I'm Not Okay {FIN & EDITING}

{74} The Dad Talks to Son Talk

I changed into a baggy white shirt, black jeans, and waited for him to text me back. He didn't, though. What did he have to tell me? Did he lied and instead wanted to talk about the accident we had? Was he going to punch me again?  I closed my eyes and sighed through my nose. I needed to calm down. I don't have to let him in the house, I was busy anyway.

And I needed to draw. Yes, that's it All I needed was to calm down and drawing was enough to accomplish that mission. I picked up my pad, and pencil, I walked to my bed, climbed on and leaned my back to the wall. I took a deep breath and then started drawing. I didn't know what I was drawing but my pencil was just scribbling around like mad. Shit, when was he going to come?

What was taking him so long? I just wanted him to tell me what he needed to say and get the hell out. If he haven't texted me, I would've been talking to my dad about his date with Cassandra. I sighed and stopped drawing. Great. Thank you, Crevan, for ruining my moment.

I got up from my bed and opened the window. A slight breeze came into my room giving me goose bumps. I rubbed my arms and looked at the moon. I sighed again. Why weren't there stars in the sky? I've already had some of the things I wanted but I really wanted to see a real star. A star so bright, that I's be the only one to find it. I would show it to Eden and he'd be jump out of his skin for joy.

I walked out of my room, downstairs and into the living room where my dad was watching TV. "Shouldn't you be getting dressed for your date with Cassandra?" I asked and crossed my arms over my chest.

My dad turned his head to mine and dropped his cup. "She said today? I thought it was tomorrow!"

I chuckled and smirked. "I'm joking, dad. She did say tomorrow."

He glared at me playfully and shook his head. "Don't do that. I was looking at her green eyes the whole time. I wasn't listening to her."

"You must really like Cassandra if you weren't listening to her. Wait, don't we always do that to girls?"

My dad laughed. "Yes, but Cassandra might be different."

"Like mom?" My dad's eyes turned cold. I shouldn't have said that. It came out too quickly. "Dad, I didn't mean to say that. I-"

"Yes."

I raised an eyebrow and was about to say something when my dad interrupted me again.

"She's like your mom. She doesn't have the same appearances but I know she has the same personality as her, even more bright. I want to know her more. When we first met, I was still depressed about your mother but when we started talking about you, she actually cared. Anyways, I noticed how she was like your mother and I didn't want to get too close and ended up like your mother. So I dated Rachael and as much I tried I couldn't stop these feelings for her. Weeks went by and we haven't talked. I thought drinking was going to save me, but it didn't. I still have feelings for Cassandra and when she came today, I had to ask her out."

My dad's eyes softened and he was smiling like an idiot. My dad didn't like Cassandra; he loved her. He had the same silly smile over his face which he used to have around my mother. He would smile like an idiot when my mom would do stupid things and he would get mad but then she'll make him happy by making his favorite dinner.

I remembered when Rachael came here to eat dinner with us and saw food on the table; it was my dad's favorite food. I never knew he cooked.

"Rachael is a bitch," I said.

My dad smile widened and we busted out laughing. It felt good to talk to my dad about his feelings. It felt good that I could see him smile and laugh more. It felt good that we had this talk. We need more father and son talk.