Eyes On You. // Minsung [PT. 1]

20

After Minho was allowed to return to his room, he never left it. None of the people in the orphanage knew that he got raped either so they all assumed that Minho was just recovering from the injuries. But during those days, all Minho could think of was what had happened to him. The laughter of the group when they beat him up. The excruciating pain of the whip landing on his back. The way the metal chains wrapped around his legs. The sound of the shotgun echoing through the room. Everything was so real and Minho could practically feel it all happen again.

Three days after he was discharged, he finally left his room. As soon as he did, all of the others in the orphanage came piling on him, pestering him with questions. He ignored all of them and silently made it to the dining hall to grab some food. When he took a plate, he saw in the back of a kitchen was a knife, glistening under the flickering lights.

That was when it came to him.

He still had two years before he was going to be fully an adult and was allowed to leave the orphanage. Two years in this hell. It was impossible. The knife still sat on the kitchen counter, glowing to Minho. One deep slit on the wrist and it'll be all over. No more hallucinations. No more trauma. No more nightmares. No more nothing. A wide smile appeared on his face. He stared at the knife while grinning.

Since then, every night he would attempt sneaking into the kitchen but fail miserably. The whole of the orphanage knew by the end of the week that Minho was now trying to end his life every chance he got. He eventually got labeled as the psycho (because all he could think of was how peaceful it would be to die and he always had the same, crazy smile plastered on with eyes widened) of the orphanage and had to have someone supervise him at all times to prevent him from committing suicide. Minho was also diagnosed with schizophrenia and when he had these hallucinations, he'd stay on his bed, rocking back and forth and no one dared stop him as everyone was terrified of him. Once, his assigned person almost didn't make it in time and found him floating head faced down in the pond of the orphanage, just about to drown.

Eventually exactly one month after what happened had happened, the doors to the kitchen was left unlocked by a member of staff and Minho managed to sneak in. He stood still, still smiling like a maniac, seeing the knife just within his reach. He picked the knife up and traced his fingers against the sharp side of it, leaving a cut on his finger.

Minho laughed. As fucking loud as he could. Even if someone heard him and rushed downstairs to stop him, he could just stab himself and there was no one who could stop him. The echoes of his psychotic laughter echoed through the hallways and woke the whole orphanage up. One of the staff at the orphanage shot out of bed hearing the familiar laughter and dashed into the kitchen, knowing exactly who it was and what he was doing.

Minho smiled creepily at the staff and she shuddered.

"Minho darling come on just.. put the knife down. Okay?"

Minho shook his head and tears tinted with blood came pouring out his eyes. "You don't understand.. Oh you all have it so well... You make it seem like it's so easy to live.. No it's not. ITS FUCKING NOT! I HATE THIS GOD DAMN WORLD, WHAT DID I EVER DO TO DESERVE THIS SHIT?! I'M INNOCENT.. But I still had to go through that.. Hah. Hahaha! Life.. it's so unfair that it's funny.."

The staff stood still and stared at Minho who had blood coming out of his eyes. He had also been diagnosed with haemolacria, a rare kind of occurrence that made people cry blood. However Minho's outburst gave the others enough time and before Minho noticed, someone pounced on him from behind and the knife dropped out of his hands. His eyes widened and kept his eyes on the knife as the other person pinned him onto the ground and firmly held him there. Suddenly, the flashbacks came back and he started screaming again.

Since that night, Minho got locked up in a room where everything was white, literally like he was a mentally insane person.

When Minho turned 17, his illness got slightly better and returned to being a more "normal person" as throughout the year, he tended to slowly forget about the past. He still didn't talk much to anyone but his suicidal thoughts had decreased and didn't need supervision at all times. And finally when he turned 18, he was let out into the society.