The Safe Haven

Childhood

Russia's pov
☆°•☆•°☆

"I have a right to not accept my father's apology. I mean- what does he expect? Me jumping into his arms with boyish glee?" America paced the living room. He radiated frustration and conflicted feelings.
"I know, love. You don't have to forgive your father for what he did to you; although, the wound will only grow if you don't fix it. You have an opportunity to fix broken bonds with your father now," I  advised my conflicted mate from my spot on the couch. "I wish that I had made amends with my dad before he died. I don't want you to have the same regrets." Although I was the one to put the frustrating alpha out of his misery.
My mate stopped his pacing to run a hand through his fluffy hair. A frustrated sigh escaped him.
"Please sit down, Stars." The flustered man huffed but sat down beside me with his arms crossed.
I hate seeing my Stars like this. I took a deep breath. "If it would help, I could tell you about my childhood. It's nothing compared to yours, but my dad was also a dick, even though I was his 'favorite.'" I mumbled.
Stars placed a hand on my knee. "Only if you're comfortable with that."
I nodded. "So. Where do I start?" I wrapped my arms around America's waist and pulled him close. He let out a squeak of surprise but let me continue to hold him.

"My father was quite the womanizer. He had three mates, but many other flings that came and went- quite literally-" America smacked my arm. I chuckled in amusement,
"You're adorable." I gave him a quick kiss before continuing. "He was rather fond of my mother, so he marked her and gave her that necklace that you're wearing now." He fiddled with the charm.
"She was a strong beta that soon became a housewife after having me. I am the oldest of my siblings. Ukraine is two years younger than me: his mother was a weaker beta and my dad only marked her because she gave him a son. Kaza is three years younger than me. He is a hybrid but took on more of his mother's features. My father took him and basically threw his mother out. We were too young to remember who she was. And Bela is the youngest of us. Her mother was very kind but naive which lead to her demise. Ukraine'smother took ill and died when he was three. And my mother just... left."
I took a breather. She never told anyone why, or where she was going. One day she was there, the next day she wasn't.
Maybe she left because of me.

"I'm so sorry," America sounded between the spectrum of shocked and apologetic.
"Oh I haven't even scratched the surface, my Stars," I nervously chuckled. He patted my chest, climbed on my lap, wrapped his arms around my neck, gave my mark a small kiss, rested his on my shoulder, and took my hair out of the low ponytail I had.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
"I am getting comfy and in position for optimal cuddles." He nuzzled into me. I held him tightly to fill in any gaps between us and admired the warmth that radiated off his body into mine.
"And I have a feeling you need a shoulder to cry on." Stars whispered.

I kissed the side of his head before continuing.

"My father set unrealistic expectations for me as a child. He said it would make me a better man and alpha. In a way he was right and he shaped me into the person I am today. For that I thank him. He pushed me to my limit every day since I could walk. He needed his predecessor, me, to be worthy of maintaining his legacy. That man was unemotional and ruthless, but I loved him."
"Your dad sounds like a prick," Stars said coldly. I chuckled.
"Because he was a prick," I agreed with him.

"One time while I was out hunting I found a bear cub all alone. The cub couldn't have been older than two months and I couldn't have been more than seventeen years old. I thought that little thing was all alone, so I grabbed it and thought to myself, 'this would be a cool pet.' Before I knew it, mama bear was on top of me ready to check me into the afterlife. My father somehow found me in the knick of time and wrestled that bear off me. The bear ran off with her cub and I was left there with my dad," I took a shaking breath, "He was hurt. Really bad. We both knew he wasn't gonna make it. He told me that he'd rather die by the hands of his firstborn than a mangey bear. So he reached in his pocket and pulled out a dagger and gave it to me. He said that he was proud of me even though most of my scars came from stupidity and not glory. He said he wouldn't be mad and that I would be doing him a favor if I just plunged that dagger into his chest and stopped his misery. So I did," my dead voice resonated in the room as I stared off at nothing.

Numbness rippled through my body as memories from that night crept into my mind. The hot, sticky blood leaked through my fingers as I tried to stop the bleeding. Embarrassing tears streaming down my face, like right now.

"Oh my little Russ," my mate murmured. He held my head to his chest. "It's alright, my love. It's alright," he whispered sweet nothings into my hair. His gentle touches and sweet kisses almost broke through the numbness. My mate let out a surprised squeak when I pushed him onto the couch and got up. I walked to the cabinet, took out a bottle of liquor, and took a few big gulps.
"Russia!" Stars yelled. "It's not even three." The rather tall man that I saved tried to swipe away the vodka in my hand, but I held it out of his reach.
"Either this, or hurting myself, and if I hurt myself the cuts would just heal within a minute anyway. So what's the point?" my voice cracked as I fought back more tears.
"Hey, hey, hey. Russia please, just sit down. Let me try to make you feel better. I love you with all of my heart and it kills me seeing you like this." His eyebrows were drawn together. All of his features cried concern. A gentle hand glided against my side. My muscles tensed and the star-speckled hands dropped by their owner's side. Soft eyes gazed up at me. I love those eyes.
"Please Russ, let me help you," he begged once more.

I buried my face in the crook of his neck and inhaled his sweet, honey-like scent. He rubbed my back to soothe my emotions.
"You are the most amazing per-" his sentence ended with a yelp as I bit down on the base of his neck, remarking the omega as mine. My tongue lapped up the blood like a thirsty dog that had found water. I placed the vodka on the countertop before I placed my mate there. The taste of America's skin was more intoxicating than any liquor. The moans and whimpers and little gasps that escaped his lips became my favorite sounds. I pressed our bodies together and filled in any gaps between us.
"Stars, I want you," I panted, "I want you so much." My hands found their way under the beautiful man's shirt. My fingers traced toned muscle and scars. They searched for sensitive spots that made his slender body arch onto mine and moan into my mouth when I kissed him.
"When I said I wanted to help, I didn't have this in mind," he breathlessly chuckled.
"This is something we will both enjoy," I cood between the kisses I left over his body. I looked at him with half-lidded, lustful eyes. "And now you have to help me with a new problem." I placed my hands on his hips, anchoring him while I pressed mine further.
"I'll fuck you till you can't remember to walk," I growled in his ear.
"If I can walk tomorrow, then the next time we have sex I'm gonna top and fuck you till you can't even remember your name," the omega challenged me. We grinned at each other before trying to win our bet.
We both forgot about the time as we stripped off articles of clothing and drew the shades.

__________

Mmmmm juicy childhood trauma followed by borderline smut.
My favorite kind of chapter
;)