When Different Worlds Collide ✔️

Take your power back- Kat's POV

Kat's POV-

"Do you want to hurt yourself or others right now?" The question hung in the air like a heavy fog, suffocating and harsh.

I took my time to truly think about it. I knew that my answer was what would separate me from freedom and the watchful scrutiny of others.

But not really...

I mean, I was always under scrutiny and judgement. In fact, as I sat there and truly thought it over, the affirmative answer was looking better and better. If I was locked away as a danger to myself and others, I wouldn't have to deal with my parents anymore. I wouldn't have to deal with trying to be 'good' in their eyes. In fact, I could be as crazy as I wanted to be, and they wouldn't get a single say in it.

I could get away from them.

It would be a lie though. I didn't want to hurt myself, not seriously anyways. I didn't want to hurt anyone else either. I just wanted to be able to make it through a whole day without a freak out. I wanted to be able to make it through the day without feeling so down on myself that I wanted to be somebody else.

"No..." I finally answered with a sigh.

"Are you sure, Kat?" Dr. Perry asked in a concerned voice. "There is no shame if you are feeling that way."

"I'm sure," I answered with another sigh. "In all honesty, I kind of wish I was feeling that way. It would be easier to feel that way."

"Easier?"

"Easier. Then you'd write down that I am a danger to myself and in a crisis then you'd ship me off to a treatment center. I could be isolated. I could act the way that I want to act. I could have a break. Maybe I could even get the ingrained expectations out of my head," I answered.

"Even if you could get it all out of your head in isolation, which would be so incredibly hard since they have been ingrained into you since you were a child, it would all just come back when you reentered society. They are conditioned behaviors, Kat. They are things that you have been taught all your life. Society reenforces them to you in different ways. Your parents still teach them. You still remember them in your own head. You punish yourself for not living up to those expectations. Isolation and separation won't cure you of all of that," Dr. Perry explained. "You can't just run away."

"I know that I can't run away! That's part of the problem!" I yelled in angry fit. "Even when I turn eighteen, I'll still be stuck. I can't get out. Do you think my parents will ever let that happen? They'll never let me go. They won't let me be like Penelope Price. She got out of her parents' grasps five years ago after graduating and people still talk about her and the Price family to this day.

"Never mind the fact that she had two other siblings. Never mind the fact that her brother was always going to be the one to take over their family legacy. No, all they talk about is how Penny Price left her family to go work in retail, married a low-class loser, and got fat. My parents could never be the ones to endure that kind of talk from their friends. They'll always find a way to keep me in their grasps. It's out of my control. It's pointless to pretend otherwise."

Dr. Perry was speechless at my outburst. She stared at me for a moment before nodding once. "You feel trapped," she said with another nod.

"I am trapped," I corrected in a bitter voice. "Everything that I'm doing... Therapy, eating, Erik... It's all pointless. I want to be happy, but it can only ever be temporary. I'm not going to be able to keep any of it, so what is the point?"

"How will they keep you from it?"

"I don't know. They'll find a way though; I'm sure of it."

"So why do you continue doing these things then?" She asked seriously.