MCYT oneshots

There's no need to panic, this isn't a test - Tommy

Before we start, I've redesigned part of the house. Bench Trio room together now. I drew this over two days but I only had about an hour so I'm sorry if it's not very good!

Panic attacks, intrusive thoughts, suicidal thoughts, self-harm 

Tommy's P.O.V

It was a Friday night and we were getting ready to do a lore stream. It was quite a heavy subject and I was getting increasingly nervous as the minutes ticked by. I didn't want to get set off on camera. Wilbur and Ranboo could sense my anxiety and they moved to sit on either side of me in the living room. Wilbur left shortly after to go and set up his stream leaving me with Tubbo and Ranboo. "Hey Toms," Tubbo spoke up, "Ranboo and I will watch your stream, and if at any point you need someone to come in, say the word...yellow." Ranboo squeezed my hand giving me an encouraging smile as I stood up and turned to walk up to my room. 

The stream was going well, sure I was a little shaky and was probably going to need to talk to Wilbur afterwards to make sure he was just acting and didn't actually hate me or anything but an hour in, things started to go wrong.

"My personal limbo was a train platform, Tommy," Wilbur began, "It was a train platform, no matter where I looked, no matter where I went, just concrete walls all around and a tube and a track running straight along. It doesn't matter what I did, Tommy, I could claw at the walls, I could bash on the doors, I could scream for help, I screamed until my lungs were sore, till my voice was hoarse and nothing ever changes. Nothing ever comes. Nothing ever helps you." He paused for dramatic effect taking a breath. At this point, my shaking had picked up, the words settling heavily against my shoulders, weighing down on my chest. "And then you arrive, you arrive and it was great!" He exclaimed, raising his voice now, "And then you left, you got on a train and you left!" I could feel my heart racing, guilt washing over me even if I hadn't done it in real life, what if I had. What if I made people feel that way. I knew how that felt and it was suffocating, painful beyond belief and I would never wish it upon anyone. So what if this was the truth? What if it was just Wilbur, spilling all his troubles that stemmed from me and disguised it as a character? What if my character, was me? "And Tommy the last thing I saw, was a train pulling in." Static started to fill my senses, ringing filling my ears and drowning out the rest of the noise. We met up with Quackity who gave us a tour around Las Nevadas. The buzzing at the back of my head began to die down and I was able to slip back into character once more. I toned up my excitement just like the script said. Specifically:

Tommy points out everything enthusiastically.

The line below was making me nervous.

Wilbur snaps and yells at Tommy.

It didn't specify any words, no prompts or warning just that at some point he was going to raise his voice again so I needed to start mentally preparing for that.