Firsts & Lasts

Bonus Chapter One.

I'm human.

She scrunches her nose and stands up. "I'll be right back. I have to go change my pad. I hate being on my period." She groans as she leaves my trailer. I chuckle as I watch her go. Her words suddenly get me thinking. I furrow my brows and grab my phone from its charger. I open up my period tracking app.

SEVEN WEEKS LATE.

My eyes widen at the words on my screen. I've been so busy that I hadn't even realized that I haven't gotten my period. I'm also never late. My heart starts pounding. There is no way I'm pregnant. I can't be. It's probably just from all the stress. Filming has been stressful and we only got a two-week break in between filming the finale for season two and starting the first episode of season three. I start pacing in my trailer as I hesitate about what to do. Maybe I should take a test just in case? I very much doubt it, though. I cannot be pregnant. Not now.

I pick up my phone and find my best friends contact. I put the phone to my ear and bite my nails as it starts to ring. Just when I believe the phone is about to go to voicemail, Maddy's groggy voice fills my ear. Crap, I forgot it's almost four in the morning. "Hello?" she says. "Maddy!" I whisper shout. "What, crazy? It's the middle of the night," she replies in the same low voice I do. Xander is probably zonked out next to her. "I need you," is all I manage to say. I hear heavy shuffling from her end before she talks again, her voice clearer this time. "Where are you?" she says. I can hear the panic in her voice. Ugh, I shouldn't make her panic.

"No. It can wait until morning but. . . I think I might be pregnant," I say in a whisper. "WHAT!" she yells through the line. I wince slightly at how loud she sounded in my ear. "I don't know for sure! But I just realized that I haven't gotten my period in seven weeks," I tell her. The line is quiet for a couple of beats. "You have to take a pregnancy test ASAP. I'm on my way to pick you up," she says and the shuffling starts again. "No! I'm at work, I still have a couple of hours to go. I'll call you when I get out and I'll go pick you up. Can we take it at your place since Xander has class tomorrow?" I ramble. "Ugh, okay. Yes. Call me as soon as you finish," she says.

We say our short goodbyes and hang up shortly after. I start focusing on my breathing, making sure to calm myself down so I won't have a panic attack. God knows that would be terrible right now.

It's hard to focus on my breathing when a million thoughts infiltrate my brain. How am I going to tell Chris? How is Chris going to react? Is he going to be okay with me being pregnant when we're across the country from each other at the moment? What are my parents going to say? Is this going to ruin my acting career? I start to panic and my breathing becomes uneven. "Breathe, Nov. Breathe," I whisper to myself. I wish I could call Chris but it's almost one in the morning in Los Angeles. It takes a couple of minutes for my breathing to calm down and I enter my small bedroom, looking at myself in the full-length mirror. I lift the shirt I'm wearing and look at my stomach. I look bloated, I have been looking bloated.

I suck in my stomach and it goes in. I let it fall back to normal and it does. I look down at it and poke it with my index finger. "Is someone in there?" I whisper. Of course, I get no reply. I frown and put my hand on my belly. I begin to pose as if I was pregnant. "Oh God, I'm going to be an ugly pregnant woman," I mutter. I shake all the thoughts about being pregnant out of my head. "For all I know I could just be stressed. It's happened to people before, it's a real thing," I say aloud to myself.

Maybe if I say it out loud, it'll be true. I hope so.

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I picked up Maddy from her and Xander's apartment thirty minutes ago to buy pregnancy tests but now we're back. We bought five different tests. Two Clearblue, and three different cheaper brands. I stare at the boxes that sit on the bathroom sink in horror. Maddy has her hands perched on her hips as she stares at me. "Novalee." I don't look over at my best friend as my eyes stay glued to the pregnancy tests in front of me. "Nova, look at me!" she says a little harder this time. I swallow the lump in my throat and turn to face her. I don't say anything. "Here," she says. She grabs the ClearBlue test and starts to take it out of the box.