547 days

Sunday 1st January 2023

Sunday 1st January 2023
New Year's Day

I woke up at 10am something and I was having a weird dream, it was a dream I wanted to carry on sleeping in but I was half awake and half asleep and I knew if I slept any longer then I'd wake up late, and I didn't want to wake up late so I forced myself to wake up.

Also our wifi hasn't been working overnight and it still isn't. I'm using my data but I don't have much data and I also need to do uni work using WiFi obviously so I don't know how I'm going to manage that.

Ayrton let me know he got home safe which I'm happy about. I think he probably saw my other friend on the motorway too without knowing. She was driving home around 2am too from London. Apparently the view for the fireworks in London wasn't the best from where they were stood. I ended up watching a bit of the London fireworks live on YouTube and it seemed decent this year. I don't think they did anything last year.

I'm debating fasting today or not. I probably should to be honest. I think I will. He wants to read my journal and I think he will eventually guess the title but I'm going to tell him if he finds it, don't tell me. Because I feel like I wouldn't be as expressive if I know he or anyone else that I know of, knows about this journal. I still low-key worry that my family know and by family I mean sister cos I really don't know what they have access to. In fact, I'm going to start a new icloud too today and it'll be such a hassle but I need to I think.

I'm still thinking about moving out... but the only thing stopping me is my mothers tears and my mothers love, the funds isn't even bothering me at this point. I mean it is and it isn't for reasons I'll go onto explain later because right now my arm is dead and has pins and needles, actually the medical term for pins and needles is paresthesia, my patient I'm using for my presentation on Wednesday has paresthesia in his left shoulder that radiates to his neck. I still think my diagnosis is wrong for that but I've just put it as chronic shoulder strain because there's a different between strain and sprain. And the patient passed all other examinations and only felt a bit of pain and restriction of movement at shoulder abduction. And it's only chronic because it's been bothering him for a few months now, it's not acute as it wasn't a sudden onset.

Anyways, for some reason I randomly thought about Ayrton's cousin who has cancer. I hope she's doing well, and her family. I also think I'll go through this journal and change Ayrton's name to something else, and also my friends names, just to be on an extra safe side. I'm still in bed and the wifi isn't fixed yet. Not sure what to do. - 11:08am (update, wifi is working now) urgh never mind it went again 😩

Wifi is fully back. I'm craving tacos. I haven't ate anything so I could fast but I literally have 4 hours of left if I decide to fast. Okay I've decided to fast. I'm reading a thousand splendid suns. It's about Afghanistan but Afghanistan used to be a part of Persia so I understand everything which is a good thing. It's in English but some words are in Farsi, Afghans speak Farsi which is what Persians speak but it's just different dialects. I'm on chapter 3 or 4 I think. I'll do uni work at 1 -12:30pm

Starting to lose my patience with the wifi now.  Just opened my laptop to do work and it went. My parents are doing something in the garage, think they're clearing stuff out and I don't know if that's got anything to do with the wifi going from the fuse box or something. Pissing me off I can't lie.

I just went downstairs to ask my mum why the wifi isn't working I've got uni work to be doing and she barely spoke to me. Didn't look at me. Makes me think they still have control over my phone. I don't think I'll be able to do any uni work today. I'm going to cry. I'm stressing out. I've been using my phone data since last night and it's probably going to run out soon. I need a new sim with more data because in times like this, it would help me.