Loving Luca

49. A Joy beyond Describable.

Luca

The past 2 days been been hell.
I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't think, I can't do anything without falling apart.
I knew if I were to ever lose her my life would be nothing but hollow...but I never thought it would happen...and it's so much worse than I could have ever imagined.

These 2 days have felt like 2 years, all the hours in the day feel like they're multiplying.

I looked at myself in the mirror feeling horrified.
My eyes were blood shot, red and swollen, I looked like a zombie.

I took off my cloths and got in the shower letting the boiling hot water take over, and for just a second I felt a hint of relaxation...but it instantly took over knowing she wasn't just a few feet away waiting for me to smother her in wet shower kisses.

Every night I've cradled that bear with my life...like it was her, because to me it was.

I wiped myself dry and dressed in my gear, ready to go out and search for again and again, even if it took years, decades...a lifetime, I know I'll never stop.

I unpacked the last bag that had been sitting in the corner for days. It was just full of toiletries and other random things.

Once I got to the bottom of the bag I saw a white piece of paper.
What's that?
I picked it up and felt the tears start to fall again...it was her letter...I never got to read it.

I sat myself down on the edge of the bed not sure if I should read it now... but I have to.

"To dear Luca, my love, your everything I have been dreaming of since I was a little girl, every night I would dream that a Prince Charming would take me away from the darkness I had to call home for so many years, and although it took its time...you came, and you were better than anything I could have ever dreamt of. Your the second half of my heart, your the air I need to breath to survive, your the entire reason I wake up in the morning.
I cannot live this life without you, I cannot wait for the day I get to call you my husband, I can't wait for the day I get to watch our children play around in the yard. If I ever lose you... I will lose myself.
I refuse to have to live this life without you here with me. Your the angel that has saved me from the darkness. I love you more than all the stars in the universe and I will continue to love you until the day after eternity. Love always, Rosie"

My heart caved in, it felt like it had been swallowed whole. Knowing just how much she wanted to grow old with me, have my kids, be my wife... it put a strength inside me I didn't know I needed until now.

I suddenly realised, my purpose in this life is not to be the don of the Italian mafia, it's not to lead my men to great success...it's to spend the rest of my love with Rosie...it's to watch our kids grow as we grow together ourselves...it's to start a family with the love of my life.

"Boss!! We found her" kade barged in without warning.

In that moment it was like my world came back from the darkest point it had ever been in, I felt an adrenaline rush like you wouldn't believe, it was a joy that was indescribable...

Rosie

It's been 2 days since I was taken...2 whole days of the nothing but pure agonising pain.

Every second of every minute of every hour...all I could think about was him.
I would imagine him bursting through the doors and taking me in his homely arms, bringing back to where I belong.

In this point of the time the likely hood of surviving is very little.
I know that deep down this will be the last time I ever see him.

For days I've been held underground, being beaten and tortured in ways I don't think I will ever overcome or forget about. But as I sit here on this broken and abounded bridge, surrounded by men who have brutally tortured me for days, I can't help but feel beyond terrified....
not for myself but for Luca.

I knew this was a set up...a trap, they intentionally gave Luca my location...so when he gets here he'll see me on this bridge...bound and beaten... and I know deep down what's going to happen, they're going to get their revenge, they're going to kill me in front of him...

The sky is dark, pure darkness, only stars and a dull moon to light up the broken down bridge in the middle of the forest. It's seem almost perfect for the occasion.

I was tied up with my hands behind my back, sitting down on nothing but broken wood, my head was blinding with pain.
I didn't even recognise myself when they made me look in the mirror. My hair is ratty and soaked in dried red blood, my face bruised black and blue, my nose definetly broken.
I had a slit in my brow with dried blood running down my face to accompany it, my body was bruised all over, i had gashes from the broken glass almost everywhere on my body, I had on only a very short pair of lose shorts and a bra. I was a mess.
An unrecognisable mess.

The man who's name I learnt to be Ivan, stood next to me as around 50 men accompanied him, some hiding, some in plain sight.

I felt almost no emotion knowing that in an hour or even less...I'd be up in heaven singing with the angels.
I know that I won't be able to live this life fully, I won't be able to marry the man I have loved since the first time I saw him, I won't be able to have kids with the man I am so deeply in love with, but what hurt the most was I knew he would blame himself, but I don't want him too, I have had the best 6 months of my entire life, I have learnt that not every one in this world is evil, I have learnt that people can change, I learnt to love not only others but myself, and I thank Luca for that, because he was the one who found me, the one who turned my demons into angels.

"He's nearly here sweetheart" Ivan smiled as he looked out into the forest. My heart sank as I followed his gaze, I could see lights peering through the forest, my name being called...it was his voice...he was here.

Luca

I ran with almost full speed through the thick and dark forest I was bound to found her in any second now. I watched on the small device as our dot come closer to hers, we were so close, I almost didn't stop myself from running straight into it until Lee stopped me, telling me I needed to slow down, we needed to be smart about it, and as much as I hated it, as much as I wanted her in my arms now, I knew he was right.

We backed up and started to slow down as we approached the centre of the forest where an old bridge stood up, broken down and nearly on the brink of collapse.

We came out of the forest onto a dirt path...
I could see them...I could see Ivan and his men standing in the centre of the bridge, he saw me.

With our guns upright, we marched onto the bridge until there was only 15 metres between us.
My heart sank into my stomach realising I couldn't see her.
Where is she?

"Where is she!" I demanded him tell me.
I could already feel the hope leaving my body, I felt tears wanting to prick at my eyes.

He just smirked at me as he slowly moved to the side...and there she was.

I had no words...

Rosie

My mouth fell open as a smile creeped up on my beaten face.
I was so happy to finally see him, I can't describe the happiness that filled my heart, it was just...Joy.

I watched as his eyes widen in shock, his jaw fell open as looked at me like I wasn't the same person anymore...and I wasn't.

I gave him a sympathetic smile as tears rolled down my cheeks.
I didn't want him to blame himself.

He couldn't believe what he was seeing.
I watched as silent tears strolled down his beautiful face, his eyes fluttered open and shut as he if he was in a nightmare...

"YOU FUCKING BASTARD!!" He shouted as he lifted his gun towards Ivan's head, Ivan instantly lifted his to my head.

"Do it and she's dead" he bit back.

I couldn't help but cry out in fear.
I thought I could do this but I just I don't want to die.

Silence filled the air as I watched the boys look at me in utter disbelief, I watched as tears strolled down their faces as they looked at my beaten body.
I watched as my father figure, lee looked at me as if he blamed himself.

It was too quiet, I need to know.