547 days

6/2/2023

I had a good dream last night. I dreamt of me and Lorenz and his son and we were at bubbleology like back at that night when we went in real life and Lorenz was secretly holding my hand on the sofa like he did in actual real life and it's one of my favourite things that he's done. I woke up happy. Or like that one time we went bowling with his son and I sat in the back and Lorenz was stroking my leg and stuff in secret. I love the small things he does.

I've fully been awake since 7, got out of bed to pray fajr and watched the sunrise. The sunrise was pretty this morning but sunsets will always be superior.
8:07am

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Lecture Notes.
Give Anti coagulation tablets if patient has floppy valve, floppy valve can cause blood clots, blood clot doesn't stay in heart, can go into lungs = pulmonary embolism or blood clot carried throughout body.

Ejection fraction:
Diastole 100% of blood should stay in ventricle
Systole - don't want 100% of blood exit ventricle in systole because ventricle could collapse as it would be empty, need some blood in ventricle. Will cause pressure, the pressure will cause both ventricular walls to touch each other which we don't want. Systole, removing up to 70% of blood from ventricles.

Frank-starling law.
Inotropy.
If a pt is producing a certain amount of blood going out of heart with each stroke and we increase number of stroke
What happens to output?
It reduces.
I don't understand this, ask Lara.

Got a pt who has some heart damage to left ventricle and is causing problems with actually moving electrical impulse from atria to ventricle
Where shall we see problems on an ecg?
Anatomically have a problem below the AV node down to the left ventricle, it's about transmitting signal from AV down.
ECG: widened or increased QRS wave.

What happens because of a previous MI have a dead spot of tissue in right ventricle no impulse , no flow of oxygen in that bottom part of ventricle how will that affect ecg?
What will happen to QRST
ECG: ST depression. No depolarisation.

Ectopic beat.

OSCES
must ask 4-5 questions for pt to expand on symptoms
Must ask questions around it to expand on review on systems
Must introduce myself , FULL NAME - immediate fail
ASK ALLERGIES - immediate fail.

Pan-systolic murmur
Which valve would this affect?
Which ventricle or atria are we interested in, in terms of further damage?

What would we see if we looked at PT? Pale skin? Shivers or sweating? Dizzy? Unstable?

Lecture is done. I love cardiology but it's so challenging. Especially the ECG waves and interpreting it. Equally challenging and equally fascinating. - 10:22am

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Just came back from the gym, I've got a new insecurity today. Its like I randomly wake up one day and look at myself in the mirror and decide on an insecurity, I came home and asked my dad if I looked pretty lol I keep reminding myself that I'm healthy and that's all that matters alhamdulilah. I spent an hour and half at the gym. The next time I go gym I wanna wear gym shorts.

Todays a beautiful day, it's sunny, I would have been meeting a friend today but now she thinks I'm going to hers for pre drinks?? Absolutely not but idk how to say no😭😭 gonna have a shower and spend the afternoon in the garden reading with my phone away. - 13:06pm

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Watched a feel good film (the call of the wild) with mum and it was good cos I haven't spent time with her as much. She treated my hair with oils and plaited it for me which is a form of bonding which I liked. I love it when she massages my head/scalp and plays with my hair, feels so good. I also cried a few times during the film , it was good. No stupid romance or half naked women in it.

I need to stop squeezing my non existent spots which then turn into spots because now I have blemishes.

I'm not looking forward to a whole day of uni tomorrow. I've never liked Tuesdays in uni, we have clinical skills in the afternoon and it's so long and it drags. I'm not looking forward to the conversations with honey tomorrow either. I know it sounds bad but I know exactly what she wants to talk about and I feel like I sound like a broken record. Like I just want to talk about stuff other than guys for once. A bit of a girl talk here or there is exciting but not sure I want to hear about it tomorrow.

Not feeling the best tonight. Think I'm coming down with something. I also think it's gonna be hard for me to fall asleep tonight I'm not sure why. I'm not sure what I want to do now. Have a fruit salad in front of me to eat, and was gonna do a light home workout - Pilates. But not sure I can be bothered.

I'm feeling quite weak lately like I can tell. I've only ever fainted once and that was during taekwondo and they had to call my dad to pick me up half way through the class. A guy let me lean on him and he walked me out with his arms around me cos I could barely stand and couldn't see anything my vision went entirely.

I've been feeling like that lately at the gym, and recently at home, my visions been going black and I've been feeling a bit off balance and extremely tired. I think I'm either anemic again or a vitamin is low or something or I just need a break. Which is why I'm eating more salads than I normally do. I always eat salads, either veg or fruit salads it's how we have always been as a family and I'm thankful to my parents for that. But I'm not even hungry right now for once lol but I feel I need it .

Tomorrows gonna be so longgggg I'm already dreading it ☹️🥴 - 19:24pm

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I hadn't kissed my mum good night in so long. Our relationship hasn't been the same for like two years and I'm trying lately. She really appreciated it, I kissed her forehead and her cheek. I've always been close to my mum and I know this gesture tonight really shook her cos she smiled so bright. She kissed my head back. I've always been affectionate towards my parents, more so my mum than my dad. Ilham always teases me for it cos I'm the same with my friends too, i kiss my friends on the cheek and head and hug them and Ilham gets so awkward it's funny and we make a joke out of it lol. I express my love for the people I care about very openly.

That went better than expected. I dunno why I was scared to tell Lorenz that honeys friend called me. I shouldn't be scared to tell him but I was for some reason. It's not like it's my fault. No bad intentions or anything. But he said he doesn't wanna know so I don't need to tell him in the future if it happens again but I hope it doesn't. I could tell he was annoyed from his voice though. But anyways, I should try to sleep☹️ - 22:14pm