Cross In The Light ✔️

Ch. 45

Jamie POV
I can't believe Crosshairs and Drift brought me back here. I can't fight or even get out of bed without pain. Pain medication doesn't take care of the pain completely. Even sitting up hurts. Cogman walks in with a tray and puts it on my lap. He doesn't look pleased as he walks away. He's in a pissed-off mood most of the time, but this feels different. I'm not even going to ask; there are more serious issues, like how I'm back here while Lightning wants me dead.
"Leave her alone for a few days," I hear Drift in the hallway, "though I don't think the pain will be better; I'm hoping she'll relax in a few days."
"She'll need more than a few days," Lightning says, "more like months... if we're lucky. "
I watch her and Crosshairs walk past the room before Drift walks in and lies on the bed next to me.
"She knows she can't come in unless you want her to. Crosshairs and I have been with her since that day; she feels so bad."
"Bullshit, she's faking!"
Yelling causes more pain. Drift tries to help as best he can since it's too soon for another infusion.
"I told you she's not coming in here until you want."

Crosshairs POV
I told Lightning not to eavesdrop, but of course, she didn't listen. It's hard to believe Jamie doesn't trust Lightning. With the way she's thinking now, there are a few others she should have told to frag off but didn't. I don't understand her thinking, which means I can't help my sister. Drift would be pissed if I try to convince Jamie to let Lightning near her; I wouldn't let Lightning near her, either. I don't blame Jamie for being angry and afraid after nearly being killed. We go to have dinner with the others.

I go back into Drift's room two hours later. Drift tries to get Jamie comfortable; we hate how she's still in a little pain even while on pain medication, and the place where her pain is doesn't help. We stay until she's asleep.

"Are we going to have to...?" I ask as Drift closes the door.
Drift sighs, "she actually is wearing a diaper now. She's going to be pissed once she's more relaxed and finds out, but I don't know if she'll be able to get to the bathroom without so much pain."
"And we were told standing and walking is good for her recovery. No doubt Lightning is going to be crying more, and now Jamie will be."
"I don't know if I want that more than having Jamie be angry."
I hate it's how it's still going to be rough for a while. To hear my girls cry more, and I feel like Drift is going to be crying more.

Lightning wants to say good night to Jamie before we go to bed, and Jamie has been sleeping for two hours. 
"Good night; I hope I can show you how sorry I am," she says and kisses Jamie.
Ok, so we kinda are lying to Jamie, but we mean it when we told her Lightning won't come in when Jamie is awake unless she wants Lightning to come in.
We all go to bed.

I hate even Lightning is woken up at two in the morning by Jamie's crying, and it's not from pain either.
"Go help him!" Lightning insists though I want to get her away from here.
This hurts watching Jamie have these nightmares and knowing Lighting is watching all this.

Lightning POV
I can't believe I've caused these nightmares. These are bad, and I see Jamie trembling. I want to help, but I'll just scare her even more. I see why Crosshairs has to help. Jamie will not like it if it's to the point everyone has to be here when she's having a nightmare. For a warrior like her to be this terrified. Considering what I did, it's easy to figure out what her nightmares are about. Is there even a way to show her I'm sorry? I can't leave until I know she's ok. It hurts hearing her as she calms down.
"You're safe," Drift assures her.
"No, she'll try again or hurt any of you," Jamie says before crying again.
That's my cue to leave.

I don't bother going into Drift's room the next morning. Crosshairs tells me he and Drift want to get Jamie walking around the hallway, and maybe they'll carry her downstairs. I'm staying in my room with the door closed.
"I can't believe Bumblebee suggesting I try to spend time with Jamie while she's defenseless, and he's known her longer than you."
"I know it sounds fragged up, but he's right. You already shot Jamie in front of us—."
"Thanks for reminding me!"
"To Jamie, you will try again, even in front of us, but you can show her you won't."
"And watch her panic like last night. I give up, Crosshairs; I'm sorry."

Drift POV
"No fucking way people can walk with broken ribs," Jamie rages — though not yelling — as she tries to get comfortable.
"I know; I just started an infusion. We'll try in an hour."
I hate there's nothing I can do but wait for the medication to kick in. I kept the nasogastric tube in, but I want Jamie to eat food. On cue, Bumblebee walks into the room.
"Not a word about the plan," I whisper as I walk by him.

I didn't think Crosshairs would wait for me. He waits until we walk into the kitchen to talk.
"Lightning gives up," he says in a sad tone.
That's not like Lightning at all. 
I sigh, not knowing what to say. I hate Lightning gave up disappointing Crosshairs, but I have to focus on Jamie's recovery.
"And Jamie is in too much pain to move," Crosshairs sighs and sits on a barstool at the island.
"Do you want me to talk to Lightning?" We hear Prime ask.
"I already told her why Bumblebee is right, then she told me she gives up," Crosshairs explains.
Optimus says nothing and walks out of the kitchen.