STILL WITH YOU (JIKOOK)

65.

JIMIN'S POV:

Unexpectedly and very pleasantly, namjoon helped me sideline the ongoing chaos in my mind.

He was correct. In the process of trying to hurt jungkook with my actions, all I was thinking of was jungkook and I was the one being most affected by it. I needed to not give him that amount of significance and definitely not let my head be filled by his thoughts.

After spending quite some time in the terrace, I climbed downstairs and sneakily went to the room so that jungkook would not wake up and start showering me with questions which I would not like to answer to.

But thanks to the luck I have, as soon as I entered the room, the room's lights lit up and jungkook had already woken up, he didn't even look sleepy which had me assume that he was waiting for me to get back since quite a time.

'You had me worried!' He said and I just hummed.

I was going to follow what namjoon had advised me and that is not answering to jungkook in a certain way that will keep me thinking about it for a long time.

And I too didn't want to be rude to him, or to anybody. I mean it was not me and I would not be someone I am not just because of a certain person.

Not that being all nice and forgiving was in my list, but I was just not going to answer in a specific way and tone that would make me wonder about whether I did right or wrong.

I was just going to be honest to myself, my heart and like namjoon said, I wasn't going to curse myself for not being able to hate jungkook.

If I didn't hate him, then that's it. I thought to stop forcing myself to feel something that I was unable to. But it doesn't mean I was going to forgive all of jungkook's atrocities as well.

He was a jerk and he would continue to be one. I understood it very well, by the time.

'You could have said to me, you were going up there in the terrace! I started searching for you like a maniac until namjoon told me about your whereabouts!' Jungkook further said and I clenched my fists as I heard namjoon informed him.

What kind of a person was he? One moment he tells me not to forgive his friend and the other moment he tells his friend about where I am...

'Needed some air, that's all' I huffed out.

'You are barefoot on top of that! Aren't you cold?' He screamed just a little as he realized there were no slippers on my feet.

'I would rather be barefoot! My feet are burning for some reason!' I answered and I really was speaking the truth.

'Burning? Shall I call nurses?'

'No, it's okay!' I shrugged off as I headed to the washroom to wash my feet off.

I thoroughly washed them and saw jungkook standing upright as soon as I opened the door.

'What's your problem? Let me be for god's sake.' I swear I was so annoyed by his behaviour. He was being so clingy.

'I just wanted to check whether you were okay or not!' His soft tone didn't help me at all.

'You really need to get off my back, jungkook before I say or do something stupid!'

'I was just being concerned about you! Don't get me wrong! Why won't you let me care about you?' He stretched his hands which I dodged after flinching very violently. I later realized he did so to caress my cheek but I got scared out of reflex.

He immediately retracted his hand back down, and I kept on staring at him and he too reciprocated my gaze. He was still struck to be precise.

'This is why, this is why I won't let you care about me. Because everytime you get close to me, I feel like being choked, I feel trapped and I want to do all sorts of things to you that you did to me but I can't and I won't because I am not like you, and I do have the conscience to not get physical at any condition.'