You Idiot | Bakudeku/Suicidal Deku

55 - Dream

Bakugo POV (fluff, self harm and mentions of it)

Deku stumbled into my room when it was almost midnight, immediately finding me and wrapping his arms around me. He whined something under his breath before burying his face into my hoodie.

I smiled softly to myself and picked him up, wrapping his legs around me and taking him to the bed. He held on to me like a koala, and once I set him on the bed I began helping him take off his suit. At one point I turned away and handed him one of my sweaters. He put it on happily before passing out without even the blankets on him.

I sat next to him and brushed his hair next to his hair as gently as I could with the tips of my fingers.

He rolled over and grabbed at my legs. I chuckled quietly, and lifted him up like he was a baby. He went completely limp in my arms, but settled down and relaxed until he was sleeping on my chest. I didn't want to move him, so I laid down for him to be more comfortable.

One of his hands crept up his chest, pulling the sleeve of the sweater down as he did. The scars glowed in the dim light.

One of my fingers touched it gently, tracing over each scar carefully.

Eventually I succumbed to sleep, and fell completely unconscious with him still on top of me. I don't remember when I fall asleep or notice it happen, it just happens. One moment, I was lying with my boyfriend sleeping soundly on my chest, and the next I was in a strange, bland building.

I walked forward with my hands in my pockets. It was late fall, and cool wind blew through open windows and caused my blonde hair to brush in front of my eyes.

It seemed familiar, kind of like a place I had been to multiple times when I was young, but I wasn't sure.

I reached a door and opened it up.

Ah, there it is. I remembered why it was familiar.

I think I had come there when one of my dad's brothers had gotten married. I'm not the best guest at a wedding, if you can imagine it.

I didn't know why I decided to come back. That place was stuffy and boring, not exactly something I want to dream about.

Pretty green grass decorated with flower petals and white ribbon. It was hazy when I walked smoothly down the aisle, looking around.

Faceless participants lined the chairs, happy but odd expressions on their faces.

Somehow some of the people I expected the most to be there weren't. There was one who I knew would be there, and he was.

He was wearing a suit and his freckles seemed to show even more in the sun. His dark hair was neatly combed and put in a way that somehow made him even cuter. He blushed darkly as I neared him, and I noticed a single flower petal that stood out with it's pale color in his hair.

I just remember that I was staring at him for a long time, until without thinking I was leaning down to kiss him.

When I pulled away, we were on the platform all on our own. He was still wearing a suit, but there were unexpected dark circles under his eyes, and his sea green irises were fixed tiredly on the floor.

They suddenly flicked up to me, and in an instant the fabric right above his elbows burned away, blood soaking it before it turned to ash.

Long crimson lines slowly etched themselves into his formerly smooth skin, excessively bleeding and dripping down his wrists and fingertips. I watched in utter horror as more and more appeared until it was all red, and he reached up to press his hands against his head.

"Please..."

He let out a choked sob, grabbing at his hair and looking up at me with tear stained cheeks.

My eyes flung wide open, a flash of color across my vision before it settled back into darkness.

"Deku..." I said out loud, looking down to see if he was still there. He scrunched his nose up, tilting his head to me.

"Mhm." He couldn't even talk, he was so exhausted. I whispered an apology and waited until I was sure he was asleep fully.

I didn't fully know what the dream was supposed to be about, but I guessed it was just my concern with him and his self harm issues. Which we hadn't had a problem with in a while, but still.

I had checked his arms occasionally, but not forcefully. I don't want to be that kind of person, who doesn't trust him at all and forces him to never be alone or do anything.

He knew I was still worried, so almost in a kind of reassurance he would roll up his sleeves at random times, just to make sure I wasn't stressing out.

On another note, was I really thinking about getting married to him? No, that was ridiculous. We're way too young, and why would I want to marry him?

I couldn't stop the image of his wearing a pretty ring and grinning from flashing through my mind.

I still couldn't move, not wanting to disturb him sleeping on top of me.

Maybe we wouldn't be together forever, maybe we would.

I didn't want to admit it, but I kinda hoped it was forever.

Small confession, I realized how much story is left before the end, and I got sad. I really like writing this and it's helping me cope with different things. I'm sad at the idea of it ending, but I don't want to write a bunch of useless fillers just to stretch it out.

A few times I've almost...given up, but writing is like therapy for me, and it's kept me safe.

Ily tho💙💙