Hi Zayden? That's all he can say, hi Zayden? And he gives me a sad smile? Bullshit. I look at Rhett's arm and blood was sliding from his fingers to the white floor. He was pale but his eyes weren't grey and I knew this wasn't a nightmare. But the blood was scaring me.
My fingers start to tremble and my breathing was coming off uneven. I hit my back to the boy's door and my mouth opens to scream when Rhett quickly walks over to me and covers my mouth. Rhett's puts his finger to his lips for me to be quiet. I didn't like how he was touching me but the blood was making me dizzy and I want it to be gone.
"Are you going to scream?" Rhett asks quietly. I nod my head and try to think of a plan. He slowly takes his hand off my mouth and I was going to scream when I remembered my nightmare. Rhett eyes weren't brown anymore. They were grey and he stabbed me with his razor. I look at his hand and he didn't have a razor and I was glad. I sigh and run a hand through my hair.
"Why are you doing this?" I ask him, without looking up. I didn't want to look at him. He makes me sick. He makes me sick, that I actually cried. I cried because of him and I have no idea why he's doing this to himself.
"You wouldn't understand, Zayden," Rhett said and I heard footsteps move away.
I look up and see him staring at the mirror. "I hardly understand anything when three idiots want to be my friend. I don't know why you, Crevan, and Alexandria want to be my friend. There are other people who would love to be your friend but not me."
He winces when I said Alexandria name and that got me thinking. Does he knows Alexandria is cheating on him? Does he know Crevan? Was he at the party and knew Crevan made that bet? See what I'm talking about? I don't understand this shit, and I don't want to, but I can't leave Rhett. He's cutting himself and I'm the only one, besides an adult, knows Rhett's cutting.
I sigh and walk over to him. I look at the mirror and I see a sad boy who looks lost. It look like both of us were sad and lost. I shake my head and look back at the mirror. Maybe I'm seeing this. I grab Rhett's arm softly and he wince when touch his cut.
"Sorry..." I mumble and turn the water on on warm. I grab some piece of paper towel and put it in the water. I tap it on Rhett's arm and he hisses. I do the same for his other arm and he was looking down the whole time. I start to get annoyed and I was going to ask him something when he cut me off.
"Why didn't you stay with me?" I freeze and before Rhett can see me freeze I continue cleaning his arm. I can't tell him I was afraid of blood and it made me sick. He'll think I'm weak and he'll laugh at me. But he isn't like one of those dickheads. He's more mature and really nice. Damn you, Rhett. I hear the bell rings and I quickly tie the paper towel on Rhett's arms. I knew he was going to ask me how I did that but I glare at him before he can say anything.
He smiles and unexpectedly and quickly, he wraps his arms around my waist and my face squish on his strong chest. I badly want to push him away and glare at him for touching me but something, something made me not to.
I don't know what but I want to wrap my arms around Rhett's neck and pull him closer. He feels warm and big. Why is he hugging me? What did I do? Before I can push him away or say something, he pulls away and smirks and leaves the boy's bathroom, leaving me speechless. Now this has to be a dream.
~~~~~~~~~
As I was sitting in my seat in the back, I thought of Rhett hugging me and doing other things to me. Not sexual things. Things that makes me giddy and wants me to make him do it again, again, and again until I get tired of it. I don't think I would get tired of it. I pay attention in English because I love English and we do great things. We always have to talk to people about our thoughts but nobody talks to me. I think people don’t know I exist.
I hear the door open but I don't look up and my English teacher gasps. "Oh my god, I can't believe they pick my favorite student!"
"Well, actually," Oh no not him. "I volunteer and wanted to help students who need help."
"That's so wonderful of you! Take a seat next to..." Please don't say me. Please don't say me. Please don't say me. Please don't say- "Zayden."
I swear I think some teachers want to ruin my life. They want us to make us cry and see how painful it is to be a student. If I was a teacher, I would make this place a little happier instead of hell. I don't look up to see him and I hear footsteps pass me and a chair move.
"Hello Zayden," he whispered in my ear. I jump and glare at him.
"Get away from me," I said with gritted teeth. No way in HELL I'm getting in trouble with this dickhead. I love this class and I'm sure as hell not getting a F. He smirks and looks at the teacher.
"Okay, students, we have a Performance Task that is due after Halloween. I want you to make a poem and it has to be from the heart, not from your brain, and I want you to switch it with your partner and they will read it out loud in front of the class," my English teacher said.
Some students groan or suck their teeth. I just stay calm and I was glad I was doing something easy. But why need partners when you can do it by yourself? The room was exploded with kids going to their partners (friends) and they weren't talking about the Performance Task. Girls start to come over and I thought they came to ask me more pointless questions about myself but they went to Crevan. One girl even pushes me and I glare at the back of her head.
"Hi, I'm Harley and I want to know if you can be my partner," the girl name Harley said. I roll my eyes and went back doodling of me killing Crevan. Violent? Yes. Is it worth it? Heck yeah. Will you show it to him? If he bothers me again.
"Hillary, I'm sorry, but I already have a partner," Crevan said annoyingly. Why is he annoyed? I thought he would flirt with her or something.
"W-w-who's your partner?" Harley said, ignoring he said her name wrong. I can hear the pain in her voice and I knew she was going to cry. You’re crying over a boy who doesn't want to be your partner? Grow up.
"Zayden." I stop doodling and look at Crevan, shock that he would say that. Harley glares at me and walks away flipping her hair.
I give a death glare and ask, "Why did you say that? We're not partners."
Crevan smirks and moves his chair next to me. "If I help you get an A on this project, would you like to play Laser Tag with me?"
I was going to say no but then I thought of what my mom said. She wants me to hang out with people and not die alone and I really do want to play Laser Tag but he did made a bet with his idiot friend. I sigh and look at him in the eyes. In them was hope and happiness and for some reason I didn't want to ruin that.
"Fine but I don't want an A-. I want an A+, got that?" I demand. He nods and gives me a small smile. I feel my lips twitch and thought of what I said. This is a truly a nightmare and I really wish this was a nightmare. But this nightmare is reality. Nightmare equals reality.
YOU ARE READING
I'm Not Okay {FIN & EDITING}
Teen Fiction*MY FIRST BOYXBOY!* Zayden: a teen boy who doesn't know the definition of friends and family and wonders why he's in therapy when he's "normal and simple." But that soon ends when three people try to become his friend, his dad changing, his brothe...
