Eyes On You. // Minsung [PT. 1]

22

A few weeks had passed. Minho's PTSD was getting better with the help of Jisung but these few said weeks, not once had Minho gone to work. It was about time he went back as he had only asked for a break until Monday and it was Sunday night already. Minho sighed as he checked his schedule for tomorrow. Dance practise with Hyunjin, working on a song with Changbin and Chan, modelling for a magazine shoot in the afternoon and vocal training with Jeongin at night.

Minho really didn't want to go. He knew Jisung wouldn't be with him and he wasn't sure if he could survive a panic/anxiety attack by himself. Jisung who was at Minho's house noticed Minho's change of mood and snuggled up on the bed next to him. He rested his chin on Minho's shoulders and asked gently.

"What's up, baby? Worried about work?"

"Yeah.. You can't come with me and.. I dunno, what if I have another episode?"

"You'll be fine honey. You only had a few episodes this whole week, plus if you do, you can take your medication, yeah?"

Minho shook his head. He was embarrassed to say it but Jisung didn't seem to get it. "I-I need you with me.."

"Just ring me if you miss me, 'kay? I'm not busy today."

Minho nodded and cuddled into Jisung's side and soon, he fell asleep with the warmth of Jisung embracing him.

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Minho stared at the building. He gulped as his grip tightened on the pill bottle in his hands. Jisung had told him to take the red bottle (for more severe hallucinations that can't be helped from the blue ones) just in case. Minho took a deep breathe before going in and heading up to his studio.

When he entered, he saw Hyunjin already there, dancing to a few trendy songs for fun. Hyunjin looked up at Minho and could tell a lot had changed in just a few weeks.

"Woahh, you're back! Uhm.. No offence but you kinda look different... What happened?" Hyunjin said as he walked over and turned off the music before leaning on the table and staring at Minho.

Minho shook his head with the 'i-dont-want-to-talk-about-it' kind of vibe and Hyunjin shrugged. Minho just couldn't tell anyone about what happened other than Jisung. The morning before practise started was rather peaceful. Hyunho was scheduled for a class at 9 AM and they had quite a few hours before they needed to prepare. Hyunjin plopped down on the floor and facetimed Jeongin and seeing this, Minho wanted to call Jisung but none of his colleagues even knew that Jisung existed. What would they think about him? 

Minho resorted to just texting and soon enough, it was time for the class. Minho and Hyunjin got up and a few other people came in. They all quickly did a warm up before the coach came in and set up what they were doing for today. Minho stayed in the back of the practise room the entire time and both the coach and his classmates found it weird that he wasn't as eager because most of the time, he was pretty extroverted and screaming for no reason all the time. 

Two hours passed and the class ended, Minho made it down to the JYP café as usual at 11 AM sharp, ordering the same thing he'd have all the time. After a 25 minute break, Minho walked up to the recording studio. Before Changbin and Chan could make a remark on his new state, Minho put a hand up indicating for them to not say anything and the two complied, seeing that Minho was a lot more different than before. 

Halfway through recording, Minho started getting a mild headache. He kept telling himself it was probably because he didn't eat anything this morning or he missed Jisung but deep inside, he knew this was another episode coming up. He took a few deep breathes trying to calm down and Changbin and Chan seemed to notice this.

"Hey Minho, you okay?" Chan asked as he turned around in his spinny chair, hearing the heavy breathing from behind him.

When he saw Minho, his eyes widened slightly. Minho was curled up in a ball, staring at Chan absolutely petrified. Behind Chan. Right behind him. Javier with the shotgun. Aiming it at Minho. 

Minho shook violently and pointed at Chan and his breath quickened to the point he was gasping for air. Changbin who had just returned to the studio from a call stared and Minho and Minho looked up, seeing Renyn in the doorway, laughing at him.

"N-no! S-stay away.. D-don't come any closer!" Minho screamed at Changbin who was trying to get to him. Chan quickly got up and walked over to Minho, leaning in and Minho could only see Jeongho, grinning and staring into his soul.

Minho shrieked again and he could feel his eyes burning as the tears came spilling out. With blood or not, he didn't know but he was assuming with because his eyes stung a crap ton and Changbin and Chan seemed mortified. 

Meds.. Where are my meds... Oh fuck I left them downstairs in my studio.. Shit.. Ugh. Minho clutched his head as the studio slowly transformed into the room he was kept in and he cried. Sobbed and weeped. Changbin and Chan were helpless, not knowing what the actual fuck was going on and how in the world Minho was crying blood. Changbin raced out to call for staff as Chan tried to talk with Minho.

Soon, Minho was back in his room but the hallucinations were getting worse and worse. He could literally feel the coldness of the metal chains wrapping up his leg and he winced even though it wasn't actually there. No one had a clue on what to do and could only stare as Minho's mental state deteriorated every second. As Minho was an orphan, they couldn't contact his family and no one had any idea who Jisung was right now.

Chan yet again tried to talk to Minho but Minho's anxiety turned straight into anger and he screamed at him. 

"GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME! LEAVE ME ALONE GOD DAMNIT! YOU'VE ALREADY DONE ENOUGH HARM, DON'T YOU THINK? I WAS FUCKING 16!! 16 AND RAPED BY YOUR GROUP OF WORTHLESS SCUMBAGS! DO YOU HAVE ANY SHAME?! I HATE YOU!! DO YOU HAVE ANY CLUE ON WHAT I HAD TO GO THROUGH AFTER THAT?!" Minho yelled without even knowing that he was saying all these.

Chan's pupils shrunk and his face turned as dead as a rock.

Everyone did.

"R-raped..? Minho hyung.. raped at... 16?" Felix mumbled and covered his mouth with his hand.

"DON'T ACT LIKE YOU'RE FUCKING INNOCENT!" Minho continued when he saw Felix and saw him as one of the people assigned to him to keep him from suiciding. "YOU KNEW I WAS GOING THROUGH A HARD TIME YET YOU JUST ABSOLUTELY HAD TO PULL ME OUT FROM THE POND! I WAS THAT CLOSE TO DYING. YOU KNOW I WANTED TO END IT ALL! YOU SHOULD'VE LET ME! LIVING AT THAT TIME WAS TOO MUCH.. WAY TOO MUCH! BUT YOU DIDN'T UNDERSTAND! YOU FUCKING MADE ME LIVE THAT MORTAL NIGHTMARE!!"

"...S-suicide..?" Jeongin stammered as he stared sympathetically at Minho.

"Should we get a doctor..?" Hyunjin asked to the rest of the group as Minho curled up in a ball again and started crying again.