He called. I'm so emotionally drained. I can't even be bothered to write about it or think about it.
I can't be bothered with anything right now.
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Have somehow been writing a script and presenting tomorrow with other things on my mind. I find it hard to focus on something when something else is bothering me. I need time to unwind and take care of myself tonight, the stress has been making me break out and I don't have an appetite today.
Currently watching a film with my mum, The Mountain Between Us on Disney plus. I had a short bread biscuit. My eyes are stinging and I'm struggling to keep them open, I've cried so much my eyes are swollen, I think my mum knows what's up, I'm her kid she knows me better than anyone. She's been eyeing me and stuff.
I feel a bit run down, got a headache, extremely tired, sore throat, sneezing.
This happened between us uni girls and it was the only thing that's made me smile today.
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Safe to say I learned something new lol.
Another thing: Amygdala
I think mine is overactive. It's the part in the brain which controls emotions. I need to calm my amygdala. I did probably react strongly but I did honestly think it was happening again the second time and the hurt all came back to me.
I do wish I spoke to Lorenz more about what bothered me. Even if I sent it with the intentions of a compliment, why's it so hard to actually give me a compliment? The way I see it, if my husband or partner wanted something from me, to make them happy, I'd say it or do it, and I'd do it or say it as often as I could to make sure they're happy. That I'm the one that makes them happy. What if in 20 years I come home from work and I look exhausted, It would be nice if he looked at me and thought I'm the prettiest woman on earth and be able to express that to me. It's one thinking something, I'm not a mind reader it's good to be told stuff.
I just find it so difficult to grasp why it's hard for him to compliment me it kinda hurts me. I wish he'd understand that. My love languages is physical touch and words of affirmation, it's just how I am, i feel loved by that, obviously amongst other things as well and I want to explain this to him without him thinking anything else about me. If his love language is something, I'd try my best to make sure he felt loved by me in the way he knows it, and I'd hope he'd do the same for me. It's not asking for much.
