MCYT oneshots

Can't stand the thought of losing you - Tommy

T/W cancer (yes this is another cancer story but it's a completely different concept.)

Tommy's P.O.V

I was sick. The kind of sick that you couldn't just remedy with the contents of the bathroom cabinet or a first-aid kit. It was the kind of sick that you wouldn't just walk off. 

No, I was dying.

I had stage 3 Chronic myelogenous leukaemia. 

And it was terminal.

There was no walking away from it and I had to find a way to accept that. I was dying and there was no way to stop the fast deterioration that had taken over my body. I felt sick constantly and almost anytime I stood I had to use a mobility aid so that I wouldn't pass out. I was still allowed to live at home - I was living alone as I didn't exactly have parents to live with - and it was difficult to get through my day to day life. 

There was always the fear that I would die alone and no one would find out until I was due to pay rent as if you were even a second late, the landlord would come and investigate. I would know. But since I had only just paid my rent, it would be a month before the next check would be due. A month before anyone could find my body. It was a morbid thought, sure, but I couldn't help it. I hated being alone but I didn't want to burden anyone with the responsibility of looking after me. No matter how much I craved physical contact and some sign of people caring. 

Streams were carrying on as normal. Lore streams were now scheduled to twice a week and then any other streams were random. I had to be mindful of my hospital checkups though. They got in the way of a lot of things. I was yet to tell any of my friends about the diagnosis. Mostly because I didn't want them to treat me differently. I wanted to be a normal person, a semi-normal human who can do all the things that anyone else can, not a sick kid whose time is running out way too quick for him to handle. A sick kid who knows he doesn't have much time but still can't accept that.  

I just wanted to be treated as an equal for once.

We were in the middle of a lore stream when everything started to go wrong. I was streaming with Tubbo, Ranboo, Wilbur and Philza when I started to feel really dizzy. I moved away from the keyboard, putting my head down on the desk knowing that I would be able to blame everything on low blood pressure which it could've been. I kept my head resting on my arms as I try to keep myself grounding, pinching my arms lightly so I wouldn't slip away and pass out. I couldn't pass out on camera. My lungs stuttered a little as I drew in short, sharp breaths.

"Tommy?" Wilbur's voice came through my headphones, "Breaking lore for a moment, are you alright?"

"Yeah, uh, my blood pressure just dropped so I'm...kinda light-headed," I replied.

"Okay, let's take a break for a moment then," Phil suggested.

I gave a quiet hum in agreement before zoning out and focusing more on stopping myself from blacking out. I was so far gone that I couldn't hear Wilbur calling my name as my body fell sideways and I hit the floor.

I was only out for five minutes, as Wilbur later told me, but it felt like I was waking up from a deep sleep. Fog filled my brain and it felt like I was on fire. I knew this was bad. I knew it meant I needed help, immediately. I could hear voices shouting for me as I started to remember what had happened.

"Tommy?!" Oh, that was Wilbur.

"Toms, can you hear us?" And Phil.

"Wilbur, can you turn off his stream?" And Tubbo.