Lamhaat - SidNaaz

Chapter Six.

When something happened when least expected, a crushing surprise. That something is either met head on. Fiercely. Eye-to-eye. Or it is shoved away behind a mighty fortress of shame, and once the fort rises, you take a run, so fast that the vision blurs and light become invisible. That's what it felt like when Shehnaaz's clenched fists that held his shirt loosened up, and her hands laid flat on his chest and she pushed him away. Shoved him hard and stood up. She gasped, her body set afire with desire, and her soul mourning the infidelity she believed that she committed against her dead husband. She grabbed onto her chest, her eyes wide with fear, her lips swollen and glistening with the nectar of his mouth.

"I... Shit." He gasped, his eyes wide with regret.

"It didn't happen. It didn't. I'm married. I can't do that. They were right." She whispered, walking away from him, taking steps back desperately and eagerly.

"Shehnaaz... Listen to me. Please?" He said softly, she shook her head and tears flowed down her face. She wiped her lips, trying to get rid of that delicious and beautiful feeling and taste he left behind. Her body was aching to be touched and held by him. But it was wrong. The flowing waters weren't right. They would sink her.

"I'm.... No. I'm sorry. It didn't happen. Gurmeet." She whispered, gasping.

"Listen to me." He yelled at her. She flinched but stilled in place and looked at him.

"You can't change what happened and honestly, I won't take it back. That was the best fucking kiss I had in my life. but I'm sorry agar tumhe accha nahi laga. Help me up. I'll drop you home." He said. He was hurt. And he was irritated with himself. How could he have let the happen? She was so young. And a widow still mourning the loss of her husband. This was wrong. So wrong.

"Nahi... Il... I'll find my way back home. I'm sorry." She whispered, walking away.

"Bloody hell! Shehnaaz help me get up. Aur yaha kuch nahi milega tumhe. Come here sweetheart!" He screamed. She stilled when she heard the sweet name leave his mouth, for her.

"I'm sorry." She whispered, holding his hand and pulling him up.

"Now calm down." He sighed.

"I'm sorry for what happened. I'll be careful abi se. Chalo. I'll sit in the front, you won't have to look at me." He said, his heart aching slightly as he walked away, limping. She wiped her tears, and her lips were tingling as if they were on fire and being iced at the same time. She followed him silently and watched as his face hardened by the second. He opened the door to the passenger seat to get in.

"Nahi. Your leg... Piche hi baitho." She mumbled, getting into the backseat.

"It's alright." He said.

"Please?" She looked up at him. And those eyes, he felt used, because he was willing to do anything for those eyes. He slammed the door close making her flinch and got into the backseat next to her. It was a one hour drive back into the city, plus the traffic. She was fiddling with her fingers and squirming like a worm.

Sidharth was beyond irritated with himself for doing what he did, it was an amazing kiss, but with the wrong person and wrong timing. He ran his fingers through his hair and breathed heavily, she was too young, so inexperienced, his lips felt like they would bust open, and she was too bloody young for him, a recently widowed person - he listed out a few cons to convince himself that whatever happened was a mistake.

"Look... We both were vulnerable... And I'll be honest, what you said to my towards the end, it shook me up. Merko aaj tak maa ne bhi aise nahi samjha aur samjhaya the way you did. I was vulnerable. You were vulnerable. It was a mistake, and it should not have happened. It didn't mean anything more than a momentary comfort. I'm sorry. It won't ever happen again." He said to her. And it made her heart ache as if it was being crushed and wired to death.