STILL WITH YOU (JIKOOK)

35.

'The first ever time, I thought about me, my feelings and this is what I get to listen from you jungkook. My entire life, I have always obeyed others. I even prioritised you over me after getting married to you. Your meal, your laundry, your outfit..I took care of it all. You were everything to me when I was nobody to you. Crushed my own feelings, my self esteem to be with you when you wanted me to disappear. And now for the first ever time, I am voicing myself out and you just tell me to shut up and not think about myself. Why don't you even get it? Why do you think I am getting jealous of jin? It's because of you, jungkook.'

'Exactly! See you are all aware about yourself, me, jin, my feelings towards him and towards you. And you are still getting jealous of him when you clearly know you won't get what you want from me. It's always been jin for me. I am glad that you are well aware of it. Now if you will excuse me...leave the room, jimin.' Jungkook remarked while pointing towards the door. He had once again turned blind eye to jimin's tears.

'You said you were sorry. You said you were guilty, jungkook. Why are you being like this?' Jimin lowly said, gulping the lump formed in his throat.

'I was indeed sorry and guilty. But tell me, did I ever say I was in love with you? Did I ever say I had feelings for you? Did I ever tell you to feel for me? No, right? I have always made it crystal clear. I didn't give you hope. I was honest. You maybe hurt but I have done nothing to you this time.' Jungkook thoughtlessly spat his words out not caring about the way jimin was feeling. It wasn't like he ever cared truthfully.

'I feel like a clown right now. I was fighting for something which wasn't even mine. I am leaving. Not only this room but also this house. Your life. If I had never came across you at the hospital, I don't know about me but you surely would have felt ecstatic. I shouldn't have come back. I am going and this time I won't come back.' Jimin said wiping his newly formed tears.

He realised he was staying there for nothing. The house wasn't his, jungkook wasn't his. The clothes he was wearing wasn't his. He had nothing to call, as His. Even the life he was living wasn't his. First he worked his bones at the orphange and then at jungkook's house. Never ever he considered his own feelings and that's what makes him more pathetic.

'You aren't going anywhere, jimin.' Before jimin could turn and made his way to the door, one of his wrists was already in the grip of jungkook's veiny hand.

'Leave my hand. Why do you got to make me stay when you already gave me a reality check?' Jimin whined while wiggling his wrist and scratching his nails on jungkook's hands to free his hand but it was all futile as jungkook was even not budging.

'I dare you to leave jimin. I fucking dare you to leave. Where will you even go? To the orphange, or to the guy you were with at the hospital? Stop being stubborn. I am not letting you go anywhere at all.'

Jimin scoffed and halted his weak protests to free his hand in a second.

'You say you are being honest when you are hurting me to death..do you know that? You say you won't feel for me but at the same time you won't let me leave. What do you want me to do? What do you want me to even do? Do you want me to die? Speak up.' Jimin shouted, his dried tears forming little patches in his cheek, sniffling nose and absolutely red eyes which had no intention to stop the tears anytime soon. He was outraged and hurt simultaneously.

'Why would I even want you to die, jimin?' His grip around the wrist involuntary tightened. He wasn't letting jimin's hand off. He wasn't letting jimin go anywhere. The way his heart drummed with worry when jimin was nowhere to be be seen in the house that time, he wasn't going to feel the same, weird thing again by letting jimin leave.

'You won't leave my hand then? I too don't care as well.' Jimin vigorously stared scratching his own bare forearm with his medium lengthed nails causing jungkook to frown.

'Stop it, jimin. Stop it..' Jungkook was scared with the way jimin was scratching his own skin so carelessly.

He caught jimin's other wrist too, not being able to see the such sight. Jimin hurting himself with no sense of care and pain.

The faint marks of the scratches slowly started deepening its color and blood bubbled out from it. Even jungkook hissed at the sight but jimin was just blank.

'Is this your way of convincing me to fall in love with you?' Jungkook yelled but Jimin didn't speak up.

'I just want you to leave my hand and let me be on my own. I don't want anything else.' Jimin let out a tired voice and knocked the nearby glass table with his leg and slammed his delicate foot on the glass.

Not even a small hiss came out of jimin's mouth while jungkook was appalled with the way jimin was behaving. His bleeding foot looked terribly stinging and so did his wrist but jimin was just so lifeless.

'I would keep on hurting me unless you let me go.' Jimin's cracked voice resembling how broken he was, he was smiling god knows why. No pain, no care at all. Jungkook had seen jimin's blank expression before too but this time it was different.

He immediately let go of jimin's wrist feeling ghastly at jimin's state.

Jimin turned around and started taking small strides towards the door while staggering. Jungkook was puzzled. He didn't want jimin to leave but didn't want him to hurt himself too.

And just at the doorstep, jimin collapsed abruptly with a loud thud. It didn't take a second for jungkook to run towards him, concern all over his face.. he lifted him up after putting his hands below jimin's thighs and at his back.

Jimin's eyes fluttered a bit indicating he wasn't fully unconscious, jungkook was more than relieved. He lied jimin down on the couch, and hastily looked for first aid box in the drawer to stop the bleeding.

Jimin was awake by the time and as jungkook was nearing towards him with cotton and antiseptic, he stopped him showing his palm.

'I am good, jungkook. I don't need your help. I did this to myself so I will treat myself if I want to or leave the wound bleeding if I don't want to.' He spoke up, placing his feet on the floor with difficulty and this time he took even slower steps towards the door not wanting to collapse again.

A/n: 95 votes and unlock the next chap.💜