You Idiot | Bakudeku/Suicidal Deku

12 - Left alone

Bakugo POV

I walked quickly down the hallway, my hands stuffed into my pockets, staring at the ground.

My God...I'm such an idiot.

His smirk, his teasing, everything, I liked it, and the look on his face after I kissed him was...wow. The slight blush on his cheeks, the way his hands trembled, I liked all of it. Why did I feel like that?

"Bakugo!" Kirishima waved to me. He was farther down the hallway I was in, and had one arm in the air and a big sharp-toothed grin on his face. "Hey man, Mr. Aizawa sent me down to check on you and Midoriya. You guys were taking a long time."

"Oh, hey." I normally would've glared at him, but all I could muster was a frown.

"Where's Mido?"

"Still in the nurses office, he'll come back later." I waved my hand behind me, trying to act like I didn't care.

"Did something happen?"

Damn, he was perceptive.

"No." I lied.

"If you just tell me, then it wouldn't seem so bad, you know?" he looked at me cautiously. "Did you hurt him? Did he hurt you? Does it have anything to do with Midoriya?"

I sighed. Kirishima might be the only one that I could tell. Anyone else would either not care, I don't trust, or would make a big deal about it and tell me I should ask him out or some shit. They would think I like him like that. I don't.

I nodded. "I just did something dumb."

"'Kay." he put his hands in his pockets and stared straight ahead. For a sweet moment I thought he might drop it. "So?"

"I kissed him." I blurted. I'd said it out loud.

His eyes widened, and he turned to stare at me. "Holy shit."

"Yeah." I kept my eyes on the ground.

"Wow...why'd you do it? Do you like him or something?"

Ugh. Why did he have to ask that question? Kinda figures.

"No I don't." I scratched the back of my neck. "I did it to shut him up, and it worked."

"Yeah, well, did he push you away or something?"

"Nope, he grabbed on me a little, but mostly looked shocked." I took a deep breath, trying to hide the pink on my cheeks. "If that idiot thinks that there's something more to it then he's stupid as hell. He knows me."

"It's not very nice of you to do that to him. He might have actually liked you or enjoyed it, and you just brush it off like it was nothing. I mean, this is Mido we're talking about." his eyes narrowed. He was disappointed in me.

I could have said anything. I could have told him that it did mean something to me. I could never say that out loud.

"I don't give a f*ck."

He cleared his throat, and changed the subject.

"You can't leave in class like that again, you missed Mr. Aizawa's announcement."

I looked at him in confusion. "What do you mean?"

He cleared his throat. "Mr. Aizawa announced that our class will be participating in a event to be there for young kids with mental illnesses."

"What do you mean?"

"Our class and a few others from other schools will be meeting with a group of aspiring heroes with different mental illnesses and disabilities, to y'know, give them hope. Especially other fellow upcoming heroes with similar conditions." He shrugged. "Because of everyone's quirks, and those who don't have any, some of them get bullied because of that. Even some promising heroes ended up dead before they were eighteen."

"Wow..." I gasped under my breath. It was way too soon. But...I didn't want Deku to end up like them. He needed to survive this.

Maybe he could help out, no, he could definitely help out. He was amazing at motivating people in the darkest of times, and he wouldn't want anyone to be sad. He would be the best one to have attend.

"When is it?" I asked.

"In a few days." He said without looking at me, leading me down the hallway and out the door. As we exited into one of the main halls of our school, leading right to our classroom. Students flooded the area around us, bumping into me and Kirishima.

Suddenly the familiar fear I'd felt before, the fear of what would happen if I left him alone in the nurses office, it all came back. Shit, shit. I'd broken my promise to myself.

"Damn it." I mumbled under my breath as I spun around to go back for him. Despite how awkward things were between us, I could leave him there.

A girl with blonde pigtails and big eyes suddenly slammed head on into my chest. She stumbled back, and I expected like everyone else she would mumble a "sorry" and run off. The little brat stared up at me, and growled under her breath.

"Watch it, you spiky haired idiot." she snarled.

"Excuse me?!" I growled back. "You're just a little f*cking girl, so shut the hell up!"

I prepared the small explosions on my palms, and before I could move another muscle I was slammed backwards into the ground. I was about to grab the person that tackled me and knock them out, when I saw Deku's pissed off face inches from mine.

He had my arms pinned to the ground, and one knee on my chest. He raised an eyebrow, and waited until my hands went back to normal. With a sigh, he got up off me, and continued down the hallway, stepping on my left hand.

He didn't care at all. He was acting colder to me than he had anyone.

I don't know why that hurt.

***

Deku didn't speak to me for three days.

I tried to speak to him multiple times. I even waited a whole night at his door. The only thing I was thinking about was making him not hate me. Then I remembered that I needed to keep him from hurting himself.

"Deku." I growled, finally slamming a hand next to my head. I caught him first thing as he was leaving his dorm, right after he woke up. His forearms still were covered with bandages.

He avoided my eyes.

"God, you're annoying." I rolled my eyes. "If you hate me, just say it, it doesn't matter, I have to make sure that you didn't hurt yourself anymore."

He crossed his arms. "Kacchan..."

"I told you, I have an obligation to protect you. And if you won't talk to me then at least let me see your arms every day so I won't stay up late wondering if I'll find you with your wrists slit in the morning, ok?! You think this is just hurting you, and that you're protecting the rest of us from your pain, but hurts even more that you don't trust me."

"You?"

I was shocked at the coldness in his eyes.

"I don't know if I said before, but you bullied me through my entire childhood; why of all people should I trust you with this?" There wasn't a note of anger, or sadness, or anything in his voice.

Damn. That's fair, but cold.

"Yeah, I understand that." I muttered. "I'm sorry about kissing you, y'know."

He stiffened, and ducked out from under my arm, walking down the hallway.

"I know you are already."

(Hi my humans! <3 There bout to be some serious angst, sweetness, and sadness. I'm going to try and get as many chapters out as possible. Bye bye!)