The Safe Haven

Apologie

Wow.
What am I supposed to be feeling?
Joy. Pride, maybe.
What emotions am I feeling?
Dread. Hopelessness. Terror. Paranoia that everyone in this pack will either be eliminated or tortured, including the baby. And a little bit of happiness that my sin will raise a family.

Everyone bombarded the alpha and his omega with countless questions.

"Please slow down. I don't want to have a stroke trying to decipher what all of you are saying at once," my eldest said, raising his hands.
"I need at least seven grandchildren!" France wagged a finger at the boys. "Get to work."
America looked disgusted. "No way you're getting seven out of me. I just got pregnant, and I hate throwing up to weird smells and food and cramps. No way I'll be doing this again." A disappointed look flashed over Russia's face before it was buried. "Oh don't be dramatic, my Stars. You might realize that the symptoms of pregnancy are a small price to pay to bring life into this world," his soft voice with a slight accent was oddly nice.
"Unless you carry the others, we aren't gonna have any other children in a while." The blush on the large man's face was everywhere. The couple's brothers snickered.

Ukraine poked the muscular alpha with a slim finger. "What, that isn't a robot? I learn new things every day," his voice of wowe. Russia growled but did nothing except swat his brother's hand away.
"Awe, is Rus cranky?" The slender American cooed at his mate. The blush on the largest man I've ever seen grew. "What the fuck? No. Why is everyone so weird?"
"Because you love weird things."
"I fell in love with you, so obviously."
America gave him a playful slap on the arm before both of them chuckled and held hands.

The conversation continued around me as it became mumbled, as if I fell of a boat and into the ocean, sinking deeper and deeper.

I have no clue what my two eldest sons grew up to be. I barely know them and I have been here for months. I can see their houses out of my windows and yet I am still distant. America doesn't have a square inch of skin left untouched by a scalpel or hands that harmed him. Now he has locked hands with his lover that saved him, mentally and physically. France told me how she and Canada escaped and it wrenched my heart. All I can do is thank the Lord that they got out before any major harm was conflicted to them. All I know about the twins is that they were studied to see how twins mind's work. To see how much they have in common and that's it. That thought soothes me. Knowing that nothing like what America was put through was being done on Aussie and Kiwi.

"Britain, darling, are you alright?" My mate smiled at me with a face full of worry.
"Yes, I'm fine." I guess since that grabbed the attention of my children, I'll confess my faults now.
"How do I start?" I paused to think. "I would like to apologize for the years of neglect, my sons. I know I am a terrible father and didn't show affection when you both were growing up, but I want to become better. I want to be more involved in your lives. I know that no amount of 'I'm sorry's' can fix what I've done, but I want this to be the start of something new."
Canada had the look of a child who had opened a gift they had been longing to get for months. Smile ear to ear, glowing green eyes, and happy energy radiating off his body. America, on the other hand, looked cold. Head and gaze turned away from me, crossed arms, and a scowl on his face.

The second tallest man in the room gave me a nod. "That would be nice," Canada claimed. America was ridged, and so was his mate. Unlike my eldest son, Russia was glaring daggers at me that shredded through my soul.
"America?" I asked cautiously. He took in a deep breath and exhaled. His exhausted eyes looked into mine.
"You don't know how much pain you have inflicted upon me. You abandoned me with my birth mother- she died soon later, by the way, if you even cared about her." Of course, I cared about her, but little did I know that she was an alpha's omega daughter. I couldn't have her root up her life to be with a pathetic beta. "Once France convinced you to take in your own son, you never showed any emotion besides anger or disappointment. You placed unreal expectations in front of me that didn't apply to anyone else." I wanted to make you stronger. I didn't want you to be dependent on anyone or anything. "And when I was dragged away and tortured you obviously fell in deep in their system because you are a 'powerful beta' which means you have a lot of force behind you, which means you could have looked up my records and see what those monsters were doing to me and have enough sway to stop it. Instead, you did nothing for me. Not once in my life, you've helped me. While I do admire your... courage to ask forgiveness from me, I'll never forgive you for the pain that you have brought me." My heart shattered. I broke eye contact with my child and nodded. His reasoning is justified, and there is nothing I can do to make him trust me again.

"I'll be leaving." America hastily stood up and walked away, his mate hot on his heels. The atmosphere was heavy and awkward after a mumbled conversation, Canada patted my shoulder. "I forgive you. But Marry sticks to his word." He said and walked out the door with Ukraine.

After everyone had left, excluding my France, I broke down.

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Spead wrote 600+ words within an hour.
Didn't proofread, so yeah.