BlackHeart

Chapter 72 (3 weeks later)

It's been three weeks since I left New York after fashion week was complete. My brother Elio and I had gotten into an argument bright and early in the morning when he drove me to the airport. It was about everything that went down with Dom. I cried for two reason. I was overwhelmed by fighting with my brother, and I was emotional about what happened with Dom. Knowing that was me saying goodbye to him ripped a hole in my heart.

I knew he'd be angry that I fucked him and left him, but maybe now he'll know how I feel. We haven't spoken since. I wasn't even around to speak to. Because Elio felt guilty that I was fried from working so hard, and dealing with his crazy best friend, he ended up paying for a trip for me and Sophia to go somewhere tropical during my time off.

I had a few weeks since Helen left for some client outside of Paris. Cynthia herself was going on vacation, with the lull between this fashion week, and the next one here in Paris.

It was a much needed trip. Sophia and I had an amazing time. Catching tans, swimming the gorgeous infinity pool at the villa my brother rented, and making friends with the locals who had a boat, taking us out on the water. It was so awesome. We ate great food, we drank when we wanted to, and we roamed the town on bicycles in laughter and relaxation to the fullest definition of it. It helped soothe the ache that stayed in my chest after leaving Dom that way.

I knew I needed to do it though. I didn't want to share him with every woman, and he wasn't willing to stop fucking other girls. I couldn't do it anymore. It'd hurt worse to be in contact with him and feel closer to him when all this is just a physical thing for Dom. We aren't on the same page, and I just needed to end it. No more confusing mixed messages.

Plus I was hurting Elio in the process, and it wasn't fair to him. Especially since his best friend wasn't even trying to make a relationship out of this. Maybe if he was I'd fight Elio on his anger of Dom and I having something between us. Elio knew his best friend. He knew it'd end in heartbreak. My heart break. Certainly not his.

Aside from the drama with Dom, New York fashion week was amazing. I got to meet and see so many influential people, wear beautiful gowns, and gain experience for my job. I got to meet Donatella Versace, Anna Wintour, and I sat next to freaking Jon Snow, or at least the actor who plays the role of Jon Snow in the show Game of Thrones. He was seated beside me at the Saint Laurent show and I almost died. He actually took a picture with me too which was kind.

But the biggest most important thing that happened to me at NYFW was that I saw Karl Lagerfeld...my idol...in the flesh. He was taking a photograph with two models and I just stopped in my tracks and stared openly with my jaw dropped. The man saw my clear shock and awe, and he chuckled, giving my shoulder a pat as he passed me. I was dizzy with glee. Amazing. This life I'm living is incredible, and that's why I can't dwell on Domani freaking De Luca.

Even his sister says it.

So, for a couple weeks I drank tropical fruity drinks and caught a tan in the hot sun. I laughed, and danced, and enjoyed the beach, the ocean, and the beautiful villa with my best friend. Once we got home it was back to work for me. Even though Paris is 'work' it's still its own form of paradise. I have Sophia always here to show me a good time. And I stayed good friends with Simon regardless of what Dom said back in New York. He's away on an assignment and we chatted on facetime and he's always someone that can make me laugh.

I've spent my life depriving myself of the things I want. All in fear of another. Now I'm taking my life back.

-

Summer is starting to come to a close for us and fall is fast approaching. I'm halfway through my time here in Paris. I can't believe it. I'll be home by Christmas and it's bittersweet for me. I've had an amazing experience here, but I don't know when I'll receive a chance like this again. In New York I have Helen, but after getting a taste of Vogue I want more of it. I'm so grateful to Helen. I just know what I want to do for work, and Vogue is closer to it than just being a stylist.