Do I wanna know? - Jamie Cook

57 - Explanations

- I wanted to apologize for everything that I did to you. I was a dickhead, and I'm sorry. And I hope that you can give me another chance to show you that we can be together - Jamie said, and I let out a scoff.

- You're married - I said bitterly. - What the fuck are you saying? -

- We're getting a divorce - he replied, and I looked at him with shock clear in my face. Then my face hardened as I thought what a twat he was being; he wasn't even divorced and he was already insinuating to another woman. But I wasn't any woman; I was his ex, and he led me on while he already was seeing Katie.

- Just let me explain - he pleaded once again.

- Fine - I sighed and rolled my eyes. - You have two minutes - I said and crossed my arms.

- Really? - he asked me.

- Time's running - I said with an emotionless face.

- Okay, so here's what happened. I didn't want to marry Katie in the first place - he said and my heart broke for Katie. I knew how much she loved him. - I only did it because she was pregnant. With my baby - he said and ran a hand through his hair, and my face fell at the revelation.

- Why? It's not like it's not well seen to have babies outside marriage nowadays - I said, confused.

- I know. But when you're famous those rules don't apply to you. If the media found out that Katie and I were having a baby and we weren't married, they would've destroyed both of our careers. And with that the other lads' careers as well, and I couldn't risk that happening to any of us. Not with babies on the way - Jamie explained to me.

- We agreed on marrying, and I thought I could eventually fall in love with her and be happy. At first everything was fine, but as time passed by I realized that I did want all those things, but just not with Katie. I realized that it had always been you, Phoebe. I wanted to wake up by your side, be married to you - he said and I had to swallow the lump that had appeared in my throat.

- It's not fair that you come here and say all these things - I said, with frustration filling my body. - Do you know how much time I waited for you after we broke up? - I asked him, but he just stared at me, not saying anything.

- Two fucking years! I was pining for you for two years! And when I thought that something was finally going to happen again, you were with her - I said, and rubbed my eyes, frustrated. - I always had a little hope of you two breaking up, but when I got that wedding invitation, I realized how stupid I was, so I moved on. I have a boyfriend now, and he makes me happy. I'm happy, Jamie - I said, letting all those things out; those things I never said to him.

He looked at me with a sad expression, and I couldn't help but feel bad for him. But all of this was his fault. He explained everything too late.

- I'm glad to hear you're happy - Jamie gave me a half smile. - Can I have your number at least? So we could have a cup of coffee some day, as friends. I miss you - he said, and my face softened.

- Sure - I half smiled at him. I grabbed a piece of paper and wrote my phone number in it.

- Thank you - he said as I gave him the piece of paper. - I'm going to go now - he said as he put his hands in his jacket's pockets.

- You can stay for dinner if you want to - I said to him.

- I don't really want to intrude - he replied, scratching the back of his neck.

- You won't - I said with a reassuring smile. - I'm by myself, so it'll be nice to have some company -.

- Alright then - he said, and took off his jacket, hanging it on the back of a chair.

- I made lasagna. It should be ready soon. Do you want some wine? - I asked him.

- Thank you, but I'm driving. I could use a glass of water though - he replied, and I nodded. I took out a glass and filled it with water, and gave it to Jamie.

- Thank you - he said as he grabbed the glass.

We kept chatting until the lasagna was ready, and then we sat down at the table to eat. We talked about many things, especially about his kid and then we touched the topic of Liam.

- How did you meet him? - he said and then ate a bit of his lasagna.

- At your wedding, actually - I said, and his face turned a little bit sad.

- I see - he said with his gaze fixed on the plate.

I decided to change the topic, not wanting any sad emotions resurfacing.

- How's the band? - I asked, and his gaze moved to my eyes, as a smile formed on his face.

- We are taking a break. To focus on our families while Alex works on a new record with Miles - he replied, and I nodded.

- Yeah, I heard that. Aren't you going to miss the stage? - I asked him, knowing how much he loved playing his music.

- I mean, I love playing live. The adrenaline it gives me is one of the best feelings. But I also want a break from that endless recording and touring cycle. I want to spend more time with my family, and I have a kid now - he explained.

- I can't believe you have a kid - I chuckled.

- Me neither - he laughed. - I never saw myself as a dad - he shook his head.

- Really? I always did - I shrugged, and Jamie smiled.

- Have you ever thought about having kids? - he asked me.

- Yeah, I've been thinking about it a lot recently, and I came to the conclusion that maybe in a near future I might have one or two - I replied, and finished my glass of wine.

- You'll be a great mother -.

- Thank you - I smiled at him.

We kept talking until we finished eating. Although I told him he didn't have to, Jamie helped me to clean everything.

- I've got to go now, I'm sorry - he said as he looked at his watch. - I have to pick up Forrest - he said and grabbed his jacket.

- It's okay - I said as I dried my hands.

- Thank you for everything. It was delicious - he smiled, and I gave him a smile back as a "thank you".

I walked him to the door, and opened it for him. Before he left, he gave me a hug. It took me by surprise at first, but I hugged him back.

- It was nice seeing you - he said and then let go of the hug.

- You too -.

- I'll give you a call on of these days - he said as he exited the apartment.

- Okay. Bye Jamie - I said.

- Bye Phoebe - he said, and once he started walking down the hall, I closed the door.