked at her granddaughter. Amrit looked beautiful. In the gorgeous maroon georgette suit with beautiful sequin embroidery, traditional jewelry, make up, beeji felt tears in her eyes.

"Everyone is right," beeji said emotionally, "nobody has ever looked as beautiful as you do today Amrit," she said.

"Beeji this is not the time to crack jokes," Amrit said tensely. She had heard the emotions in her voice but her nervousness was beyond control.

"Tense?" Beeji asked knowingly.

"What do you think?" Amrit said and rose and started walking around.

"This is not going to help you," Beeji said and gesture for her to sit down.

"I am trying beeji," Amrit said, "but I just can't help but remember and their presence here is not helping at all," she said frustrated.

"Amrit you cannot avoid Simrit," beeji said carefully, "it is an impossibility. There will be several occasions even in the future where you will have to meet with her and her family and interact. There is no escape," she said trying to make her understand, "you have to accept your past, you have to accept Simrit and move on Amrit. You are starting a new life and it should make you happy not tense. Simrit is up to no good I know that but I can handle her, you need to learn that too. You need to learn how to keep her in her place and the rest of them with her. They all are a bunch of troublemakers even that fellow Varun," Beeji said with distaste, "and you know very well relatives are something we can't do a thing about that is why friends are so valuable. We can pick and choose and even if something goes wrong we have only ourselves to blame but with relatives not so much. Amrit I can't tell you don't think about the past because that is not possible but all I am asking you is to accept and let go. You will find yourself moving forward and not stuck," she said gently.

"Nobody wants me to move forward," Amrit said angrily, "since the morning ma has been doing rounds saying things she shouldn't. She knows it upsets me to even take Simrit's name and yet," she said upset.

"I will talk to Roop," beeji said trying to get Amrit out of this mood.

"And what will that achieve," Amrit said, "that darling daughter of hers has put lots of doubts in her head and she has been telling me to rethink my decision. On my wedding day," Amrit said dejectedly, "the more I try to forget it and move forward the more she is trying to pull me back," she said.

Beeji was alarmed. What was wrong with Roop? She had been so happy just last evening and had even come to her room and thanked her. Then why was she saying these things now getting Amrit all worked up? But she knew what had gone wrong. Was it Simrit or that good for nothing husband of hers? Could be both? She will take Roop to task later but right now she needed to calm Amrit down.

"Amrit, you listen to me," beeji said firmly, "there is not much time left before you will be taken down to the hall. You have trusted me in this just remember that and go the full way. Nothing will go wrong this time I promise," she said.

"How can you be sure of it?" Amrit said agitated. "It was supposed to go right last time too, and you know what happened. And she is here again. It is not ma, it is her," Amrit said stressed.

"I know Amrit but then you have to realize that the man you are marrying is Abhay, not a spineless idiot who doesn't know what he is doing," beeji reminded her.

"How come you have so much faith in him?" Amrit asked surprised to see how much beeji believed in Abhay.

"Because I have seen him Amrit," beeji said, "I don't have to know a person personally for many years to know how he is," she said, "he is not like others. He is more grounded, and mature. In my experience such men are the kinds who are not easily swayed, they are true to their word and they hold up their promises. And I am sure you know that too. You couldn't have said yes without knowing this," she said gently.

"Why didn't you use your experience the last time too beeji," Amrit said sadly, "I would have trusted you even then," she said.

"Amrit sometimes even I can be wrong," beeji said with equal sadness, "I am only human," she said. She hadn't forgiven herself for her mistake all these years either. "All I can say is and I have no right to ask you of it but if you can trust me again this will work out for the better Amrit. Listen to me and don't rethink your decision because of what others say or get swayed by what has happened in the past. If your mother had had any sense she would have taken Simrit to task but her attitude to blindside everything that girl says and does will soon be a lot of headache for her only. Be confident and begin your new life Amrit. Don't let anybody come between you and your happiness. Ever," she said and advised. Then smiled and patted Amrit's shoulder and left.

Amrit looked a little lost. She was torn between what her heart wanted to believe and what her mind was telling her. She had to find some kind of balance between the two. She closed her eyes and thought about what beeji had said. She was right. There was no correlation between what had happened five years ago and what was happening now. She had been a different person then and she was a different person now. Her innocence and naivety had been destroyed that day by the very people she had trusted and expected to take care of her all her life. They had been the ones who had betrayed her. But it had also made her wiser. Abhay was a different man. There was nothing that could be compared between the two situations. She needed to stop listening to others. She had done that for some time now and things had worked in her favor. It was not wrong of her to be a little nervous. There were a lot of things that were still vague but she had to trust her judgment. This was a big day for her. And she couldn't fail herself today. But she won't let go of the past either and she wouldn't let anybody stand between her and her happiness. Of its own accord Abhay's face formed in front of her eyes. His calm voice rang in her ears and she felt better. He wouldn't let her down she was sure of that fact even if she was not sure of anything else. She opened her eyes again and she felt the confidence return. She looked at herself in the mirror. She will not give satisfaction to anybody who did not wish well for her.

She will fight for her right to be happy and with that she took in a deep breath. She was ready to enter this new phase of her life she will not let the past deter her.

Though life never was easy because to realizethe value of what you had, needed one to work hard for it. The question waswould she be able to face the challenges life would throw at her and win whatshe so deserved?

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