Everything Sinister

Fourty

It was just fun with Demont. We joked. We fucked. We trained. We fucked. We fought. We sinned. We fucked...

But I felt it. Don't you think it was obvious, I started to feel it already? So foolishly? So fucking stupidly a few weeks into knowing this guy... I started to feel that sweet regret.

I wished we had met in a different life. Or just at a different time. A time when I was free and a time when he was good. But the funny thing is, we didn't have enough time to even choose the life we would meet in.

We had everything. But time.

It was Sheila's fourth day in. She was in the butchery for her fourth night and I was sitting on the kitchen island with caramels in my lap. Demont wasn't in the gym and I kind of regretted not asking him to stay with me that night. Torturing our minds, thinking how she was suffering from each bite of sweet candy. But I didn't want him to see me like this. To feel what I was feeling, staring at that fucking door. I didn't want him close enough to hear my heartbeat quickening because of worry.

I shoved another caramel into my mouth, staring blankly.

I asked myself like I did many times before, how has it come to this? I was looking after that little of eye-rolls and worry for ten years. And yet I still hadn't done enough to free her from the fucking Sincity.

Was she supposed to follow the same fate as you?

Fate. You are so dramatic, heh. We didn't have fate in Sincity. We only had Shaw. That was worse than some fucking destiny.

Just answer the question.

...no. As much as you think I am a piece of shit, I would never allow that.

But you didn't have any power to do so, now did you?

I liked you better when you looked at me like I was puking shit.

For a person who is not a liar, you sure don't like the truth.

Watch it...

Do you seriously want me to believe, you wouldn't train Sheila to replace you as soon as possible, Lovelle? How gullible of you-!

Next time when I have no chains... it won't be a table that I hit, sweetheart.

You know nothing of what I had done to prevent Sheila from becoming... a killer. Because Shaw would make her one. Perhaps not because of the reason you think but I don't care.

Sheila wasn't made to be a killer. Or rather... I made sure she would lack the skill.

Don't be ridiculous. Anyone can be a hitman.

Not in Sincity. Shaw wouldn't allow that. Because Sincity isn't a dump of crime. He made sure it was business. It was like amazon. Best rating? Best hitman. Greater price? Fights with greater tension. The riskiest business? The purer the drug.

When Sheila was four, I knew Shaw would want three things from her. Stealthiness, awareness, blind loyalty.

Let's just say when we were renovating when the kid was eight, someone made sure, the floor and all the doors were so silent with every move, she would have no idea how to step carefully to be completely unhearable. Someone bought her loud headphones for her twelve birthday. By the time she was thirteen, she couldn't hear the 15 000 Hz. And when it came to blind loyalty... she was too anxious about a kid to believe what anyone told her. She was a terrible liar. Sheila was so honest, Bell could faint from her burns.

You made her the worst material for a hitman.

Yes.

But it wasn't the only thing you did, was it?