Cold Blooded, Soft Hearted [ EDITING ]

34.

[FLASH BACK]
Nasir Dime

"You're such a handsome little boy!" My mother's friend, Trina, pinched my cheeks.

"Thank you, Ms. Trina."

"It's just Trina, baby." She smiled and then looked at my mother.

"Nasi, you better be good to Ms. Trina while mommy goes on vacation." My mother kneeled down to me.

"Yes ma'am, I will." My mother kissed my cheek and walked out the door. Trina closed the door leaving just me and her.

"Let's play a game." Trina smiled. "Hide-and-go-seek. If I catch you, I can do whatever I want."

"Okay!" I smiled and ran off to go hide as she was counting down.

I decided to hide in a closet in the basement. She'd never find me in here. I stayed silent as she crept throughout the house looking for me until the door swung open.

"Found you!" Trina giggled and grabbed my hand. She brought me upstairs and sat me on the couch. She examined me.

"Let's play again!" I cheered.

"No, Nasir, that's not how the game works. Take off your pants."

"But...I don't wanna take off my pants."

"The rules were if I found you, I could do whatever I want, right?" She glared at me and I nodded slowly as I took off my pants. I stared at her with my pants off but deep down, I knew something wasn't right.

"Now can I put them back on?" I looked around as she stood over me. She came over and pulled my underwear down. She started doing something Ive never experienced before. "I don't like this!"

"Relax, you're eight and you like girls, right?" She stopped sucking and looked at me.

"I really don't think this is okay!" I yelled.

"Shhh!" Trina shushed me. "It's okay." She continued and I pushed her off of me. I pulled up my underwear and grabbed my pants. I ran out the door and didn't look back. I didn't know what happened to me but I knew it wasn't right. I ran back to my house and sat there, waiting for my mother to get back.

Weeks went by, didn't see her.

Two months went by, and I still didn't see her.

My 9th birthday came around and I still didn't see her.

I thought to myself that she's not coming back for me.

I started to pack a small bag and I left the house. I wandered for days until I got to the wrong side of town.

"Aye, lil nigga!" Someone shouted as I sat at the bus stop with my bag. I turned to see a grown individual approaching me. I took my mother's gun out my bag and pointed it at him. "Whoa! Lil man! What you know about that?"

"I know it'll buss a hole through yo chest." I glared at him and he laughed.

"You know sum. Aye, if you can get this up off you in a week, I'll have some money for you. Can you do that?" He handed me some dime bags of a white product.

"How much money?" I looked at the bag and then him.

"A lot."

"What is it?"

"Cocaine, nigga. Damn, and I thought you knew sum. Gimme my shit back!" He snatched it and I thought to myself that I definitely needed that money.

"Nah nigga, of course I know what this is." I lied. It was also my first time saying that word but I just wanted to sound like I knew sum.

"That's what the fuck I'm talking about!" He dapped me up and handed me a small crumbled paper. "If you don't come back in a week with that shit gone, Ima kill yo ass."

I froze.

"Bet that up then." I said as he handed me the bags and dipped off.

I started selling drugs at nine.

I went around the neighborhood for three days and sold every dime bag the nigga gave me.

I went to the address and dumped the money on the table out my pockets.

"Where my money?"

"Hell nah, no way it took your lil ass three days. I got niggas who take weeks to sell that shit."

"I'm not niggas, I'm Nas." I mugged him and he laughed.

"I like that. You my lil worker, Nas."

I ain't ever think about my mother again.