You Idiot | Bakudeku/Suicidal Deku

4 - Masochist

Bakugo POV (cutting warning)

"What the hell are you doing?!" I snapped loudly.

Blood dripped down his arms and off of his fingertips, staining the tile red. He took a step back, shock still clear on his face. I hastily grabbed him by the wrist and pulled his arm out so I could look at it clearly. It stung my heart a little at what I saw.

Cut after cut ran across his arm, in an uneven stripe pattern. They were fresh, obviously, blood oozing out. It made me a little sick. What made me feel even worse was the thin but obvious lines stationed behind them. Old scars, maybe from years ago. I looked up at Deku.

"How long have you been doing this?" I growled through gritted teeth.

He winced, and I realized I was pressing my thumb harshly into one of his injuries. I pulled away, then grabbed his trembling hands with my own, just in case he tried to do anything.

"I-I don't know." he stared determinedly at the floor.

I inhaled sharply. "We're going to Mr. Aizawa, now."

"No!" he snapped, looking up at me. "Please, I don't want to get anybody involved, it's bad enough that you know!"

"Tch," I scoffed. "You don't have a choice."

"You do!" he cried. Tears suddenly spilled from his green eyes, wetting his cheeks and the front of his shirt. "Just let me explain, don't tell anyone!"

I inhaled sharply. "Come with me back to my room."

* * *

I forced Deku's arm under the cold water from my sink, wiping the blood from his arm as gently as I could. The water began running red. He watched me with puffy eyes. Occasionally he still would sniff, or shed a tear. I tried to ignore it.

Once the cuts stopped their excessive bleeding, I wrapped his arms in soft bandages. I would use a punching bag at home to train alot, and during some classes we can get pretty injured. I often had first aid stuff on hand.

He sat on the edge of my bed, and began picking at the edge of the bandage.

"I guess it's my fault for not checking that no one would come in, or going back to my room. Sorry, I guess." he rubbed the back of his neck and pulled down both of his sleeves.

I sat next to him, and grabbed his little face so he would have to look at me. "Don't apologize, nerd. Don't you ever try anything like this ever again or I'll mess you up."

I growled a little to myself. All I wanted was to console him, and be there for him, but as always, my mouth made words on it's own, and he was staring at me with a scared expression.

A smile twitched on his cheeks. "Then do it."

"What?" My hands left his face, and I just stared at him and his pained expression. He had a slight smile on his face, but his eyes filled with tears.

I grabbed him by the jaw with one hand. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"I really don't care if you beat me up, didn't you see my arms? What are a few more injuries?" his voice cracked by the last word, and he rubbed his cheek against my palm. "I would probably like it." he purred.

For some reason I blushed a little. The way he was looking at me made my face warm, but I was still terrified of the way he was talking. His eyes were blank. He suddenly began staring at any place but me, hurt.

"I-I'm sorry..." he whimpered like a hurt puppy. "I don't know what's wrong with me...please, Kacchan, don't hate me..."

I stared into his eyes until they met mine. I began lowering my hand, pulling away from his face, but he grabbed me by the wrist with both hands and fingers to his cheeks. He pulled my hand over his mouth.

"What are you doing?" I asked quietly.

He moved his face enough to speak. "I don't want to say anything else stupid."

I covered his mouth firmly, squeezing his little cheeks. "Then shut up."

We sat there in the dim lamp light for a few minutes until I pulled away, crossing my arms and leaning back.

His eyes had drifted to a random point in the room.

"Why'd you do this?" I sighed, leaning over and putting my face in my hands.

"Huh?" he stared at me. "You...you don't know?"

"How the hell could I?" I snapped.

"Kacchan..." he stood up. "It doesn't matter, I have to get ready for class."

I stood up next to him, and grabbed his wrist. "Like hell you are!"

"You know I have to get dressed."

"Mhm." he was leaning way too close to me. "If you think I'm gonna let you be alone right now, you must be delusional."

"I'm not gonna do anything." he rolled his eyes like it was completely obvious.

I grabbed his other wrist and pulled him closer to me.

"Yeah, I'm gonna take your word for it." I said sarcastically, pulling him toward the door. He stumbled forward, and bumped hard into me.

"Ka-Kacchan wait!"

"If you wanna go change then do it, but I'm standing outside your door. You have five minutes to change, and then I'm coming in. Got it? You take more than five minutes then I will come in." I growled into his ear as I pulled him out the door and down the hallway. His room was only a little further down the hallway, so I wrenched his door open and shoved him inside. I grabbed him by the jaw again, staring at him. "You don't have any blades in your room, right?"

He was silent. I pulled his face closer to mine. "Answer me."

"No, I don't." He admitted.

"Fine." I let go of his face, and pushed him backwards into his room. "Five minutes."