Firsts & Lasts

Last Conversation.

Christian

"I can't believe Coach made us run three fucking miles." Xander pants out. He takes the Gatorade bottle that's already condensing and takes a swig of it. Me and the boys all sit in our lockers, catching our breaths. The rest of the guys start piling into the locker room.

Coach usually puts us through running hell on Mondays and Tuesdays. Plus, we have our first official game this Saturday, so he's not holding back.

Rhys comes in panting, holding his abdomen. "Fuck," he groans, falling down onto the floor "who let me drink that much yesterday?" He asks. He's the only one who went out last night. He said coach was too hard on him at practice so he needed a couple of drinks.

It's biting him in the ass now. "All you, man." Cgc says, slapping him with his towel as he walks towards the showers. Rhys groans, sitting up. "Adler, get your ass up, man." Coach yells, walking into his office.

Rhys rolls his eyes, standing up completely. "Old man is acting like he just ran the three miles with us and is fine." Xander laughs, removing his pads and undershirt. I shake my head. I stay out of these things. I rather not have to pick sides when it comes to coach and my best friends.

After I take off my pads, I jog into the showers with Rhys on my tail. Luckily, our organization has a good amount of money to afford curtains. I'd hate to stare at the guys asses more than I already do. "Boys, boys." I say, turning on the hot water.

I should use cold water for the soreness, but my body craves hot water. Despite the scorching, hot California sun we just ran in.

The guys turn to look at me. "What's going on?" Cgc says in the stall next to mine. We can still see each others chests and above since the walls aren't high, but nothing else below that. "I made out with a very cute redhead Sunday." I chuckle, squeezing some soap into the loofa to wash my body.

Cgc furrows his dark brows. "Who?"

"Novalee, he went to see her that day. Calling it!" Xander calls out, pointing a finger toward me.

I shrug. "Alright, you figured me out."

Xander gives me a thumbs up before he goes back to washing his short hair.

Cgc raises his eyebrows like he's surprised. I can't lie, I'm surprised too. "We all saw it coming." Rhys says. "Not me," Cgc chuckles "I thought she was better than that." He says. I furrow my eyebrows. What the hell does that mean?

"What's that supposed to mean?" I question. He turns to look at me and I'm sure he can see that his comment did not sit right with me. I don't care what way he meant it.

He shrugs. "She's not the type to just kiss guys and stuff. Especially ones like you." He looks away again, nonchalantly, acting like he didn't insult me. Again. Guys like me? That's funny. I'm pretty sure he means guys like us.

I look away from him and chuckle. "Apparently she does." I look at him as I shut off the water. I wrap my towel around my waist and head back toward my locker, shaking my head. Cgc was my friend, but he was ruthless sometimes. He said what was on his mind at all times.

Although usually when he insulted me or the guys, we didn't really take much offense to it. We'd use that "spoiled rich kid" thing on him and he went mute. For some reason, he hates when we mention how much money he has. I think this time I did feel a certain way towards his words because it had something to do with Novalee.

The kiss was good, great actually. Well the kiss and the other stuff. It was all great, whatever. Would I do it again? Absolutely. But fuck, Cgc might just be right and that pisses me off. I will gladly take the 'guys like you' label and wear it across my chest with any other girl.

But Novalee? I already hurt her once and I don't want to do it again. I don't want to kiss her again because I don't think I'll be able to give her more than just make out sessions and occasional hookups. Not with football starting already.

Have I probably secured my spot in the NFL? Yeah. I'm a good fucking football player. That's something that isn't completely secured though. There's thousands of college football players that have the chance to go to the pros.

Not all of them can make it, but a lot of them can take my spot if they play better. I never want to make the NFL scouts doubt that they should pick anyone over me.

I feel a heavy weight on my chest when I realize what I have to do. I have to tell Nova that the kiss was a mistake. Or something that was never supposed to happen. I don't really have an idea of how to do it.

I'm just not ready to see her disappointment when I do. That's a very familiar expression of hers that I know.

+

I knock twice on her door and take a step back. I didn't tell her I was coming over which I think was better than telling her. I was already on campus because of practice after all. A couple of seconds later, she opens the door.

Her face falls a bit, causing me to frown. We haven't talked since that night. "Oh, hey. I didn't know you were coming over?" She says calmly, recovering her slouchy presence immediately. I don't think she meant to react that way when she saw me.

"Uh yeah, can I come in?" I try not to sound too suspicious. I'm totally not about to dump you. Even though we're not even dating.  She nods, opening up the wooden door wider. I walk inside and she follows behind me shortly.

She hops up onto her bed, but doesn't look at me. Instead, she looks at the open computer in front of her. "Did you want to go over the speech for tomorrow?" She asks. Fuck. I forgot we were presenting that to the class tomorrow. Whatever, I don't think we need practice. It's just talking. I've been doing that since I was two.

I shake my head. "No, we got it." I say. She nods slightly, looking at me now. "Why so uneasy?" She says softly. I sigh. I have to tell her. It's now or never. I walk closer to her bed and lean against it.

"Nov-"

"Is this about Sunday?" She cuts me off. I sigh again, and nod. She shakes her head quickly. "It's okay, Chris. We don't have to talk about it. It happened and it shouldn't have escalated..as much as it did," she chuckles, her cheeks flushing that adorable shade of pink.

"It was just the tension from me opening up to you and you being so good about it.. that's it. That'll be the last time it happens." She chuckles, tucking a stand of hair being her ear. I smile, nodding slightly her words. "Yeah," I pause "still, I'm sorry for just kissing you. I should've at least asked or something." I chuckle, rubbing my temple with two fingers.

She smiles and shakes her head. "No, it's fine. If I didn't want to kiss you, I would've pulled away immediately and obviously I didn't, so." I nod. I'm so fucking relieved that she understands. I wasn't even the one who had to say anything either meaning she feels the same way about the situation. Thank God.

"Okay great. Sooo, last conversation about this, yeah?"

She pretends to zip her mouth and throws the imaginary key. I smile and she returns it. It's gonna be hard to not want to kiss her now.