MCYT oneshots

Author is too tired to name this - Tommy

This is a trainwreck. As in it makes no sense.

T/W Past Child Abuse, Minor character Death, PTSD, Panic Attacks

Tommy's P.O.V

It had been a rough week. On Monday, my parents had both killed in a car crash. It shouldn't have been a big deal as I didn't have any contact with them anyway but it still felt awful. I know that they had abused me to no end. I know that they had screwed me up for life but I couldn't help feeling bad. Phil adopted me when I was 7 and it took me ages to open up let alone feel like I was part of the family. I had been in the system for two years before Phil fostered and (eventually) adopted me. Meaning I had spent 5 years under the custody of my abusive parents, 2 years going in and out of homes that didn't want me, or only had me for the slavery of it and then 9 years so far of staying in Phil's home. A place where I was wanted, where I felt loved. Wilbur was admittedly my favourite from the start. He looked was always protective of me and helped me with anything I needed. Techno would often read me a story/ greek mythology if I couldn't sleep it if I woke up from a nightmare. Phil was the best father that I could have ever wished for. He wasn't forceful or physical and he never shouted at us. I was so lucky to have them as my family and I reminded myself of that every single day. 

It was Phil that had broke the news to me.

"Hey mate," He said, pushing open my bedroom door, "Can I talk to you a moment?" 

"Uh, yeah sure." I knew that Phil would never send me back (he had reassured me he wouldn't many a time) but that sentence still struck fear in me. He came to sit on the end of my bed, placing his hand on my knee through the duvet. 

"That was Emma that just called," He started. Emma was my previous social worker. The one that helped me find Phil. "She, uh. she told me that your biological parents got into a car accident. They didn't make it." 

I didn't know what to say so I stared blankly at the wall in front of me. "I'll give you some space and...I'll be in the kitchen if you need me." 

I still didn't respond.

I know that I was probably making Phil worried and I hated myself for doing so but it was a lot to process.

The next day I was still in shock. I was at the beginning of a major depressive episode and I desperately wanted a hug but I had no clue how to ask for one. I was debating whether or not to ask Phil if I could stay home from school but I knew that he had work and I didn't want to bother him.

Throughout the school day, I found myself tired and unable to talk. Ranboo and Tubbo were teasing me relentlessly and I would never tell them (as I didn't want them to think I was weak or something) but their half-hearted insults and jokes were a little upsetting. 

By Wednesday, the episode was beginning to hit full force and I couldn't get out of bed except for the inevitable school day and using the bathroom. I felt too sick to eat and my brain was too foggy to have a conversation with anyone so I stayed where I was.

By Friday, things were beginning to calm down a little. Well, they were. Until Tubbo and Ranboo made this great idea for a bit on stream. We started to talk about the future and I was still in a bad mood so I wasn't speaking as much. The chat was commenting a lot on that.

"I'm just- I'm just gonna go dead silent and everyone will go oh what's wrong and I'll have run out, I won't be able to talk anymore, I'll be done," I said, only partially jokingly.

"Well that day, your career is over," Ranboo chuckled.

"I realise though, that's the thing, that's the thing I do that other streamers don't. I just don't stop talking. That's my trick." I laughed. I mean, it was true. I hated the silence so I kept talking so it couldn't fill my head.