I'm Not Okay {FIN & EDITING}

{10} Lunch Table

I haven't seen Rhett in any of my classes. I thought I'd meet him in one of my classes but then I remembered that he was a little bit taller and older than me. I guessed he was in the tenth grade and I was still on the ninth. I've been told that I could skip ninth grade and go directly in the tenth grade, but I wanted to know stuff before I go into a higher level. 

I thought that day was going to go smoothly, especially after what happened in the morning, I was so not ready for more. Until I saw people sitting in my table, where I used to sit everyday.

I walked to my table and sat down. They noticed me and stopped talking and stared at me. Some stared at me like if I was a piece of meat, mostly girls, and some of them glared at me.  

I glared at them and said "What are you looking at?"

 I didn't understand why they were looking at me. They shouldn't even be sitting in my table.

"What's your name?" A guy asked me with black hair and blue eyes. He had snake bites on his lips and I wasn't going to lie, he looked like a loner than a jock.

"None of your business," I answered coldly. Some of them snickered and the guy with black hair and blue eyes glared at me and continued eating his lunch.

"His name is Zayden," the girl with the blond hair said. Some girls giggled and looked at my way.

I rolled my eyes and looked down on the table. How long was I going to keep this up? It has been three days since I told the whole school that I was "new", . Everyone started talking to me and it was annoying. Weren't they smart enough to discover that I existed since the beginning of the school year? I guess not.

"Nice name," a girl commented. I sighed and ignored her. All I wanted was to get my sketch pad out and start drawing. It made me calm and it gave me the chance to think of my mother and how she loved my dead flower drawing. I wanted to draw more so I can show her. 

"So, what brought you here, Zayden?" the blond haired girl asked. I looked up and put my elbow on the table and leaned my head on my right hand and went through my options:

If I assured them that I was new, I'd be lying to them, eventually, they'd know the truth and then hate me and never talk to me again. At that moment I could care less if they did that to me, but it kind of hurt that they'd ditch me because of one lie. I shrugged and looked at everyone on my table. They were looking at me, interested on what I have to say. 

I frowned. How what the hell? "I've been here all my life, just in a different school."

They nodded their heads and a boy with brown hair and dark green eyes asked me, "Do you play sports?"

Of course someone like him would ask me that. I don't think I look like I have the type of body to play sports. I was skinnier than a pencil. "No, not really," I said plainly.

He nodded his head and talked to a girl that was next to him. They kept asking me questions about me and I was getting annoyed yet I was kind of happy at the same time. Nobody has ever asked me about what I liked, didn't like, what was my hobby, did I have any siblings, and other shit. I wasn't sure if I should have felt that way but I was sure that I'd have to tell my therapist about this.

When lunch was finally over, they got with their stuff and some of them hugged me, nodded and smiled at me, or was satisfied with patting me on the back. I didn't totally understand why they were nice to me when all I've done was snapped at them. I shook my head and walked in the hallways and waited for everyone to go into their class. 

When school was over, I sat on the hallway floor biting my nail. I couldn't get Rhett out of my head again. I  haven't see him anywhere the whole day and I was getting slightly worried. Slightly. That didn't mean I was worried about him and wanted to run out of school and see how he was. Why was I worried about him in the first place? I pulled my legs to my chest and look around the hallway. I was nervous. What if my therapist didn't like my drawing or what if Rhett was there? What if she hated it and wanted me to draw it again? Why was Rhett in there in the first place?

I took my pad out of my bag, opened it and looked at my dead flower again. Why was I depressed and fragile? Was I numb and that was why I didn't know it? What was I feeling?

I heard the door click and I quickly closed my sketch. I grabbed my bag from the floor and got up. The door flew opened and Rhett came out with a smile on his face, which instantly faded away as soon as he saw me. He walked passed me. He didn't even glance at me and I felt...hurt.

I shook my head and walked into my therapist room. I shouldn't care anyway. He was weird either way. As soon as I was in, she closed the door and grabbed her clipboard. She sat down, put her glasses on and finally crossed her legs. I knew what was going to happen next. She asked me to take out my sketch so I did. She gasped once she saw my drawing.

"Zayden, this is beautiful!" She exclaimed. 

I feel my lips twitched. "Thanks." 

"Tell me about your drawing." 

"Um, well I was thinking about my mom, and I knew she loved flowers, so I was thinking of drawing a flower, but not a happy one. I looked at my window and noticed my dead flower that I was supposed to take care of it but school was killing me so that's why it died."

"You did a great job, Zayden. I think yours is more original, and you understand the exercise than the others." She smiled and handed me back my sketch pad. My lips twitched once more and my therapist smile widened. "You said something about a girl with blond hair and blue eyes? Did you see her again?" 

I groaned and my therapist laughed. Seriously? Why Blondie?