Aera

Let It Go

"Do you want to listen to the final product?" Kevin asks while I'm laid out across the couch.

Liz and Bryan both turn around to look at me with excitement.

Putting my phone down I begin debating.

If I listen to the finished songs now, well what happens if I love it too much but can't release it.

What am I saying...I know I'll love it

...

...

...

"Ahh...just play it then" I shrug and sit up on the couch.

Liz giggles excitedly as she pushes her chair closer to me and grabs hold of my hand.

"The breakup version or the happy version?" Kevin asks but Bryan answers first.

"Breakup version, so the happy version can cheer up the room after"

Nodding my head, I figure that's probably best.

"Alright, here we go," Kevin says with a wide smile as he clicks play.

...

"Wow, it's really beautiful" Liz smiles while I look down at my hands.

The song was very personal to me. It obviously contains my emotions and feelings for Jaehyun which made me nervous.

I never wanted to be that girl to write breakup songs about her ex...but look at me now.

The song was beautiful and it's about acknowledging what we had in our relationship and how precious it was to me...but in the end, I'll be okay without it.

It helped that in "TATB" second book, Laura Jean and Peter go through something similar. So I guess I tell people the song was based on that and not anything personally related to me.

I would be lying to Blinks, but I also just couldn't acknowledge I had been in a relationship. I also was adamant about not having any credit. 

In the public eye, I will have done nothing with this song but just sing it.

It was for the best and what made me feel comfortable.

...

...

"Ready for the love song version?" Kevin asks uncertainly.

I realize I hadn't said anything in regards to the song. Tucking a strand of hair behind my ear I nod at him.

There were two versions of the song a love song and a breakup version. I think everyone knows which one I'm more attached to at the moment, but I did still appreciate the love version or "happy" version.

...

Bryan was right to suggest listening to this one last. Sure both songs reminded me of Jae but there was just a sense of peace after listening to the "happy" version.

It had a slow beat and didn't have crazy high notes, so it was just a song you can sing along with and relax to.

Or maybe that's just what I do.

"I really do love them!" I finally say. "Thank you guys for working hard on it"

Liz gives me a side hug while the boy's fists bump each other.