Lamhaat - SidNaaz

Chapter Two.

The vilest of atrocities committed in the name of society couldn't even compare to the ones committed by one's own parents being driven by it. Parents are often those people who, even when the world could fall against, they will be there to fall back on. But when the very same parents refuse to understand your own plight?

Shehnaaz sat on the phone in the hotel room, listening to her mother, very patiently and lovingly, very sweetly, explaining to her about how a life of a widower should have been like. Shehnaaz couldn't blame her, that was what she was taught, but only if she used the same love and tone with her to tell her how proud she was of her for deciding to live even when all forces were trying kill her?

"Aisa hi hota hain putthar. Vidhwaonko ek saal tak kuch karna nahi hain putthu. Aur bahar bhi nahi nikalna chahiye." She said.

"Hmm."

"Hmm hmm kya kar rahi ho Shehnaaz. Samajh." She said, frustrated.

"Amma... You love me no?" She asked in a small voice, like a little child seeking assurance that she was safe in this big and cruel world.

"Haan putthu! Bohot zyada beta!" She cried. And finally, she finally felt it.

"Toh aap kyun yeh chahthi hain amma? Mai marr jau? Khaa loon goli? Kyunki woh better hain isse. You want me to breathe, you want my heart to beat... But you want my living body to live as if it's dead." She said.

"Gurmeet nahi raha, lekin mai toh hoon na? Aap aadhe ghante se baath kar rahi hain mere saath. Mera birthday hain aaj. 25 saal pehele aap khud laayi mujhe iss duniya lekin aaj aise bol rahe ho jaise aap chahthi ho ki mai marr jau. Aap chahti ho ki mai wapas uss ghar mei chalijau... Papaji ne kabhi bhi aap pe haath nahi uthaya aur naa hi daadaji aur daadiji ne. Toh jab woh aurath maarne aayi mujhe... Toh yeh aap seh kaise rahi ho? Mai toh aapki beti hoon na?" She said in a small, helpless voice.

"Putthar mai yeh nahi bol rahi hoon ki unhone jo kiya woh sahi hain... Lekin woh tera gh..."

"Nahi hain woh mera ghar. Jab tak Gummu tha, tab tak tha. They don't deserve me or my care, and agar aap iss baath ko aur aagey bhadayengi toh you won't either. Happy birthday to your daughter." She scoffed, hanging up. She was reading through her files that will help her out in her interview. She had a flight in the evening, later.

She walked into the apartment building late at night. Three suitcases sat in the elevator, she didn't want to trouble her brother, and she wanted to do this by herself. She pulled them out one by one towards his door, and then knocked on it.

"Shehnaaz!" Baaz opened the door. His eyes were lit up with delight. He pulled her into his arms the first thing, kissing her cheek.

"Kaisi hai?" He grinned, swaying side to side in happiness.

"Hoon bas." She mumbled, getting out of his hold and pulling two suitcases in, as Shehbaaz grabbed the other one.

"Maine kuch kiya tere liye." He grinned, pulling her into the spare room.

"Kya kiya?" She asked, pushing the door open.

"Birthday dinner. Butter chicken, rotiyan, biryani aur Coke." He grinned. Her stomach churned at the thought.

"Tu khaa le Baaz." She mumbled, walking into the room and throwing her dupatta on the bed.

"Motto! Yaar tera birthday hain... Issiliye mangwaya yeh sab." He said, but was met with the door as she slammed it on his face.

She hated things at that moment. She walked into the bathroom and cleaned up. She felt physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted. Did she miss Gurmeet? Yes. He was her companion. He was always there for her. And when so much time was spent together, when the heart was willing to fall in love with the other person, it knew that it had to, it was all her heart knew the day her parents got her married to him, that even if she didn't want to her married, now that she was in a marriage, she wanted to make it work. So her body, mind, heart, and soul, they were his... For the moment she would learn to love him.