When Different Worlds Collide ✔️

One of us- Kat's POV

Kat's POV-

With Christmas eve going on all around us and the family drama that Erik's uncles brought in with them, I had completely forgotten about my dress. I had completely taken that out of my mind until Erik had said something about it to his mom. After that, it was all I could think of.

What if the dress didn't fit? Of course, the dress wouldn't fit! I was getting fat. FAT. So fat. Wide. Thick. Gross. I'd never fit into any clothes that my mother bought me... I'd never be good enough.

I was obsessed over it. I couldn't get my mind to quit. I was stuck in a repetitive cycle that I didn't want to be a part of anymore.

My mother was not there to berate me. My body was not meant to be contortioned into different shapes and sizes in order to fit different clothes. My worth was not based on my shape or size.

So why was I still so nervous and scared?

The dress didn't fit. I already knew that it wouldn't. My body was not one that was made for the small sizes that my mother tried to force me in. I had big hips, my ass was round and plump, and my boobs weren't all cute and perky like other smaller girls' were.

So why did it make me feel so bad that I didn't fit into the dress?

I felt the tears coming to my eyes as I stared at myself in the mirror that was hung on the back of Nia's door. I couldn't zip it up more than a few inches. The top of the dress was gapping kind of unflatteringly because it couldn't be zipped up anymore. I looked ridiculous.

It didn't fit. I was fat. It might've fit if I hadn't eaten so much. What if I had exercised for a few hours a day? Could it have fit then? Those were some of the negative thoughts running through my head.

"Kat?" Nia asked as she tapped on her door patiently. "Are you done? Can I come in?"

I wanted to say no. I wanted to rip the dress off and go purge everything that I had consumed. I wanted to be okay...

"Y-yeah," I replied shakily.

She walked into the room and looked at me appraisingly. I knew that she hadn't meant to make me feel even worse, but I was quickly sinking into a dark state of mind the more she took me in. Without saying much, she walked around me and zipped the dress up a couple more inches and then held the top together for me with a nod.

"You look great," she told me softly.

I wanted to argue. I wanted to point out every single flaw that I saw to her. However, I just nodded once and then followed her directions to walk out of the room and go to her mom's alteration set up area. I wanted to believe her, but the thoughts in my mind were way too loud.

As I stood on the pedestal that Nia had directed me to, I had to blink back the tears harshly as I just stared at my reflection. I had to pull myself together. No one liked a crying and upset girl. No one wanted a woman who couldn't keep herself together. No one loved someone with no discipline or control over themselves.

"You are more than the love that they withhold, Kat," Erik said gently to me, coming up behind me.

I met his eyes through the mirror, and just stared at him for a few seconds. There were no words to express how grateful to him that I was at that moment. He did exactly what I needed him to... He reminded me of the things that I wanted to remember. He gave me an out. He reminded me of something else rather than my parents' messed up teachings that had been echoing through my mind.

"You are beautiful, inside and out," he spoke softly to me once again and kissed my cheek with a smile. "The world is ugly; not you."

I let his words float through my mind. They were my words. They were the words that I had written down to help myself through times that I needed to be reminded that me and my body were not the problem. I was not the problem.