Do I wanna know? - Jamie Cook

43 - Do I Wanna Know

- July 2013 -

It had been a year since I broke up with Jamie, and a year since the band left to Los Angeles. I had heard from Nick that the album was ready, and it was meant to be released on September. Currently the band was playing in a couple of festivals across the States and Europe.

During that year I had gone out on a couple of dates. Some of the men I had gone out with were amazing; real gentlemen, nice and we had a lot in common. But none of them were Jamie. I knew deep down I would never get completely over him, and that there would be a little bit of hope that he would keep his promise and look for me. So to distract myself I started to work more. And that payed off: in three months I was going to work with a band during their tour across Europe.

It was my first time working outside the country, and I was so excited that I couldn't wait any longer. The best part was that I wasn't going alone. I was going with one of my work mates: Tom.

Tom and I had to work together a few months ago, and we hit it off immediately. Unlike the rest of the recording department, Tom was only a couple years older than me, and we had so much in common that we became friends instantly.

We didn't know which band we were going to work with, but we didn't care if it was a big one or a small one; we were thrilled to have this opportunity.

Luckily, those few months passed in the blink of an eye, and we were only a few days away from leaving. If I'm honest, I was a little bit scared of leaving my dad because of what had happened last time, but it had been more than a year since he had the stroke, and the doctors said he was out of risk of having another one.

I packed my things and the next thing I knew I was on a plane with Tom and other crew members on our way to the north of the country.

- Do you know which band is it? - I asked Tom, who has sitting next to me reading a book.

- If I'm not wrong - he paused and looked at me with his blue eyes. - I think it's the Arctic Monkeys - he said with a smile.

- You're kidding - I said shocked, and it sounded like I didn't want to work with them. I wanted to, truly, but I didn't want to see Jamie.

- I'm not. Don't you like them? - he asked with furrowed eyebrows.

- I do, I do - I replied. - I'm shocked that's all -.

- Did you hear their last record? - he asked with bright eyes, and I shook my head as an answer. As much as I had promised Nick that I would listen to it, I couldn't bring myself to do it because every single song on it would remind me of Jamie. - You should. It's amazing - Tom added, and then continued to read his book.

Half an hour later we were landing, and a van took all of us to the hotel. Thankfully, the band hadn't arrived yet, so I still had time to mentally prepare myself.

- Are you okay? - Tom snapped me out of my thoughts. - You look ... tense -.

- I'm not - I replied, and he raised one eyebrow.

- Okay, fine - I sighed. - It's that I've worked with this band before -.

- Oh, so they are rude? - he asked, a little bit taken aback.

- No, no. On the contrary, they're lovely - I said with a reassuring smile. - It's just that, I, uh, got involved with one of them - I said and looked at the floor.

- Ohh - Tom replied. - If you don't mind me asking, did it end bad? -

- No, that's the thing - I said and looked back at him. - I ended things because he was leaving to Los Angeles to record an album -.

- Oh - he nodded. - Maybe this time you can work things out - he shrugged.

- I don't know. I'm scared that I might fall for him again - I said. - I don't want to get hurt - I added and Tom's gaze softened.

- It'll be alright - he said, rubbing my arm. - If anything happens, I'll be right here for you - he said squeezing my arm.

- Thank you Tom - I smiled.

A few hours later the band arrived. I hugged each one of them, even though the hug was a bit weird with Jamie. He looked different since I last saw him, and in a good way. His hair was a bit longer now, and it really suited him. I introduced the band to Tom as well, and he seemed to get along with them right away.

- I'm a huge fan - he laughed nervously.

- Thanks mate - Alex said and patted his back.

Then the band went to their rooms to leave their things.

- So, which one is it? - Tom asked me while we were having a drink at the hotel's bar.

- Jamie - I said and he nodded.

- Yeah, I could tell - he said, having a zip of his drink. - You acted weird around each other - he added. Were we that obvious?

We kept talking and then the band joined us. We had a couple of drinks and then went to bed. Their show was the next day, so we needed to rest.

After lunch, we did sound check. It was weird to actually be the one in charge of it. When I was on tour with them and was there while they sound checked I never would've imagined that I would be in this position today.

I was very excited for the show. Not only because I was working at the sound table, but because I was going to hear their new songs as well. But maybe I shouldn't have been so excited. As soon as I heard the lyrics of the first song, my stomach dropped.

The guitar riff was the one Jamie had been working on that night we kissed in the Swiss cabin, and the lyrics were all things I had said during our relationship. "Do I wanna know if this feeling flows both ways?". I remembered saying that to him. I was angry and I was hurt, but thankfully, the rest of the tracks seemed to be written by Alex and had nothing to do with me.

- Did you like the new tracks? - Nick asked me once the show finished.

- I did - I smiled. - By the way, did Alex write all of them? -

- No - Nick shook his head. - Jamie helped him write the song we opened with -.

Of course he did.