When Different Worlds Collide ✔️

Safe space- Erik's POV

Erik's POV-

Supporting your partner through ED recovery:

-Learn: take some time to learn about eating disorders. (Check out the list of books and podcasts below)

-Love: love your partner through and through and tell them constantly. Remind your partner that you love them and that they are not defined by their ED.

-Ask: ask what you can do for your partner. Communication is key. Everyone's needs are different throughout recovery, don't be afraid to ask what they need from you.

-Encourage: encourage your partner to continue seeking treatment. There will be rough times. Having a partner to acknowledge the rough times and supporting them through it, is motivating and appreciated.

-Time: please don't expect rapid changes and improvements. Healing is never linear and is not the same for everyone in recovery. It will take time, patience, and grace.

-Don't forget yourself: sometimes we get too focused on our partner's recovery that we forget about ourselves. You matter too. Take care of yourself.

-Be aware of appearance-based comments: remember, some comments about their looks/body may be triggering to your partner. However, some of our patients really thrive off them too. This is where the communication needs to be open. Don't be afraid to ask if it is triggering or not. Also, be aware of body language too.

-Comments around food: please don't be the food police. We understand that you are worried and want to help. However, mealtimes are a very stressful and triggering time for someone with an ED. It is not your job to monitor food intake. Encouragements and affirmations may be helpful in some patients but not in others. Ask your partner what they need and avoid telling them that they are eating too much or too little.

Remember, it is not your job to 'fix' your partner. Your job is to be supportive and to be the safe space they run to when things get hard.

I stared at the pamphlet and read it over and over again. I wanted to be there for Kat. I wanted to help her through this. I truly wanted to be her safe space. She had been without a support system for so long, and it really made me upset that she had been dealing with everything on her own.

"Ah... another super exciting pamphlet from Dr. Perry?" She asked sarcastically when she came over to the booth that I was sitting in at Lisa's diner.

"Are you slacking off, Kat? What are you doing over here talking to me and not doing your job?" I joked.

"I am taking my break, sir. May I sit here or would you rather me go find somewhere else?"

I quickly pulled her into the booth right next to me with a smile. I kissed her head and put my arm around her as she settled next to me. She plucked one of my earphones out of my ear, and un-paused the song that was playing from my phone.

I really enjoyed those little moments with her... Those moments when it was just me and her, and everything else didn't really matter. Kat and I just... clicked. Everything was made easy with her. However, everything that surrounded the two of us complicated things and made everything difficult. We clicked with each other, but everything around us couldn't be more difficult.

"So, can I take you on a proper date this weekend?" I asked quietly.

Her eyes instantly lit up at my words and she smiled. "As long as it's nothing like that prick, Matthew's, date," she answered with a smirk.

"No four-hundred-dollar bottle of wine and two-hundred-dollar plate with only enough food to fit on a single cracker?" I joked.

I was testing my limits with the food talk. Thankfully, Kat didn't seem bothered by it in the least as she laughed hysterically at my words. Talking of food didn't seem to be a problem to her. That was good to know.